When To Train? | Imamother

amother

OP ↓

Sun, Oct 06 2024, 2:38 pm

Dc will be 2 on sukkos and I’m due Pesach time. The ideal time to train would be closer to 2 1/2 but that won’t work this time. Not sure I want to train before baby comes as I’m afraid dc will regress. On the other hand training with a newborn doesn’t sound like fun either. Dc needs to be trained for the coming school year and I don’t want to wait for the last minute. Any ideas? When would make the most sense to train?

amother

Aconite

Sun, Oct 06 2024, 2:42 pm

I have found across the board that 3 works the best for us. My friend with 11 kids kh says the same.

amother

Mimosa

Sun, Oct 06 2024, 2:42 pm

I had a baby in June. I was upstate for the summer and ended up training the week we came home. It was stressful but he's doing pretty well now bh

amother

Emerald

Sun, Oct 06 2024, 2:50 pm

I’m a little old school so I know many won’t agree with me but why not now. With the holidays coming up you will be there to remind him and really make sure he is trained by the time he starts day care again

theoneandonly

Sun, Oct 06 2024, 3:47 pm

Next summer when he's nearly three.
Training too early leads to way more accidents.

amother

Calendula

Sun, Oct 06 2024, 3:48 pm

Honestly if the kid seems ready I would try. My 4th I trained 2 years and 9 months because she was ready. It took a week.

amother

Cobalt

Sun, Oct 06 2024, 3:55 pm

Who said 2 1/2 is best?
Every child is different.
I had one going on their own initiative at 21 months I had to go for it and it was smooth sailing. More than one child was fully trained at 2.3 yrs. I did find the closer to 3 the harder and more stubborn they where. I don't know if that's just because the children I waited the longest with are the most strong willed or if it's across the board but I did read it as a fact in a toilet training book.
Ideal is what works best for you and child. If you want child ready before having a baby and think child is cognitively ready go for it after succos. You will have a long time then and it will not be a new skill likely to regress with new baby

amother

DarkGray

Sun, Oct 06 2024, 4:04 pm

Every single kid is different. I train early either 2amd 1 month or 2 and 4 months so far but it's up to kid. If u miss the window of opportunity u have a harder time. Also why wait until child is 3 when they can be trained now or way sooner..yes u will have more accidents but they will stop after a few weeks

HonesttoGod

Sun, Oct 06 2024, 4:06 pm

When they’re ready.
If you try to push it won’t go. It’ll be worse.
I’ve done it at 2, 2.5, and 3+. I wait until they show me signs of being ready such as being able to say “I need to make”. Understanding the concept of toilet and making. Etc.

amother

Moonstone

Sun, Oct 06 2024, 4:08 pm

amother Cobalt wrote:

Despite the "fact" in that baby book, I'd be more likely to assume that parents naturally wait until later to train kids who are more stubborn by nature, because they know they will be hard to train.

OP, every kid is different. Do you think your child is ready? If so, train now. If not, wait until the summer. I tried to train my oldest at age 2 because I read somewhere/was told that that was the best time to do it. It failed miserably -- he wasn't ready. His playgroup morah wasn't surprised when I came back with him on Monday in diapers. She knew he wasn't ready, but also knew I wouldn't listen to her if she told me that. (She was right.)

I tried again at 2.5, because I was sure that at that point he MUST be ready. He wasn't. Then, at age 3, he was 100% ready. It was obvious. I trained him. He had ONE "accident" the first morning, then realized what had happened and didn't have any more. Ever. I know that's not the norm, even for a late trainer, but after that, I made sure my kids and I were both good and ready before training. Two of them trained closer to age 2 than 3. The others were around their third birthday, except for one (who had a LOT of anxiety and constipation and was a very challenging toddler in general) who I finally trained a couple of months after she turned three.

But when I train kids, they are TRAINED. I'm not hounding them constantly to go to the bathroom, I'm not yelling at them for having accidents all the time. They may have an occasional accident, usually because they were off schedule or sick or something, but after the first few days, or maximum week, they are DRY on their own. Reminders are only for before we go out somewhere, or before bedtime. Otherwise, they go when they feel they need to. I find that for a lot of kids who are "trained" earlier, the parents are trained. And the kids have lots of accidents. I'd rather wait, personally.

amother

Teal

Sun, Oct 06 2024, 4:09 pm

I’m in the same boat as in my dc will be 2 1/2 when I’m due. I think I’ll wait and see if he’s ready before. There are signs when a child’s ready to be trained. If he’s still clueless by then I’ll need to wait for after. It’ll be beneficial for both.

amother

↑ OP

Sun, Oct 06 2024, 4:14 pm

Dc is not showing any signs of readiness at all. I can’t wait till 3 as school starts in September and dc will be 3 sukkos time. I guess I’ll wait and see if I see any signs of readiness before I’m due and if not I’ll wait till after. Thank you everyone for responding, it gave me some ideas.