How to react when toddler does wrong things

amother

OP ↓

Tue, Sep 10 2024, 4:58 pm

My just turned two year old loves to throw her food when she’s done eating it and turns the garbage over for fun. It is so anger inducing even though I know it’s totally age appropriate. How do you react when your toddler does things like that?

amother

↑ OP

Tue, Sep 10 2024, 5:00 pm

Success10 wrote:

Run and grab the camera?

lol I did the first few hundred times but now I’m just annoyed and sick of picking up garbage and her wasting food.

Do you have a toddler, or are you just nostalgic for the days when you had a toddler? If you have a toddler then you’re a more patient mom than me, that’s for sure.

↑ Success10

Tue, Sep 10 2024, 5:02 pm

It's really annoying. It's a game for them. I'm also awful at dealing with this stuff, that's the truth.

amother

Winterberry

Tue, Sep 10 2024, 5:04 pm

amother OP wrote:

Yea I would also be totally angry.
It is very annoying.

tichellady

Tue, Sep 10 2024, 5:06 pm

“ meal time is over”
Try to stay calm and not make a scene. You can say “ instead of throwing your food can we come up with a different way for you to tell me you are done?” Maybe a silly sound or movement etc

Kids are hard! Hang in there

amother

Caramel

Tue, Sep 10 2024, 5:10 pm

I have a toddler. Put on a no funny business face and tell her/him that it’s not acceptable either s/he cleans up or waits in time out until you do. Also try to be on the offense not defense. Tell her before s/he finishes eating- when you are finished you will put your plate in/ by the sink you will not play with your food. Keep repeating eventually they will understand you mean business

amother

Turquoise

Tue, Sep 10 2024, 5:11 pm

I try to state matter of factly “we don’t throw our food on the floor.” And then move on. If you show a lot of emotion it just encourages the behavior.

My toddler just squeezed his apple sauce pouch on the floor and was laughing and showing me. He was proud. I said “we don’t squeeze our apple sauce on the floor. If you don’t want anymore you can throw it out.” And then I move on to the next thing.

Too much attention to the behavior makes it happen more.

Don’t get me wrong. I get triggered too and often get upset. But today I’m calmer so I have advice 😁

AlwaysGrateful

Tue, Sep 10 2024, 5:14 pm

I never had one overturn the garbage, but if I did, I'd try to figure out a way to block the garbage can or put the garbage somewhere else.

Throwing things -- all of my toddlers did that. We say "all done" and take them out of the highchair. It takes a while, but they catch on eventually. I try to use as little emotion as possible when I do it...

ETA: Yes, I currently have a toddler. Also a very messy floor. (Not just from the toddler, B"H...I'm used to it by now.)

amother

Charcoal

Tue, Sep 10 2024, 6:44 pm

A 2 yr old is supposed to do that, as you said, totally age appropriate.
Less words and emotions is more effective. In a neutral voice say no throwing food while you are picking him up and removing him from the food. Wash him up and redirect him to another activity. I promise he won't be doing this in 20 years.
Re the garbage, put it on the counter, buy one with a hard to open lid, or keep it in a closet that he can't access. It's easier than dealing with spilled trash all the time. But even with that, same method of just saying no garbage and redirecting him to a new activity. Kids learn quickly.

amother

Cantaloupe

Tue, Sep 10 2024, 8:10 pm

BH my almost two yr old didn't get into the throwing food shtick but he likes to spill his water for fun. So I only ever give him a tiny bit at a time. It's annoying to keep refilling his cup but more manageable when he spills it. And I react sternly and seriously. (Yes, I also give him sippy cups but he wants to be like his older siblings, with cups.) My point is that knowing his tendencies, I proactively make the situation less annoying for myself. Maybe give your toddler only half the food at a time and refill as she eats?

I agree with others that some things just need to be out of reach. Our bathroom garbage has been living on the vanity for the past little while. It's ugly and annoying but better than cleaning it up every day...

amother

Cinnamon ↓

Tue, Sep 10 2024, 8:18 pm

I feel like I can give all this advice to someone else about using a calm voice, no emotion, matter-of-factly moving them on to the next thing, etc, but meanwhile with my own toddler I'm totally losing it.

She is almost 2, and Out Of Control. Throwing, spilling, breaking, running to the street, grabbing the baby... and on and on, one thing after the next. I'm ready to pull out my hair.

Yes, age appropriate, and B"H Hashem blessed her with such a charm that you can't stay upset at her for long. She us so lovable. But so impossible.

I do hope she will grow out of this. My older child has very different in personality.

You're definitely not alone, OP.

amother

↑ Cinnamon

Tue, Sep 10 2024, 8:27 pm

And yes, we have locks on the cabinets and a lid on the garbage, etc. But some things just can't be protected from a super-active child.

Like when she pulls a stool up to the sink and spills bucket-loads of water on the floor.

Or when she climbed on the table and knocked down the vase at a relative's home. (I was right there. She is just so quick)

We had a full bag of Tangerines yesterday and now we have none left because she peeled each one and bit into them.

There is nowhere to put the baby that is safe from her. B"H I think our baby has a special guardian angel. The amount of abuse he endures from his loving sister...