What age do boys start going to selichos?

amother

OP ↓

Sat, Sep 28 2024, 7:16 pm

Ds10 said "everyone" in his class is going and his rebbi is giving extra points to to kids who go. Talking about the midnight motzai shabbos one.

amother

Apple ↓

Sat, Sep 28 2024, 7:18 pm

Depends on his maturity. If my son wanted to go at 10 I allowed it.

amother

↑ OP ↓

Sat, Sep 28 2024, 7:20 pm

amother Apple wrote:

Depends on his maturity. If my son wanted to go at 10 I allowed it.

It's mature to want to go? I think he thinks it's just cool.

amother

Charcoal ↓

Sat, Sep 28 2024, 7:23 pm

amother OP wrote:

It's mature to want to go? I think he thinks it's just cool.

Why wouldn’t you allow it?

amother

↑ OP ↓

Sat, Sep 28 2024, 7:24 pm

amother Charcoal wrote:

Why wouldn’t you allow it?

Because he needs his sleep? I see no reason for a 10 year old to be up at 1am.

amother

DarkViolet

Sat, Sep 28 2024, 7:26 pm

amother OP wrote:

Because he needs his sleep? I see no reason for a 10 year old to be up at 1am.

And its one day that he won't get sleep. I would encourage it if he wants to.

amother

Currant

Sat, Sep 28 2024, 7:26 pm

I really dislike when rabbeim do things like this. It's a parents decision if a child should go. Lots of kids aren't able to stay up late and function properly the next day.
I didn't send my 11 year old, and I would be be upset if he lost out from a reward because of my judgment.

amother

Glitter

Sat, Sep 28 2024, 7:27 pm

Many yeshivas start late tomorrow. If my son wanted to go I would let. I don't stop my kids from doing things that I one day want them to do on their own. Who cares if he thinks it's cool...don't you always want him to think the mitvos are cool and do them with enthusiasm.

amother

↑ OP ↓

Sat, Sep 28 2024, 7:29 pm

amother Currant wrote:

I fully agree.

amother

↑ Charcoal ↓

Sat, Sep 28 2024, 7:35 pm

amother Glitter wrote:

Agree. Losing a few hours of sleep is nothing against a good chinuch opportunity! May he always think of mitzvos as “cool”!

amother

Sapphire

Sat, Sep 28 2024, 7:37 pm

My bar Mitzvah boy went for the first time and they went to a 10:30 minyan. He can't keep his eyes open for a later one and get up tomorrow and act normal.

amother

↑ Apple

Sat, Sep 28 2024, 7:49 pm

amother OP wrote:

It's mature to want to go? I think he thinks it's just cool.

Still. All he's asking for is to go to shul for selichos. May this be his idea of cool for the rest of his life. Yes, I allowed my son's to go at that age if they wanted to.

amother

Catmint ↓

Sat, Sep 28 2024, 7:50 pm

amother OP wrote:

Because he needs his sleep? I see no reason for a 10 year old to be up at 1am.

He'll get his sleep a different night. It's so common & normal for a 10 year old to go to selichos. Please don't make a big deal out of it. Let him go if he wants to.
If you're going to want him to want to go when he has to, you have to allow him to go now.

amother

Nectarine ↓

Sat, Sep 28 2024, 7:51 pm

my 10yr old is going this year for the first time. he asked me this afternoon and I said if he naps he can go. selichos at 1am and it's not local so travel time back.
it's hard when you don't know if the kid really wants it or just wants the reward or cool-factor.

amother

↑ Charcoal

Sat, Sep 28 2024, 7:59 pm

amother Nectarine wrote:

What difference does the reasoning make? He’s not asking for brand name sneakers

amother

↑ Nectarine

Sat, Sep 28 2024, 8:00 pm

amother Charcoal wrote:

What difference does the reasoning make? He’s not asking for brand name sneakers

it makes a difference because mom knows he needs his sleep and if he's going for other reasons it's hard to justify the late late night.
I'd still let my 10 yr old go, but I do understand her dilemma.

amother

Coffee

Sat, Sep 28 2024, 8:05 pm

My 10 year old is going for the first time even though his older brother started at 12. He went to sleep at 9 and dh will wake him up. He’s a kid that loves going to minyan and started staying in shul from a young age so this wasn’t something I wanted to take away from him and this way hopefully he won’t be too exhausted tomorrow.

amother

↑ Catmint ↓

Sat, Sep 28 2024, 8:08 pm

amother Nectarine wrote:

Mom's should also know that most likely nothing will happen if they go to sleep ultra
late one night. This really isn't something a parent shouldn't allow their son to do, unless there's a real good reason for not allowing it.