Army issues | Imamother

amother

OP ↓

Tue, Sep 17 2024, 1:41 am

I’m American and my husband is American Israeli. Weve been living in Israel for two years. In the past my husband got a dichui (delay) from the army but not an exemption. Now the dichui is up and they drafted him! He is supposed to show up to the army in a few weeks. We are supposed to go to America for succos in a month. If we leave we can’t come back. If we stay we can’t leave until this is cleared up which can take months. I’ve been looking forward to going home for months and I don’t know what I’ll do if we can’t go! But I also don’t want to get stuck there! My husband got advised to get trained to act crazy and take a pill that will make him act anxious before he goes to the draft so they’ll exempt him ( his friend did that) but he doesn’t really want to do that. He asked his rebbi what to do and he said he’s going to ask a shaila if we should stay and try to fight it or move back before his draft date. It’s funny cuz I wanted to move back last year but I just got comfortable here and I’m not ready to move back yet especially so suddenly! Plus my husband’s family is here and If we leave we won’t be able to come back for a few years 😢 I don’t know what I want right now lol just venting. Anyone have experience with this?

amother

Plum

Tue, Sep 17 2024, 1:52 am

This is a valid question...

but to ask it is in such poor taste right now, and so incredibly tactless and tone-deaf, that I really think it encapsulates the disgust and despair and utter bewilderment that much of the country is feeling towards charedim right now.

Please consider deleting, OP. I don't think you realize how a question like this is going to land on families who loved ones have spent most ofthe past year fighting a desperate war.

amother

Bergamot

Tue, Sep 17 2024, 2:00 am

It is very complicated.
My friend had to fly to her home country herself to give birth because her Israeli dh needed to stay in Israel to sort out his permission to leave the country papers.
She’s still tramaitized.

The whole thing is complicated with no easy answers.
We need moshiach.

amother

↑ OP ↓

Tue, Sep 17 2024, 2:10 am

I also have close family members who have been fighting in Gaza since the war began. I don’t mean to bring up any bad feelings from anyone. Of course I admire and respect and daven for all our soldiers who are risking their lives and dying to protect us! But the reality is that my husband in our circumstances is not willing or able to go to the army. And I don’t want him to lie to avoid the draft. So our options are to stay and try get an exemption or move back to America. I was just trying to see if anyone has been in a similar situation. I’m sorry if it’s coming off as insensitive to anyone who has family in the army.

amother

Electricblue ↓

Tue, Sep 17 2024, 2:22 am

amother OP wrote:

Ok so since you put it this way, I think your best option is to move back to America. If he's legally required to go to the army and it's not something he's willing to do, then you should leave. For one thing, because staying and trying to get an exemption is less likely to be successful. For another thing, I think it's more yashar. However, full disclosure, I am not charedi and don't agree with draft avoidance in general.

Jewishmom8 ↓

Tue, Sep 17 2024, 3:22 am

amother OP wrote:

speak to vaad hayeshivot
and from now on be on top of it. there is a system in place for people who are learning instead of the army.
is that your husband?

amother

↑ Chocolate ↓

Tue, Sep 17 2024, 3:27 am

Jewishmom8 wrote:

speak to vaad hayeshivot
and from now on be on top of it. there is a system in place for people who are learning instead of the army.
is that your husband?

This isn't anymore.
They are in the process of stopping learning from being an exemption.
It's very complicated for anyone learning who is under the age of exemption.

↑ Jewishmom8

Tue, Sep 17 2024, 3:29 am

amother Chocolate wrote:

This isn't anymore.
They are in the process of stopping learning from being an exemption.
It's very complicated for anyone learning who is under the age of exemption.

there are instructions that every yeshiva and community gives out.
people who are learning are not being drafted and will not go the army and are all listening to the instructions from the vaad hayeshivos.
you are not correct.

amother

↑ Electricblue ↓

Tue, Sep 17 2024, 3:30 am

Ruchi wrote:

Are ppl not getting exemptions? What about those who are acting crazy?

Obviously if a person has a reason to be exempt they will receive an exemption. There are people with real physical or emotional issues, who can not serve. They will get an exemption.

Do people really think it's yashar to falsely claim to have mental health issues, as a way of avoiding the draft? That would bother me on so many levels!

amother

↑ Electricblue ↓

Tue, Sep 17 2024, 3:33 am

amother Chocolate wrote:

The only way to be exempt is if medically you aren't fit for any army positions (not only fighting)

That can't be true. Real debilitating mental or emotional issues will also lead to an exemption.

amother

↑ Chocolate ↓

Tue, Sep 17 2024, 3:34 am

Jewishmom8 wrote:

The vaad are pushing it off and trying to avoid it but if you leave the country to return in a month and really are supposed to report to the army I don't think there is much they can do...
Op already knows if she stays here she is ok for a while

amother

↑ Chocolate ↓

Tue, Sep 17 2024, 3:36 am

amother Electricblue wrote:

That can't be true. Real debilitating mental or emotional issues will also lead to an exemption.

Mental and emotional are medical exemptions
Someone depressed or with depression history isn't exempt they just can't be a fighter and will have to be a kitchen staff or something similar.
My family member has this....

ETA obviously level is determined by drs...

DrMom

Tue, Sep 17 2024, 3:44 am

amother Electricblue wrote:

Do people really think it's yashar to falsely claim to have mental health issues, as a way of avoiding the draft? That would bother me on so many levels!

That a frum person would even consider such a thing is such a chilul Hashem.

OP, can you visit your family abroad on your own this year?

I agree that your post comes off as really tone-deaf. There are thousands upon thousands of men serving and no, it is not always convenient for them or their families. There are support networks and resources available for such families. Perhaps this is something you should explore.

amother

↑ Electricblue ↓

Tue, Sep 17 2024, 3:45 am

amother Chocolate wrote:

Ok 100%. I read your previous post as saying that it's only physical disabilities that lead to exemptions. Obviously that couldn't be true so I wanted to clarify.

Regardless of whether the diagnosis is mental or physical, the level of severity can either lead to a non-combat role, or an exemption.

↑ Ruchi ↓

Tue, Sep 17 2024, 3:50 am

DrMom wrote:

I think that besides Israel, only one other country in the world has mandatory army conscription. I am not talking about the current war situation.