A goodness-focused approach - YK update

amother

OP ↓

Tue, Oct 01 2024, 11:10 pm

A collection of short thoughts on approaching the Yaim Noraim with recognition of Hashem's goodness.

I want to keep adding when I have a chance, I'll add another post.

Hashem judges the world not to see how he can punish us for what we're doing wrong, but to see what new opportunities there are to give us good. (Maharal Derech Chaim on Avos 3:15)

An aspect of Hashem's Rachamim is that he gives time for people to do Teshuva. (Mesilas Yeshorim Chapter 4) That doesn't just mean time to "wake up" and decide to reform. It means He is patient with us through the long road of growth, as we take one step at a time and still are not where we should be.

It's said from the Alter of Slobadka "Oy to a person who doesn't know his flaws, for he doesn't know what he needs to improve. But double Oy to the person who isn't aware of his strengths - for he isn't aware of the tools he has to work with to improve."
The Mesilas Yeshorim (Chapter 6) talks about how important it is to realize all the things you are doing right, so that you keep doing them and even do them more or better.
A mitzvah is more powerful than an avaira, so it can be a bigger victory for the Yetzer Hara to cause us to not focus on the good things we can do than make us do bad.

You don't need guilt to do Teshuva. Teshuva means to change. You can do Teshuva for things that aren't your fault as much as those that are. Sometimes there's a bigger place for realizing how sad it is that you've been doing this then feeling guilty and taking blame. (Mesilas Yeshorim Shaar HaChassidus Chapter 19)
That's what it means "והתוודו את חטאתם ואת חטאות אבותם" - as we frequently alude to, to "admit their mistakes and the mistakes of their parents." A person is not guilty for his parents mistakes, neither is he punished for them. But we all inherit behavior patterns from our parents, and it is our responsibility to fix them for ourselves and future generations.

Rosh Hashana is the day Hashem pays special attention to each of us. That's the meaning of Yom HaZikaron - God doesn't forget that He has to remember. Rather, the word zecher in Hebrew means to mention, to focus on, to pay attention to. Of course, that's kind of scary. It's always a little scary when the big boss or principal or teacher singles you out. But Hashem wants to give us good. In fact, we know He already wants to give us good before the day even starts.
And this is why, many places explain, we have festive meals on Rosh Hashana. We may be too nervous to sing Hallel, but we're still happy. We're happy because we know that, like I mentioned above in the name of the Maharal, Hashem is looking to give us good. We can eat and celebrate. We know He's on our side. As it says in Nechamia 8:10 about Rosh Hashana, ה' היא מעוזכם ואל תעצבו כי חדות. "Don't be sad, because the love/joy of Hashem is your strength." (I can't seem to get the words formatted in the right order in the Hebrew.)

amother

↑ OP ↓

Wed, Oct 02 2024, 3:22 pm

People who go through pain often struggle to understand themselves and their relationship with Hashem. Either we feel He doesn't love us because of the pain he puts us through, or if He loves us, we must be bad people and deserve all this pain.
These feelings compound whatever challenges we're already dealing with.

Our Torah teaches us that having a hard life doesn't mean we're bad people. (Moe's Kattan 28a) Some things are punishments but most things are not. Our challenges can come to us for other reasons that only Divine calculations can explain and understand. We may not be able to find the peace of understanding why these things happen, but we can let go of the burden of having to understand, or of alternatively accepting the blame. Hashem's wisdom and plan are beyond our capability as humans to understand. To say that we must be bad and getting punished is to simplify Hashem's complex wisdom.

Of course, on Rosh Hashanah we approach Hashem and ask for a year that is pleasant for us. We are responsible for our actions from the past year, but we can let go of responsibility for what happened to us this past year. And what will happen to us in the next year. Our job is to daven and do Teshuva. Hashem is the one who determines, with wisdom that surpasses our ability to understand, what is necessary for us as part of our place in the Divine plan.

A hard year doesn't mean we messed up last Rosh Hashana. And what happens this year is also going to depend on the Divine plan. We only need to do our best work for today.

amother

↑ OP

Fri, Oct 11 2024, 8:35 am

We fast because the Torah says, ועיניתם את נפשותיכם . Loosely translated, make yourselves uncomfortable.

And we also know that the discomfort of fasting is less sometimes than how uncomfortable it is to face our own flaws and focus on how we have to improve and the mistakes we made.

But if you don't face that discomfort, it's very hard to grow and improve and change.

So Hashem gives us the gift of Yom Kippur. It's still going to be uncomfortable. But He sets us up for success. We're doing this together, all of us. We can acknowledge that everybody has room for improvement, and we having flaws and weaknesses doesn't make us worse than anyone else. We can take responsibility for what we need to do without drowning in the shame of being alone.

It's a day when their is special S"D, Divine assistance. A day when even a few moments of self-reflection are worth more.

It's a day focused on Kapparah, which is the promise that sins can be healed. That as uncomfortable as it is to face what we do wrong, it's worth it because things will be better after we take responsibility. Acknowledging our mistakes doesn't make the problems stronger, it makes us stronger.

Hashem doesn't need us to tell Him what we did wrong. He has a better memory than any of us. But we need to be able to acknowledge it. And rather than telling us to acknowledge it in the privacy of our own shame, we are told to acknowledge it in front of Him and His love. It seems disrespectful in some ways. But it's going to help us, so that's what He asks us to do.

Like everything else God gives us, it's a gift. And the gift of a day when we are able to face the discomfort that we need to in order to improve, is considered one of the greatest days of all.

PinkFridge

Wed, Oct 16 2024, 8:38 am

amother OP wrote:

What an awesome thread this is. This post might be the most important ever on Imamother. Thank you!