One bed | Imamother

Bnei Berak 10

Mon, Oct 07 2024, 7:31 am

amother Lightgray wrote:

What is the source?
We have one bed, I had to have a hystetectomy.

Biblical would mean deoraita.

amother

Chambray

Mon, Oct 07 2024, 7:48 am

Hashem_Yaazor wrote:

It's one night, can someone sleep on the couch?

This. Or a mattress of some type on the floor, or really any other way to not be in the same bed. You don't need to buy a new bed, but you do need to not sleep in the same one.

↑ Hashem_Yaazor

Mon, Oct 07 2024, 8:48 am

amother Babyblue wrote:

I was told we do not need to keep all harchakos on Tisha B'Av, but yes on YK.

Not all harchakos, but sheina b'mita achas is one of them.
Some are lenient and allow 2 beds touching on TB (not YK) but I've not come across a shitta that allows one single bed that night.

amother

↑ OP

Mon, Oct 07 2024, 9:37 am

Thanks all, and for all those wondering, I'm a 20 something not getting my period due to additional health issues

bayis ne’eman

Mon, Oct 07 2024, 10:03 am

I believe the issuer of sleeping in same bed applies to night of Yom Kippur for all . I would assume those who don’t have second bed one sleeps on couch or mattress cot etc .

amother

Trillium

Mon, Oct 07 2024, 10:06 am

Get out the sukkah beds a bit early.

amother

Foxglove

Mon, Oct 07 2024, 10:07 am

amother Camellia wrote:

I had a hysterectomy for medical reasons at age 37. Therefore, I stopped being nida at a relatively young age. B"H I already had 4 children.

Me too, exactly the same age, B"H I survived the post partum hemorrhaging at the birth of my last child.

ChayaKa

Mon, Oct 07 2024, 10:17 am

amother OP wrote:

I only have one bed, do harchakos of physically not sleeping together apply on Yom Kippur? Do I need to get a blow up mattress?

יום הכפורים אסור בתשמיש המטה ובו ב"ס:
יום הכפורים אסור בתשמיש המטה ואסור ליגע באשתו כאילו היא נדה וכן אסור לישן עם אשתו במטה:
“It is forbidden to have s-xual intercourse on Yom Kippur” - Containing two paragraphs.

It is forbidden to have s-xual intercourse on Yom Kippur and it is forbidden to touch one’s wife *The following comment is given by Magen Avraham, (see footnote 33.): 615:1 - "His wife": It is forbidden (for him) to touch (her, his wife) also during the day (not only at night) and he should also not talk to her too much (Shenei Luḥot ha-Berit, של״ה, see footnote 20a.). And in the Maharil, מהרי״ל, (see footnote 8), the meaning is that one is to treat her (one's wife) according to all the laws of niddah (s-xual impurity due to menstruation). as if she were in her menstrual period, and so it is forbidden to sleep with one’s wife in (the same) bed (even without intercourse).

essie14

Mon, Oct 07 2024, 12:20 pm

Most post menopausal couples I know have only 1 bed. I guess it's possible that one spouse sleeps somewhere else on YK night.... not going to ask my in laws LOL

sequoia

Mon, Oct 07 2024, 1:10 pm

kugelEater wrote:

Ever ever ever? How does that work? (how can I sign up? lol)

You will, soon enough.

amother

Aquamarine

Mon, Oct 07 2024, 1:50 pm

Maybe the couch for the night? No other beds in the whole house?

amother

Heather

Mon, Oct 07 2024, 1:56 pm

Raizle wrote:

Yeah I don't think you have to have an extra bed just for Yom Kippur unless you don't trust yourselves.
You can't be intimate though

Nothing to do with yes trusting yourself or not, one is not permitted to lie with their spouse on Yom Kipper.

amother

Wandflower

Mon, Oct 07 2024, 6:01 pm

Or you could both sleep in same bed - but take it in turns! Shift 1 sleeps while other davens / learns / says tehillim, then switch!

amother

Cherry

Mon, Oct 07 2024, 6:09 pm

amother Crocus wrote:

Its not "fun" - people without a womb don't get a period ( I have a friend like this, she had 2 kids thru surrogacy)

But my assumption is that she is away for sukkos and the vacation home or hotel room does not have two beds....

Yes those with MRKH never ever get a period and I’m sure no one would signup for this.

Bh with medical advances some are having uterine transplants and experiencing periods for the 1st time in their lives.