S/o what changed since the 80’s that makes life so expensive

Librarian

Fri, Sep 27 2024, 9:50 am

amother Tanzanite wrote:

except you can’t even get a full synthetic for $200 now (I’ve tried), and it won’t last more than a year or two, while my $2k sheitel is going strong 5 years later. and a jalopy that passes state inspection is at least 5k. Prices have risen. I can’t send my kids sandwiches for lunch for $1 because a loaf of bread is already $5. Even cheese is a fortune!

Maybe in Lakewood but not in Bklyn where I grew up. I am married 35 years. My friends and I all got "custom" sheitles - when we got married. I got a Georgie for $2000 and a Mrs. Paskez for $1500. And a "cheap" human hair pony for about $500. Someone else can adjust that for inflation. The difference is my wigs lasted 10 years. The styles did not change every other year like they do now. My shabbos shoes cost $100 (remember Amalfi?) I had a few in different colors. Also lasted forever.
Diapers are actually cheaper now than they were when I was a young mother even without adjusting for inflation. Standard of living was lower. Growing up in the 70s-80s A "gvir" owned ONE nursing home and drove a Lincoln Town Car. Homes were smaller. We all went to the Bungalow Colony - but they were really bungalows and the pools were not heated. Most mothers did not work. The food served at home on Shabbos and the food at Simchos were much more simple.

amother

Indigo ↓

Fri, Sep 27 2024, 9:56 am

amother OP wrote:

My main point seems to have been lost on most people. As a community we have shifted to being much more “farfrumpt” and we waste money on “necessities” that have nothing to do with Halacha.

I don't see the money going to frumkeit that much unless you mean tuition & kosher food. My family struggled mightily in the 80's.

Housing & food costs are huge for most people frum or secular.

We like to romanticize about the past but truth is many people struggled financially back then too.

amother

↑ Indigo

Fri, Sep 27 2024, 10:03 am

amother Cobalt wrote:

What community are you talking about? I don’t know anyone except very wealthy business owners with a summer home.

We make choices as to whether we partake in these norms. I don’t partake in any of these except for having a real hair wig, and I’m the norm in Lakewood.

This. We are in town well to do bh but we don't do most of that.

amother

↑ Starflower ↓

Fri, Sep 27 2024, 10:17 am

amother Cantaloupe wrote:

I don’t see from the 80s to today life is so crazy expensive.

(As the Sheitel example given. I’m still buying sheitels today the similar price I paid 20 years go as a kallah. Most of my peers are not buying the expensive sheitels. The increase in price is much lower then the salary increases that have happened the past 20 years).

However what I am feeling is the yearly increases now.
Like last year to this year basics - not extras - have jumped like crazy. Meat, chicken, basic ingredients, produce, clothing, gas, babysitting. Everything has jumped over the past 1,2,3 years tremendously. That is hurting me. Not the living on a higher level of gashmius. We live so simple and make large salaries. But the every day purchases have jumped so suddenly. I track a lot of things snd I’m seeing the increase so clearly.

This. Everything adds up. $1 more on each grocery item is huge.

amother

↑ Starflower

Fri, Sep 27 2024, 10:19 am

In the 90s my father made $80,000. My mother didn’t work. We were not scraping by and we lived very frugally (think not running a/c in summer because couldn’t pay). My father was very against having debt. But it wasn’t any easier then.

Orangehead

Fri, Sep 27 2024, 10:48 am

When is was a kid a bag of herrs chips was 20 cents. Now it’s 79 cents with half the amount of chips in the bag.
That’s a huge jump and that’s just the chips!!!!!

amother

Nutmeg

Fri, Sep 27 2024, 11:11 am

amother Indigo wrote:

Yes, I don't think it was easier then. People talk about expensive car leases nowadays but I don't think leases were an option back then. So people drove old clunkers that were always on the verge of breaking down, and that was a huge stress.

↑ Fox

Fri, Sep 27 2024, 12:11 pm

Everybody is right about the standard of living going up, and it's easy to tsk-tsk about it. But it's a much more nuanced problem than designer socks.

One example is travel.

Before the mid-80s, when airfares were deregulated, flying anywhere was very expensive. It wasn't practical for even a medium-sized family. A financially-comfortable couple might go for a long weekend to Miami, but anything much more would be a once-in-a-lifetime experience.

