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Forum
-> Parenting our children
-> Teenagers and Older children
amother
Dodgerblue
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Fri, Sep 27 2024, 12:37 am
Write her a note back. She's handling this better than many adults do. How many fully grown women throw out obnoxious comments like that when they're frustrated and can't bring themselves to apologize?
You raised your daughter well. She's mature, she takes ownership, she found a way to do something that is so deeply uncomfortable.
Write her a note back that you appreciate her apology, you understand she must have been frustrated and you hope that you'll be able to coordinate picking up the dress before YT. And give her a hug, you both deserve it.
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amother
Hunter
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Fri, Sep 27 2024, 1:17 am
I agree with previous poster who said to write a note back. That’s what I would do. She sounds like a great kid who is usually respectful but just had a moment, and she realizes her mistake and did the right thing by apologizing. I definitely wouldn’t punish her. I would write a note back saying thank you for the apology note, that it was very appreciated and that you love her and are proud of her for writing it etc…
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amother
Floralwhite
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Fri, Sep 27 2024, 3:49 am
A teenager should be cleaning her own room.
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Chayalle
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Fri, Sep 27 2024, 8:44 am
Dina Friedman says that after a child has been disciplined (like your teen was, when your DH told her she must apologize) it's very important to help them move on and show you still love her, accept her, etc....
So it's important today to speak to her normally, show her that you can move on from this.
I also do think it sounds like she can take more responsibility for her room. There's no reason for you to straighten up after a teen. She should be doing that.
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amother
Outerspace
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Fri, Sep 27 2024, 9:19 am
amother OP wrote: | It was first time. Shes not usually chutzpedik but this was beyond anything I would’ve expected from her. She’s usually very mature and normal. |
She may have had a rough day in school & had an outburst at home. Just let it go without making a big deal out of it. Especially if it's out if character for. We need to put our ego aside when dealing with our teens & tread carefully & try not to create a power struggle over things.
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amother
Jasmine
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Fri, Sep 27 2024, 3:53 pm
Always be on the lookout for PMS! Some girls can have it very severely and will need help to learn to manage their diet (healthy, no sugar etc) and sleep to keep themselves on an even keel.
Something to consider any time you see a change in a teenage girl! And it doesn't necessarily happen the first year either (speaking from experience...)
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amother
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Yesterday at 9:23 pm
amother Gladiolus wrote: | Yes
Definitely
I would save some cleaning for her. On top of not going shopping |
Do you have teens? Cuz that's really NOT the way to handle teens. At least not if you want to have a good relationship with them.
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amother
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Yesterday at 9:25 pm
amother Outerspace wrote: | She may have had a rough day in school & had an outburst at home. Just let it go without making a big deal out of it. Especially if it's out if character for. We need to put our ego aside when dealing with our teens & tread carefully & try not to create a power struggle over things. |
yes. This is SO key with raising teens.
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amother
Cornsilk
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Yesterday at 9:27 pm
I want to add that my high school girls do their own laundry. (Not as a punishment but to learn responsibility)
If she apologizes, accept it and move on
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amother
NeonPurple
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Yesterday at 10:53 pm
I think you should have tried to talk to her yourself instead of sending your dh to make her apologize.
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giftedmom
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Yesterday at 11:19 pm
Personally, I would never have answered that first question/accusation. I don’t feed attitude or excuse myself to my kids. But I also wouldn’t bear a grudge or make a big deal. When they’re ready to talk nicely we can have a conversation.
That said, she sounds like a mature young lady in the way she apologized and owned up. You should be proud of her.
God knows many of us don’t speak perfectly when we’re stressed and hormonal.
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