Did you sleep train?

amother

↑ Aubergine ↓

Fri, Sep 13 2024, 7:17 am

amother Lemonchiffon wrote:

I think many people who don't sleep trained are privileged in the sense that they don't NEED to. Many are sahm, or women who work very part time, have cleaning help or other help/lots of support. For a mom that works full time and has no help it is pretty impossible for her to function on no sleep too. So make all the judgements you want, but everyone does what they need to do. And not all sleep training is cruel and traumatic. Teaching a baby healthy sleeping habits is not abusive if it's done the right way.

This.
People who talk about sleep shaping or bathing and swaddling, have no idea that there are some babies that just don't want to swaddle or don't get tired that way or even if they could put themselves to sleep initially, still automatically wake up after 3 hours!
And when your pediatrician tells you that your baby does not need to be eating in middle of the night and chances are that the eating in the middle of the night is affecting the amount he's eating during the day and it will be better to get all those calories during the daytime hours, you don't have any choice other than to train.

amother

↑ DarkOrange ↓

Fri, Sep 13 2024, 8:39 am

amother Aubergine wrote:

You have choices, and don’t need to train. There is nothing wrong with a baby receiving some calories at night and that dynamic doesn’t force a mother to train their baby.

If a mother is desperate for sleep then she should train gently by following the No Cry Sleep Solution. Doing CIO or Ferber is cruel and heartless to baby.

amother

↑ Impatiens

Fri, Sep 13 2024, 9:12 am

corolla wrote:

Ok, nobody answered OP's second question, which I also happen to be interested in:

if you didn't sleep train, at what point did your baby start sleeping through the night.

I did, generally by six months, some earlier. And I do recognize that I'm fortunate and other babies are different. I can't imagine sleep training, but then again, I also can't imagine being chronically sleep deprived. Like someone said upthread, if a mother does something with the child's best interest in mind, they'll most likely turn out fine.

amother

Waterlily

Fri, Sep 13 2024, 9:38 am

There are a few points here…
First of all, I wean my kids off night feeds before considering sleep training. So that means waiting until that age. I also start solids young (both things according to my pediatrician), so that helps. I move them out of my room as well. Once those two things are done it’s a lot easier to get them to sleep at a specific time each night, and for that I did the minimum amount of Ferber, but more gentle. BH at that point it didn’t take too much, they just needed a little push. BH my kids so far are great sleepers, and I think it has to do with how strict we are about the schedule when they are young- We put them to bed on time so that they have 12 hours. From when they are a few months old. Obviously each kid is a little different, some wake up earlier than others etc.

↑ baked ziti

Fri, Sep 13 2024, 11:20 am

As I mentioned up thread, I don't sleep train. My kids usually start "sleeping through the night" after I wean at around 2, 2.5 years. I put that into quotation marks because it's not unusual for young kids to wake up once a night for reassurance or water. My kids usually phase that out starting at 3 and stop by 4 or 5.

amother

↑ Raspberry

Fri, Sep 13 2024, 11:32 am

amother Raspberry wrote:

I used CIO and the longest they cried was 12 min. That's the same amount they would cry if I took a shower while they were up. Do I also have to give a din vcheshbon for taking a shower?

You start at 2 min, go up to 5, etc. Babies were taught to self soothe within 3 days.

Adding that only did this with the ones who didn't sleep after 7 months.

amother

↑ Aubergine ↓

Fri, Sep 13 2024, 11:32 am

amother Waterlily wrote:

So, I put my kids to sleep at a bedtime from newborn. (at that point I feed them anytime they wake up as long as it's more than 2 hours). They hv a real schedule with sleeping. I know their tired cues. They nap.

But 1 kid refused to sleep at night. Even when I moved them out. Even when they were on real solids. Etc etc. Not only that, they kept regressing, meaning when I was more flexible at night and they woke up after two and a half hours & were taken out, & wouldn't go back in without nursing when they were already 6 months and eating solids for a while, the next night they woke up after one and a half hours. And boy was this kid cranky during the day obviously because of lack of a proper full sleep at night.

It was either let this child cio with going in to soothe, every 10-15 min, or continue like this.

Which is why I've said before that ur method needs to be individualized for every situation and every child.

the world's best mom ↓

Fri, Sep 13 2024, 12:51 pm

I do not sleep train and I do not sleep much. I guess Hashem knew that I don't sleep train so He decided to give me the horrible sleepers who needed a more gentle approach like nursing 25 times a night.