Not only did airfares come down in the late 80s, credit card companies began working with airlines to give "miles" that could be redeemed. For those of you my age who'll get the reference, this was like S & H Green Stamps on steroids.

Suddenly travel to far-flung places was easily within the reach of comfortable families and even possible for the not-so-comfortable, with a little planning. At the height of the credit card miles craze, I knew tons of people who put every purchase, no matter how small, on a credit card that they paid off within the month -- or within whatever time frame earned the most miles. Suddenly, people were taking their entire families to Europe for free -- kind of.

So now frequent travel is the norm. But some of us say, "Well, I'm certainly not jetting off to Amsterdam!"

True, but look how we've all changed our expectations.

Before deregulation, etc., attending a simcha far away was often not realistic. In fact, that was one of the reasons people were reluctant to move "OOT" -- you were committing yourself to missing a lot of simchas and family events in the future. Yes, grandparents and perhaps a close aunt or uncle would make the trek, but cousins? Almost never. Family living in EY? Very, very rarely.

Now, we simply expect people to travel for our simchas. Look at all the threads about people who are upset because someone didn't fly in for a chassunah or bar mitzvah. And after I went to all her simchas! We even invite far-flung friends on the off-chance that they'll "find a good ticket."

So who's fault is all this? Everybody's. Now, it's no longer enough to go to a local museum during a vacation; everybody is going to Florida. It's no longer okay for people to wish the baal simcha a hearty mazel tov; everybody flies to wherever their best friend from high school is getting married.

So is all this a bad thing or a good thing? Yes. On one hand, we've normalized a practice that ends up costing us a lot of money. On the other hand, we're present for one another's simcha and grief. It's not such a clear calculation as designer socks.

amother

Rose

Fri, Sep 27 2024, 12:52 pm

Lady A wrote:

I think many people are missing the point.
Why are we driving up the gashmius standards?
Why are we insisting, as a community, that certain things are a must and everyone has to have them?
Inflation is real, I get that. But the standards of fancy clothing for children, teens, and the like is not realistic or even healthy.
I realize this is not EVERYWHERE , but many communities have significant peer pressure and it’s driving parents mad.

Clothing is a trivial expense

Family of 5 young kids. Living in cheap rental renta. Old cars. No car payments. Living simply.

Our cost of living- taxes insurance , tuition, food etc is 100k. (145 before taxes)

Spending 1-2 or 3k a year on clothing is not the deal breaker.

Taxes, insurance, tuition and housing are

amother

↑ Burntblack

Fri, Sep 27 2024, 2:55 pm

amother Starflower wrote:

This. Everything adds up. $1 more on each grocery item is huge.

Right! I think the title is wrong. It shouldn't be "why is everything more expensive than the 80's", it should be "why is everything more expensive since 2019".

Some things really went up 100% in four years. My grocery bill has literally doubled and it's not just that my family is older/bigger. It's nuts.

amother

DarkGreen

Fri, Sep 27 2024, 3:07 pm

My father was making 80-100k in the nineties.

Dh’s salary is 110k now.

My kids’ tuition is double what mine was. Clubs on Sundays were included in my school tuition growing up. No longer.

Food has gone up an insane amount. Cost of cars as well. Housing. Day camp cost. Clothing cost.

My dh is making about 10-30k more than what my father was making but prices have risen 50% or more.

max

Sat, Sep 28 2024, 6:41 pm

I was born in 1961 my mom told me that the doctor’s fees for the delivery was $75.00 which was a fortune of money as it was the equivalent of their monthly rent and a whole week’s pay. In those days not everyone had medical insurance and fees were much more reasonable!!

amother

Bottlebrush

Sat, Sep 28 2024, 6:45 pm

amother Starflower wrote:

Adjusted for inflation his salary was $193,000

mirelcakes

Sat, Sep 28 2024, 6:59 pm

out-of-towner wrote:

Clothing and furniture might have been more expensive, but to be fair they did last longer.

I have a beautiful jacket from a great grandparent that I didn't know (I'm a child of the 90s) that is in pristine condition decades later. That wouldn't happen nowdays.

Absolutely true! Things are not made to last these days