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Forum -> Chinuch, Education & Schooling

Daycare issue

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amother

↑ OP ↓

Wed, Sep 11 2024, 7:30 pm

amother Nemesia wrote:

Check out Dr Erica Komisar. If you can keep her home with you until the age of 3, do it. She needs her mother not social interaction. Children don’t benefit from that at this age it’s a myth that society pushes to lessen the blow of sending out babies. She’s sad bc you’re her whole world and you suddenly disappeared.

\

shes very sticky at home, I really do need a few hours break
dh says that its healthy if she learns to let go a bit and I should push it

amother

Charcoal

Wed, Sep 11 2024, 7:32 pm

amother OP wrote:

\

shes very sticky at home, I really do need a few hours break
dh says that its healthy if she learns to let go a bit and I should push it

Can you make a round robin?

amother

NeonYellow ↓

Wed, Sep 11 2024, 7:33 pm

So why don't you keep her home? I do that age and I keep them occupied, but usually the 1st week is difficult because we are getting everyone used to the schedule and just being in daycare. More stimulation comes with time. Also crying the 1st week is very normal. Did you ask them what kind of activities they do? Do they go outside to play?

amother

↑ OP ↓

Wed, Sep 11 2024, 7:33 pm

amother Milk wrote:

I don’t get it

You ‘sent her out’ for stimulation

But according to your narrative she’s not being stimulated

You said you ‘overstimulate’ at home

She was happy at home

She’s having a hard adjustment maybe even under stimulated and bored

You’re not working

I don’t get why she’s in daycare if in your own words you can provide for her needs better at home

because she is super curious= super clingy. she needs to watch and help me do everything!
keeps me on my toes.....
on my hands all day sometimes even in a baby carrier! yes at this age! she loves to see my cook and fold and clean, I need my hands free so I carry her
but really she needs to wean off of all this

amother

↑ NeonYellow ↓

Wed, Sep 11 2024, 7:34 pm

amother OP wrote:

My 18 mo is also like this. Its normal....

amother

↑ Milk

Wed, Sep 11 2024, 7:36 pm

amother OP wrote:

You can wean her off without sending her to daycare

Again I say this as a mom who loves daycare. I think it’s the best thing ever

But you’re home, she’s not even 2 and not enjoying it .

amother

↑ OP ↓

Wed, Sep 11 2024, 7:37 pm

amother NeonYellow wrote:

My 18 mo is also like this. Its normal....

keeping her home is not an option if I want to stay sane
she doesnt give me one second to breathe
its just that feeling... I feel bad...
but I guess shell adjust
iyh
well daven harder

amother

↑ Lightcoral

Wed, Sep 11 2024, 7:37 pm

Maybe you can get another 1-2 babies to come to your house for more social stimulation. You could hire a babysitter or some cleaning help to help you get everything done.

amother

↑ NeonYellow ↓

Wed, Sep 11 2024, 7:39 pm

amother OP wrote:

keeping her home is not an option if I want to stay sane
she doesnt give me one second to breathe
its just that feeling... I feel bad...
but I guess shell adjust
iyh
well daven harder

Give it time. The first week is the hardest.

amother

Babypink

Wed, Sep 11 2024, 7:40 pm

I really think it's the separation that is making her cry.

Since you need a break (I totally get it), maybe send her out for half a day? You get to breathe, without her having 6-7 hours separation.

amother

↑ OP ↓

Wed, Sep 11 2024, 7:40 pm

amother NeonYellow wrote:

Give it time. The first week is the hardest.

thanks
ill be back with updates bln!

amother

↑ OP ↓

Wed, Sep 11 2024, 7:41 pm

amother Babypink wrote:

I really think it's the separation that is making her cry.

Since you need a break (I totally get it), maybe send her out for half a day? You get to breathe, without her having 6-7 hours separation.

I do 10 to 2:30 which is later and earlier than the time slot available
she sleeps well there, say an hour and half or 2 hours..

amother

Tealblue

Wed, Sep 11 2024, 11:03 pm

amother OP wrote:

ill wait another week
I just feel yucky
sending her out under these conditions while im not even working....

I have a 13 month old and I stay home with him. Babies are happiest with their mothers even if they "bored".