I also hold my 20 month old for much of her naptime, because she wakes up every time I put her down and goes back to sleep on my shoulder. But since she turned a year old she will often sleep in bed for half an hour or so before moving back to my shoulder. I have never had a kid like this and it's not easy but it's the only thing that works for her. I will not let her cry in the crib, and not only because she holds her breath and passes out. I just don't do that, even for the kids who know how to breathe and cry at the same time.

By 2 or 3 years old, my kids sleep better but wake up once a night to come into my bed or dh's bed. They do that for a few more years. Each kid stops when they are ready. Age varies.

amother

Electricblue

Fri, Sep 13 2024, 12:58 pm

I sleep trained one and not the other (yet).

My first was sleeping through the night but once she hit 8-9 months if there was someone in the room with her, she thought it was play time. So we moved her to her own room and sleep trained. I forget what the method was but it’s the one where you go in after 2 min and comfort, then 5, then so on.

My second is still in our room at 15 months and just started to stand in the pack n play so I think his transition will come soon. He likes being rocked to sleep though, and sleeps through the night, so I don’t know if we’ll have to sleep train him.

amother

↑ DarkOrange

Fri, Sep 13 2024, 1:00 pm

the world's best mom wrote:

You are worlds best mom.

↑ michimochi ↓

Sun, Sep 15 2024, 12:01 am

No sleep training, baby slept "through the night" (6 straight hours) by 2 months. An illness a few months later threw that down the drain though, ever since then baby wakes multiple times during the night again.

I do work full time out of the house. The cosleeping and breastfeeding help. Since I don't have to get up fully when baby wakes, just open pajama front, I get a decent amount of sleep BH.

amother

Chocolate ↓

Sun, Sep 15 2024, 12:31 am

I followed the 12 hours by 12 weeks methodology, loosely and not by 12 weeks. I waited til about 4 months to even start working on their feeding schedule, and slowly cut down on night feedings and upped day feedings. I would follow a soothing nighttime routine, put them in awake but sleepy, and went in every 5 minutes to calm them down if they were crying. I found it was typically 3 nights max before they were trained, and the first night was the worst, and even their worst was max 45 min, with me going in every 5 min.

While those 3 nights were not fun, overall it was the best thing for me, the baby, the rest of the family, and my shalom bayis. Otherwise sleep deprivation makes me cranky and irritable, with zero patience for the rest of the family, and incredibly resentful at my innocent baby. This was the healthiest choice for our family, my kids have all learned to sleep beautifully through the night, for the most part if they wake up at night it's either to give one kvetch and then fall back asleep or it's because of something real (pain, sickness, bad dream) and when we resolve it they go nicely back to sleep again. 3 days of some crying vs years of great sleep, I call that a great deal.

NotFunny ↓

Sun, Sep 15 2024, 12:32 am

the world's best mom wrote:

Hi soul sister!
Our babies/kids should be friends!

↑ NotFunny ↓

Sun, Sep 15 2024, 12:36 am

amother Aubergine wrote:

But about about the kid that gets a ton of calories during the day, and still needs feeding every 2 hours on the button 24/7? We’re talking supplementing solids and formula in case you think mommy’s milk is not enough.

Resisted swaddling since about a month old and since baby transitioned out of the bassinet and rocking to sleep, it’s an impossible cycle to get baby to sleep after each feeding at night (forget about trying to skip a feed…) baby is close to year old and I’ve already tried sleep training and failed…

I wonder if it’s harder for very active babies to settle down? Baby pulled to stand since 7 months and so for about 2 months or so, baby was even halfway up/sleeping and already standing. So we had to redirect baby to laying position. Even once baby learned to get back down- baby likes jumping and walking around or just standing and crying and will generally not go back down on own.

The other thing, because this baby is so so active- I think baby just needs to eat a ton as it’s burning calories so fast. Anyone else saw this? Because this baby seems famished after just like 2-2 1/2 hour between feedings.

↑ michimochi ↓

Sun, Sep 15 2024, 10:43 pm

NotFunny wrote:

Mine is like this actually!! Almost every detail: very active, pulled to stand early, needs to eat every 2hrs, and sits straight up when she wakes up at night. More protein and more waterr during the day helped, also moving bedtime.