I don't know if I should go ahead with it

DVOM

Sun, Sep 08 2024, 12:23 pm

amother Clematis wrote:

My friend bought a large piece of wood and fixed it on top of their original table, so it's now a good deal bigger for little expense.

My neighbors did this.

We bought a gorgeous, enormous, excellent condition dining room table and 10 matching chairs that seats 12 (14 in a pinch) for about 600$ off Craigslist.

Have you tried Craigslist, Facebook marketplace, Restore stores in your area?

We never buy new furniture. Within 6 months, I'm always able to find what I'm looking for used.

I would consider a new dining room table a needless expense. I have to admit though that I don't need the latest styles or furniture to be in perfect condition. If you don't mind a few nicks and scratches, used is the way to go.

amother

Emerald

Sun, Sep 08 2024, 12:35 pm

Many people keep their dining room table covered at all times. I'd vote for used from craigslist or the like (I often see people selling great condition furniture because it no longer fits in their new home) or adding a new top to your dining room table.

↑ oohlala ↓

Sun, Sep 08 2024, 12:44 pm

amother OP wrote:

I'm holding myself back due to the cost. A solid large dining room table that fits our family now plus a few guests or extra spots for more children iyh, is very costly.

I think a lot of it is DH. It's hard to spend a large sum of money when your DH is not encouraging it and needs to be convinced.

I hear that. But if you don’t spend it on this, what else is the money earmarked for? If you don’t have anything in mind, and you’re just thinking to save for the future, then I think that’s a mistake. Money is to spend to live and live to a standard that makes our lives manageable and even comfortable (but I agree, not extravagant).
You will need to strengthen your resolve if dh isn’t particularly supportive, I assume he’s not stopping you either. I’m sure once you get it he will appreciate and benefit from it.

amother

↑ OP ↓

Sun, Sep 08 2024, 1:57 pm

I have searched for almost a year for a table on all the second hand sites.
I am not buying new chairs.
My friends are encouraging me because I never buy things for myself just because it would make me happy. They are always pushing me to spend on myself.
Our current table is in very good condition, it's just too small.
I didn't look for fancy or the most expensive, but it does need to fit our practical needs, like the size of our room and other considerations.
Again my friends are telling me do it once, do it right, and just enjoy.
My DH is always, are you sure, is there another way, is there a cheaper solution.
Over the years I've become very insecure around spending money. I always say I wish there was a rule to follow ( if it meets these conditions it makes sense to spend the money or if it doesn't meet these conditions better not to spend the money).

This money is not earmarked, it's in a savings account that is used for larger expenses, camp, repairs, a new shaitel when that applies etc. When we use it, we replenish it as soon as we can.

↑ oohlala ↓

Sun, Sep 08 2024, 2:11 pm

Please learn to fargin yourself some things. I’m sorry your husband’s not supportive. That’s hard.

It might be a good idea to sit down and discuss your ideas about money with each other. What it’s for, what your goals are for saving and spending materially. You convey your feelings for what you think is important. Maybe he will learn to be more understanding of your desires and needs…even though he himself doesn’t have those needs.

amother

↑ OP ↓

Sun, Sep 08 2024, 2:26 pm

oohlala wrote:

We have had these discussions many times. He's heard me out and I've heard him out. He believes money should be saved whenever possible. His wherever possible and my wherever possible aren't always the same Smile

. Anyway, He doesn't stop me from buying things but he isn't encouraging spending. He has come a long way in this area, and so have I. He no longer comments or gets upset when I spend money but he doesn't tell me to spend money either. When I feel sure about something and it's not very expensive, I spend what's needed. In this case I'm doubting myself, hence the thread.

amother

Lightyellow

Sun, Sep 08 2024, 2:33 pm

I'm similar to you too, so I get your hesitance. But having a dining room table that fits your family is not an extra it's a need. I think it will give you menuchas hanefesh every friday when you don't have to go upstairs to shlep tables out from under kids beds.
Also, if you are in NY/NJ area and have whatsapp do you have yad shniya? lots of dining room tables are sold there

amother

Chestnut ↓

Sun, Sep 08 2024, 2:47 pm

Yep, we bought a table on Yad Shniya, someone was making aliya 3 years ago and sold us their expandable table, 6 wide chairs, and breakfront for $500. It can fit 12 chairs if we got normal sized ones, but we don't have anywhere close to that amount of people at our table yet. But that was one of our most worth-it purchases. We did have to spend a bit more on the moving truck to get the pieces here but we combined it with another furniture set we were getting secondhand at the same time.

Busybee5

Sun, Sep 08 2024, 4:00 pm

amother OP wrote:

So should I keep waiting and looking for second hand or should I go ahead and buy the one from the store?

Buy the one from the store with no guilt and enjoy!

amother

↑ Butterscotch

Sun, Sep 08 2024, 4:00 pm

Why don't you set a time limit for yourself? Give yourself until a certain date to try to find something secondhand. And then if you haven't found anything, buy new.

amother

Honeysuckle

Sun, Sep 08 2024, 4:03 pm

I know so many people who just put wood on top of the table to make it bigger. You use it with tablecloths and no one sees. The expense is obviously holding you back, so why spend so much when you don't have to? And if something better used comes available, you can upgrade.

amother

↑ Maple

Sun, Sep 08 2024, 4:17 pm

amother OP wrote:

So should I keep waiting and looking for second hand or should I go ahead and buy the one from the store?

Where have you been looking?

Can you contact one of the places that adds a larger tabletop to your existing table for a quote to compare?

How much is the new table you've been looking at?

Dolly Welsh ↓

Sun, Sep 08 2024, 4:28 pm

amother Clematis wrote:

My friend bought a large piece of wood and fixed it on top of their original table, so it's now a good deal bigger for little expense.

This wins the thread. Do this.

amother

Navy

Sun, Sep 08 2024, 4:49 pm

No one should be telling you what to spend. They're not in your shoes, they don't know your expenses. I looked in to the wood idea at one point. Seems like a nice option for now. If your husband is not on board, set a date with him - if you don't find a used option by then, you'll spend on something new.

I know people who used folding tables for many years. I live in a simple community. It's not a big deal if you don't have extra money or desire to spend.

amother

↑ Chestnut ↓

Sun, Sep 08 2024, 4:59 pm

amother Navy wrote:

It's more that all the shlepping of folding tables becomes a big hassle that is very unenjoyable. I'm in camp "look for a way to enlarge your table more cheaply, such as by using the wood on top or getting a table second hand, and if that's not doable any time soon, go for the new one from the store and enjoy many, many years of happiness with it". It's a staple, you'll use it week in and week out (or even day in and day out if your family does hmwk at the dining room table like we did growing up) and it might be a lot but you'll get your money's worth. It's not a totally unnecessary splurge so go for it.

amother

↑ Chestnut

Sun, Sep 08 2024, 5:00 pm

And keep in mind that however much you buy the table for secondhand, you're going to have a nice moving fee too, so ultimately it might be worth it to just buy a nice new one once you're spending all that money.