WWYD POOL SWIMMING

amother

↑ OP ↓

Sun, Sep 08 2024, 1:03 pm

amother Currant wrote:

Your mil sounds like a person who believes in kids independence.

My mil is the same - there’s no gate for crawling babies at the stairs in their house, instead, all the grandkids learned to crawl up and down steps from a nice young age.

Could that be the case here?

Possibly but that’s not how I’m raising my kids. My daughter walked down there 15 wood circle steps alone once because she was left alone. To a tile floor. I’m not ok or comfortable with that

newyorkgal6

Sun, Sep 08 2024, 1:08 pm

IMHO you should not allow your kids there without you. Having a pool without a gate is a disaster waiting to happen… yes learning how to swim is important but a gate around the pool is imperative!!

↑ B'Syata D'Shmya ↓

Sun, Sep 08 2024, 1:08 pm

amother OP wrote:

My in laws have a huge pool without a gate and I’m not comfortable with daughter going without me and they didn’t want to get a gate so I guess she thought swimming lessons would make me change my mind

Do you want to now how old my child will be before I let them around a pool without a gate?? When he gets his drivers license, maybe....
Seriously , use the good sense Hashem gave us. Even if a 2 yr old can swim, never ever ever leave your child there alone.

amother

↑ OP ↓

Sun, Sep 08 2024, 1:09 pm

I don’t let my kids there without me and she’s offended WE KNOW HOW TO WAtch children…. She will never be alone blah blah

↑ B'Syata D'Shmya

Sun, Sep 08 2024, 1:09 pm

amother OP wrote:

Possibly but that’s not how I’m raising my kids. My daughter walked down there 15 wood circle steps alone once because she was left alone. To a tile floor. I’m not ok or comfortable with that

Your instincts wont fail you. Your in laws home will one day be a great place for your children to be, but only properly supervised.

amother

↑ OP ↓

Sun, Sep 08 2024, 1:10 pm

Why can’t you just leave them here for a few hours? We want to watch the kids and spend time with them.. I said you can come
To me whenever you would like. But I feel bad that I don’t want my kids at my in laws without me

amother

Chocolate ↓

Sun, Sep 08 2024, 1:12 pm

amother OP wrote:

No it was a fun activity mother in law wanted to do with my child. In the past they have gone into the pool together. Now she was handed to a stranger with 3 other children and told to sit while they each I guess take turns learning to kick ? I’m not sure but I knew from the first second she wasent happy.. mil said let her get used to it she’ll be fine. Until I heard her screaming and then I went right in to let her know I was there. She told me I’m scared mommy. But I’m made to seem like the crazy one bc I didn’t let her cry in a pool w a stranger.

I don't understand. Why weren't you with the child? How was 1 instructor watching over 4 toddlers? My kids have been taking swimming lessons for years, the kids aren't left there alone.

amother

↑ Chocolate ↓

Sun, Sep 08 2024, 1:13 pm

amother OP wrote:

I don't get it. Where were you during this entire time? How don't you have an eye on your children 100% of the time if there's a pool with no gate?

amother

Babyblue ↓

Sun, Sep 08 2024, 1:14 pm

Who cares what your mil thinks or says? You're the mother and your instincts are correct. If you want to do swim lessons it should be 1:1 with a warm and patient instructor. And you should join them in the pool and participate. Definitely don't let her go to any home without a secured pool unless you're there supervising constantly.

saralem

Sun, Sep 08 2024, 1:15 pm

No gate around a pool is soooo dangerous. I can’t imagine being comfortable sending my kids there. I’m surprised one can obtain homeowners insurance without a gate around a pool.

amother

↑ Babyblue

Sun, Sep 08 2024, 1:15 pm

amother OP wrote:

Never feel bad about protecting your kids LIVES! It's your biggest responsibility as a parent.

amother

↑ OP ↓

Sun, Sep 08 2024, 1:16 pm

amother Chocolate wrote:

I don't get it. Where were you during this entire time? How don't you have an eye on your children 100% of the time if there's a pool with no gate?

That’s why they domt go to the house wirjout me… becaude noomr watches like I do. shes offended I domt trust her enough to leave my kids there without me

amother

↑ Chocolate

Sun, Sep 08 2024, 1:16 pm

saralem wrote:

No gate around a pool is soooo dangerous. I can’t imagine being comfortable sending my kids there. I’m surprised one can obtain homeowners insurance without a gate around a pool.

A gate around a pool is not a legal requirement.

amother

Periwinkle

Sun, Sep 08 2024, 1:16 pm

Isn't having a gate around a pool a halacha!?
Same as having an gate/enclosure around a porch or high surface.

Eta - Here are sources from a quick Google search
https://shulchanaruchharav.com.....pool/

https://dinonline.org/2019/10/.....pool/

amother

↑ OP ↓

Sun, Sep 08 2024, 1:17 pm

amother Chocolate wrote:

I don't understand. Why weren't you with the child? How was 1 instructor watching over 4 toddlers? My kids have been taking swimming lessons for years, the kids aren't left there alone.

I was watching from a window with mil

amother

↑ Petunia

Sun, Sep 08 2024, 1:20 pm

amother OP wrote:

I thought those MIL's exist only in comedies & jokes.

amother

Bronze

Sun, Sep 08 2024, 2:05 pm

IIRC, my homeowners insurance required me to have a 6 ft gate around the pool. Maybe the insurance rates are higher without one or different states have different laws. And no, don't leave a 2 yo screaming in a pool to teach them to swim, this will traumatize them more.

↑ kiwi strawberry

Sun, Sep 08 2024, 3:32 pm

If your in laws have a pool with no gate then getting her swimming lessons is a good idea, but it can be with an instructor and setting of your choosing. You find your own swimming instructor that's one on one where you will be present.

amother

Honey

Sun, Sep 08 2024, 3:44 pm

Your mother in law sounds like a first class idiot, I'm sorry to say.

A pool without a gate is a disaster waiting to happen. Anyone can get in there, chas vshalom drown, and sue your mother in law for negligence.

If your MIL lacks basic common sense and seichel to this degree, I would not leave a kid by her for 1 minute, unsupervised. Never.

amother

RosePink

Sun, Sep 08 2024, 4:02 pm

You did the right thing by taking your kid out.
If you can afford it I would find an instructor trained for toddlers that do 1:1. (I wouldn't tell mil coz if you do leave child in her watch it might lax her watch standard since she knows to swim.)

I have watched a youtuber who has her 7 months old taught to swim and they are taught with clothes on (including testing them with winter coats on) since they have a pool and the mother had a drowning scare as a child.