I just want him to be happy

amother

OP ↓

Sun, Sep 29 2024, 12:50 am

My son is 6 yo, diagnosed adhd and on medication. School has always been a struggle and this year is so hard. I have seen so much negative change in him since the school year started. He is so sad, he is always crying, always upset at things. I want to cry all day for him. I am so lost and feel like I have failed him.

amother

↑ OP ↓

Sun, Sep 29 2024, 1:01 am

amother Ruby wrote:

Can you look around for other schooling options? this is clearly not working out for him. Do you want to say where you live and maybe people here will have an idea?

We are OOT. There really isn't another option.
I want to just pull him out and homeschool him, but thats a fantasy option.
We are meeting with the school tomorrow (literally the 4th or 5th meeting already). I think they will tell us he needs a shadow. I am just so heartbroken for my sweet boy.

amother

↑ Ruby

Sun, Sep 29 2024, 1:42 am

Can you describe a little more of what is going on? Maybe we can suggest something that may help?

Is the trouble that he can't sit still? that he is struggling with the other kids? that he is disturbing the lesson? that he doesn't understand what is going on?

amother

Phlox

Sun, Sep 29 2024, 3:15 am

Op, that is so hard and I'm sorry you are going through this. It's very painful to see our kids struggling
From personal experience though, it may be worth considering if this sadness etc is a side effect of his medication. Adderall made my child a withdrawn weepy mess. It was absolutely horrible! The rollercoaster of trial and error with medication can be brutal. It took several tries to find something that worked for my child as each responds differently. And fast forward a while to teenage years and the irritability and aggressiveness caused by a stimulant was too much and we had to make changes again. Bh we have a combination that is much better now.
Please discuss this with your provider. I hope you have someone knowledgeable of the different side effects and the pros/cons of stimulants vs non stimulants
I hope you find a smooth solution and your child can be happy and thrive. To give you hope, we had some very hard years but my teen is doing really well now

amother

↑ OP ↓

Sun, Sep 29 2024, 7:43 am

amother Ruby wrote:

A lot of emotional regulation issues, has trouble sitting and doing work, has trouble socially, feels like he can't do work, I could go on.

amother

↑ OP ↓

Sun, Sep 29 2024, 7:44 am

amother Daffodil wrote:

Can you reframe? You are his best friend in a world that is challenging for him. You're on his team, and you're going to get through this together.

He knows this and it is our attitude, but it is so so hard when I can't be there to help him and I see how much he is struggling.

amother

↑ OP ↓

Sun, Sep 29 2024, 7:46 am

amother Phlox wrote:

Interesting. He is not on a a stimulant (because of the SE we wanted to try non stimulant 1st). I will look into this.

amother

↑ OP ↓

Sun, Sep 29 2024, 7:47 am

the world's best mom wrote:

When did he start on his current medication? Is it possible the meds are causing the sadness? Maybe a different one would be better for him.

After purim last year, but we did up his dosage 3 weeks ago. It is very possible,but I am worried a stimulant will be worse for him.

amother

Ginger

Sun, Sep 29 2024, 7:49 am

Came to second the medication may not be the best one for him.
It's a known thing that each child reacts differently to the different types of medication for ADHD.
My DD 7 has been haven't ritalin la for 1.5 yrs and it's been great for her. my nephew and bil reacted terribly to it.
My nephew was probably 7 and told his parents it just makes him sad and want to cry all day. They changed to something else which worked amazing for him.
Please find out what other options the Dr can prescribe.

amother

Chartreuse

Sun, Sep 29 2024, 8:58 am

The medication might be making him sad- most of those medicines do that to my child. Would you consider leaving him back a grade. Less learning more play. Also a para might be able to tell you what’s really going on. Hatzlacha!!

amother

↑ OP ↓

Sun, Sep 29 2024, 9:00 am

amother Chartreuse wrote:

Thats what we wanted, but bh he is very smart and the school wanted him to stay in his grade. I do think he would be bored.

amother

Scarlet

Sun, Sep 29 2024, 9:39 am

I had two kids that kept crying on Ritalin and we had to try a few different types of medication until we found one that didn't make them cry. Please look into changing medications.

amother

Violet ↓

Sun, Sep 29 2024, 9:56 am

Look into changing medication. But know that medication will not change his behavior without counseling. The medication should make it possible for him to learn new skills and succeed. Also important to build him up out of the academic settings. A kid with low self esteem will get more frustrated trying. Make sure he has good social skills to have good friends, is well liked. Maybe he could learn a skill that he could show off in school. Like sports or gymnastics. Bonus it will let him release his energy.. His favorite part of the day could be recess. If you speak to his teachers and principal, make sure that he's not getting just negative attention. He should be made to feel good.

amother

↑ OP ↓

Sun, Sep 29 2024, 9:59 am

amother Violet wrote:

What kind of counceling?
He hates all sports. I have been trying to find something he will be interested in to do outside of school.

amother

↑ OP

Sun, Sep 29 2024, 10:01 am

amother Violet wrote:

Adding the obvious. Medication could affect his eating or sleeping habits. Is he getting enough sleep and nutrition? Either those could cause irritability.

Yes to both.