What do you put on dd's shidduch resume?

Ruchel ↓

Fri, Sep 20 2024, 1:37 pm

Look at what local others do.

Some include siblings, grandparents

Locally never saw this as a previously shadchanit

amother

Ghostwhite

Fri, Sep 20 2024, 1:48 pm

It depends on which circles you are in. Some people put a short bio, some people don’t. Some do siblings and where they are in school/work…
Generally, you want to include parents with occupation, family rav contact, family references, and personal references.

↑ Ruchel ↓

Fri, Sep 20 2024, 2:08 pm

mommyhood wrote:

This has a good sample and details
https://betweencarpools.com/fr.....sume/

Mechutanim?? Where does it stop

cutewife

Fri, Sep 20 2024, 3:14 pm

amother Lily wrote:

Why is that so strange?

It's so helpful to gave Mechutanim
Generally it's the name and mm/yy
Address,siblings and ages, occupation, shul and Rav, fam references friends and some personal references and

pinkpeonies

Fri, Sep 20 2024, 3:20 pm

Ruchel wrote:

Mechutanim?? Where does it stop

What? Why is this something crazy?

A standard resume includes
Name
Bday
Height
Address

Parents names
Shul/rav

Siblings- age, spouses name, occupation/school

Mechutanim- name, location, phone number

Family references- name, phone number, how you are connected

Personal references- name, phone number, how you are are connected TMI

amother

Maple ↓

Fri, Sep 20 2024, 5:38 pm

I found it extremely helpful to list mechutanim.
You usually know your mechutanim very well. You know how generous or stingy they will be with your children. How easy it was to prepare the wedding...
The one time it wasn't listed I thought it was a red flag and when I asked I only got one number instead of 2.
A few months later found out they were not on speaking term!!

amother

↑ Maple

Fri, Sep 20 2024, 5:43 pm

pinkpeonies wrote:

This! Some ppl also include grandparents' name.
Keep in mind that the more phone numbers you include, the easier it will be for the other side to make inquiries! Which is the goal of a resume.
There's also more chances that there's ppl you know in common.
For my dd, we wrote 3 of her fiends, 2 teachers that she keeps in touch with, 2 family references and all our mechutanim.

amother

Marigold

Sat, Sep 21 2024, 10:08 pm

Ruchel wrote:

Mechutanim?? Where does it stop

My shidduch came thru mechutanim! It’s a good idea!

↑ Ruchel ↓

Sun, Sep 22 2024, 6:38 am

You won't deal with mechutanim. They are the in-laws of a sibling. Whether they are good or not. It's like inquiring into the person's uncle and aunt. In all my years no one that remember asked me who are the parents of the spouses of the siblings.

amother

Glitter

Sun, Sep 22 2024, 6:45 am

In Israeli charedi circles, including Anglo expats, it is standard to list mechutanim and a red flag if not listed.

I have seen some people include extras, like a short list of descriptive qualities or what the person is looking for. When I see that, it's a sign that they're not completely in the box. Could be fine, it's just what it means.

amother

↑ OP

Sun, Sep 22 2024, 7:46 am

I don't have machatunim. This is my first dd in shidduchim. I listed her siblings names, ages and school, so they can see none of them are married.

amother

Canary

Sun, Sep 22 2024, 7:52 am

Name
DOB
Height
Address

Parents:
Father's name, occupation
Mother's name, occupation

Grandparents:
Paternal, location
Maternal, location

Shul:
Name of Shul, Rabbi's name, Rabbi's number

Siblings:
List siblings, age, school

Mechutanim:
List mechutanim's first and last names, location

References:
2-3 family references with numbers (helpful to write how you know them)
2-3 friend/authority references of the child in question with phone nubmers

All this info helps potential matches place you on the map.
In my experience, people don't call those on the resume unless they know them.
But they'll call people who know people on the resume.
That's why the more names, locations, etc... you can get on there, the better.

Hatzlacha!

amother

Hotpink

Sun, Sep 22 2024, 8:10 am

Ruchel wrote:

The mechutanim are usually meant as references.
Also, sometimes people look for someone they recognize or know of on the resume and this creates more possibilities.

↑ Ruchel

Sun, Sep 22 2024, 8:41 am

Oh, as reference? Sure, anyone can be a ref. It's just that I wouldn't davka think there's an interest in who the parents of the siblings spouses are. Ime

amother

Seablue

Sun, Sep 22 2024, 9:03 am

I'm a shadchan and in my world if there is no paragraph, there is no point to a resume. They all look exactly the same. Especially if there is no picture.

Rubber Ducky

Sun, Sep 22 2024, 9:25 am

A paragraph about the girl/boy and about what s/he is looking for is extremely helpful. Unfortunately. most people do not include one.

As a rule we do do not do pictures, but a shadchan may want one.