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Forum
-> Household Management
-> Finances
amother
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 Sun, Sep 08 2024, 2:12 pm
We are simple people who BH pay our bills and try to save. We don't have fancy things and buy things that are basic.
A year ago I got into my head that I want to update a large peice of furniture in our home. Our current piece is functional but BH our family has grown and our lifestyle has evolved and can really benefit from the upgrade. This is a practical upgrade not an esthetics one.
The thing is, it's very expensive. I've shopped around, done research, and have come to the end of my search. It's just so much money. I've never spent this amount of money on a single item in my life. I can't seem to move forward. I keep thinking, am I really going to spend x amount of money on this one thing???
DH hates to spend, he will make do with whatever we have, he will not protest if this is very important to me but he is definitely not the one who will encourage a large purchase.
Can you help me with this decision?
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Elfrida
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Sun, Sep 08 2024, 2:13 pm
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Do you have the money, or would you have to go into debt for it?
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Success10
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Sun, Sep 08 2024, 2:16 pm
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Not a lot of info here, but I'll try to give my 2 cents. Most will disagree with me, but unless your kids are embarassed of the item, I wouldn't upgrade. It might send you down a path of slowly needing to upgrade every piece in the house.
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amother
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Sun, Sep 08 2024, 2:18 pm
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You didn't specify the type of item, but assuming it's something like a dining room table, maybe it is more aesthetics than you are willing to admit. For example, you can put two tables together and cover with a longer tablecloth for the same practical effect, albeit not as impressive looking.
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Elfrida
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Sun, Sep 08 2024, 2:20 pm
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If the previous item is still functional, could you sell it second hand to offset some of the cost?
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amother
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Sun, Sep 08 2024, 2:25 pm
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Did you check second hand options? You can get some amazing deals.
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oohlala
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Sun, Sep 08 2024, 2:38 pm
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If it was something functional that will improve your day to day life, and/or your kids, I would go for it. If you have the money, it’s there for spending on things that we need and can improve our daily living.
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chestnut
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Sun, Sep 08 2024, 2:41 pm
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Can you comfortably spend this money?
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amother
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Sun, Sep 08 2024, 2:44 pm
We would not go into debt, we would take it from savings. I prefer savings to be for simchos and home repairs etc.
It is 💯 a practically driven desire. We don't fit at our dining room table without adding a folding table. Our dining room table fits 6 people and our family is already 8. We need a folding tables every shabbos, depending on the guests different sizes. We don't have where to store the folding tables either so they are under kids beds upstairs. Pretty annoying to shlep up and down.
We can for sure manage like this but it getting to be a bit much.
I searched second hand tables for months and I got no where.
Our original table is not worth much at all.
My friends are telling me spend the money and get a decent peice that fits your needs and lifestyle and move on, but my friends don't live as simply as I do and their DHs don't have the same approach to spending as mine does.
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oohlala
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Sun, Sep 08 2024, 2:47 pm
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I don't live extravagantly but I guess not as simply as you. A functional dining table to me is a very legitimate purchase. It’s the heart of a frum home. It’s ok for you to desire something and go for it. Why hold yourself back?
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amother
Grape
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Sun, Sep 08 2024, 2:48 pm
| amother OP wrote: | We would not go into debt, we would take it from savings. I prefer savings to be for simchos and home repairs etc.
It is 💯 a practically driven desire. We don't fit at our dining room table without adding a folding table. Our dining room table fits 6 people and our family is already 8. We need a folding tables every shabbos, depending on the guests different sizes. We don't have where to store the folding tables either so they are under kids beds upstairs. Pretty annoying to shlep up and down.
We can for sure manage like this but it getting to be a bit much.
I searched second hand tables for months and I got no where.
Our original table is not worth much at all.
My friends are telling me spend the money and get a decent peice that fits your needs and lifestyle and move on, but my friends don't live as simply as I do and their DHs don't have the same approach to spending as mine does. |
Until you wrote this I was thinking I wouldn't do it but I think for this I would do it.
I would look for my cheapest option for something that will last even if it's not the most up-to-date piece.
I would definitely check second hand options as a first.
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B'Syata D'Shmya
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Sun, Sep 08 2024, 2:48 pm
| amother OP wrote: | We would not go into debt, we would take it from savings. I prefer savings to be for simchos and home repairs etc.
It is 💯 a practically driven desire. We don't fit at our dining room table without adding a folding table. Our dining room table fits 6 people and our family is already 8. We need a folding tables every shabbos, depending on the guests different sizes. We don't have where to store the folding tables either so they are under kids beds upstairs. Pretty annoying to shlep up and down.