What I do is make my own program and incorporate it into the day. e.g. grocery shopping, park, playdate occasionally, visit grandparents, errands.

They're tiny and don't need a large group to feel stimulated. If you're happy to keep her home, it's really ideal for healthy attachment and emotional development. Being bored is not the end of the world compared to a baby missing her mother.

If you have older kids home later in the day, that should provide enough entertainment for the day.

amother

White

Wed, Sep 11 2024, 11:32 pm

OP have you asked them if soon they will be doing coloring and stickers?
At that age they should be starting.
(I do a group of approx 9 months and half way through the yr I start with them)
Maybe you can offer to send in a paper and crayons so they can see if she will be happier if they give it to her.
My oldest 2 kids didn't really cry when I sent them out but my 3rd (and most advanced) cried a lot at the beginning.
As you said she's very clingy to you. This makes settling much harder.

LovesHashem

Wed, Sep 11 2024, 11:37 pm

What daycares do you keep sending to? Even smaller babies at Israeli daycares like 12 months have a routine, do coloring, music, games, teaching skills and offering stimulation.

My kids are like yours, they need a lot of stimulation early on. They do all the things you describe at 15 months.

salt

Thu, Sep 12 2024, 4:19 am

amother OP wrote:

I do 10 to 2:30 which is later and earlier than the time slot available
she sleeps well there, say an hour and half or 2 hours..

I'm pretty sure she's crying because it's so new to her, and it's the first time you are leaving her.
Not because she's under-stimulated.
Nothing wrong with a 1.5 year old just hanging out and playing around for a couple of hours per day.

amother

Blonde ↓

Thu, Sep 12 2024, 4:42 am

amother OP wrote:

My baby is just about 15 months and acts like 2.5 year old in every single way... talking, playing, communicating, listens to instructions, makes animal sounds and much more bh keh.
She was put into daycare class with kids 15-17 months , she is youngest.
She's really unhappy. im thinking there is no program for her, its basically babysitting- play with toys as you like, eat at lunchtime, nap at naptime and thats all....
she cries bitterly when I walk in to drop her off and cries bitterly when I pick her up, usually sits on her teachers lap with a sad sad face
she needs more stimulation, even something like the teacher should show her a book or build with her the legos or dress her doll and show her she can be a mommy
thats what she does at home with me... and she does a&c at home too- stickers, doo dots, crayons, clay, kinectic sand...
what do I do? can I ask to put her up a class where they are much more on her level. they have shabbos parties on friday, they go to play outdoors with bikes and more, they have all sorts of activities/games/a&c she would thrive from!
with the details given, would you give it more time or should I have a talk with the director?

I work in a day care with kids exactly that age. No kud that age is crying because they are not stimulated enough. We had a kid who cried for a good 6 months. But the both parents worked so they needed day care. He cried all day except for his nap or if he was on someones lap.
We also had a kid who the parets thought he wasnt bring stimulated enough, but they werr way off base.
Its been a week. You must give things more time. But you dont actually know how she plays when you are not there.
Also drop off is very hard for little kids. And pick up as well. They see other kuds getting picked up and not them so they cry. We experience this every single day.

amother

↑ Blonde ↓

Thu, Sep 12 2024, 4:47 am

amother OP wrote:

I do 10 to 2:30 which is later and earlier than the time slot available
she sleeps well there, say an hour and half or 2 hours..

Can I make a suggestion as someone working in a day care? Try sending more in the beginning of the day, when everyone else is coming in as well. She's coming in when all kids have already eaten and possibly gone outside. They are in to the routine. We had a kid eho came last year from 8-12. It was perfect. He left just before nap time. And he wclimated really well.

amother

↑ Blonde

Thu, Sep 12 2024, 4:49 am

LovesHashem wrote:

Im going to say thats not true. Or not always right at the beginning. The kids hwve to get used to the gan and the ganenot have to get acclimted to the kids sleep schedule, ehich at a year is still sketchy when they come to a nee place.

amother

Moccasin

Thu, Sep 12 2024, 8:46 am

amother OP wrote:

I'm confused. The bolded are age appropriate for 15-17 months. All my kids morahs do those at that age. Why are they not being done?

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