We can for sure manage like this but it getting to be a bit much.
I searched second hand tables for months and I got no where.
Our original table is not worth much at all.
My friends are telling me spend the money and get a decent peice that fits your needs and lifestyle and move on, but my friends don't live as simply as I do and their DHs don't have the same approach to spending as mine does. |
If its truly Lichvod Shabbos Kodesh, then Hashem will provide. Buy with the intention that this is Lichvode Shabbos Kodesh. And on Shabbos enjoy!
Donate your old set to a worthy newlywed couple.
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amother
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Sun, Sep 08 2024, 3:02 pm
| oohlala wrote: | | I don't live extravagantly but I guess not as simply as you. A functional dining table to me is a very legitimate purchase. It’s the heart of a frum home. It’s ok for you to desire something and go for it. Why hold yourself back? |
I'm holding myself back due to the cost. A solid large dining room table that fits our family now plus a few guests or extra spots for more children iyh, is very costly.
I think a lot of it is DH. It's hard to spend a large sum of money when your DH is not encouraging it and needs to be convinced.
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Success10
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Sun, Sep 08 2024, 3:05 pm
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If you decide to pursue it, I did read on this site about buying well-made Amish tables for significantly cheaper. You could look into that.
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amother
Clematis
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Sun, Sep 08 2024, 3:12 pm
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My friend bought a large piece of wood and fixed it on top of their original table, so it's now a good deal bigger for little expense.
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Elfrida
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Sun, Sep 08 2024, 3:18 pm
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If you decide to go ahead, don't fall into the trap of deciding you need new chairs to match it. Buying ten or twelve new chairs would hire than double the expense. Can you be satisfied with a new table and old chairs?
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amother
Outerspace
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Sun, Sep 08 2024, 3:19 pm
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I got a huge table from a consignment store. It cost $700. Fits 14 easy
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amother
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Sun, Sep 08 2024, 3:19 pm
| amother OP wrote: | We would not go into debt, we would take it from savings. I prefer savings to be for simchos and home repairs etc.
It is 💯 a practically driven desire. We don't fit at our dining room table without adding a folding table. Our dining room table fits 6 people and our family is already 8. We need a folding tables every shabbos, depending on the guests different sizes. We don't have where to store the folding tables either so they are under kids beds upstairs. Pretty annoying to shlep up and down.
We can for sure manage like this but it getting to be a bit much.
I searched second hand tables for months and I got no where.
Our original table is not worth much at all.
My friends are telling me spend the money and get a decent peice that fits your needs and lifestyle and move on, but my friends don't live as simply as I do and their DHs don't have the same approach to spending as mine does. |
Can you move your couch away from the wall a bit and slip the folding table(s) behind?
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Raizle
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Sun, Sep 08 2024, 3:20 pm
| amother OP wrote: | We would not go into debt, we would take it from savings. I prefer savings to be for simchos and home repairs etc.
It is 💯 a practically driven desire. We don't fit at our dining room table without adding a folding table. Our dining room table fits 6 people and our family is already 8. We need a folding tables every shabbos, depending on the guests different sizes. We don't have where to store the folding tables either so they are under kids beds upstairs. Pretty annoying to shlep up and down.
We can for sure manage like this but it getting to be a bit much.
I searched second hand tables for months and I got no where.
Our original table is not worth much at all.
My friends are telling me spend the money and get a decent peice that fits your needs and lifestyle and move on, but my friends don't live as simply as I do and their DHs don't have the same approach to spending as mine does. |
OP from that I understand you feel like you are foregoing on your principles. Having a table that fits your family is a basic need and if you can afford it then I think it's silly to make do without it just because of the standard you are setting for yourself.
If it helps, think about it in terms of hachnosos orchim. This will help you to do a mitzvah and enhance your Shabbos table and yes also your sholom bayis. If you are more comfortable at the table then everyone is more relaxed.
If you said you couldn't afford it then yeah I'd tell you to just use folding tables but just like any other expensive need, that's what the money is for if you have it. I suspect your friends are encouraging you to get it because of the state of your current one. Sometimes you need someone on the outside to point out to you that you really need something.
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amother
Starflower
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Sun, Sep 08 2024, 3:22 pm
| amother Clematis wrote: | | My friend bought a large piece of wood and fixed it on top of their original table, so it's now a good deal bigger for little expense. |
I know of a custom closets guy who does this for a very good price and it looks really nice. Personally, I bought the biggest table in Ikea which seats ten.
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