11mo old hitting | Imamother

amother

OP ↓

Sat, Sep 07 2024, 9:11 pm

My 11mo old has started hitting other kids at daycare, including younger babies, and making them cry. She also hits me and DH in the face and laughs. It doesn't hurt us but I realize it does hurt when she does it to babies. She's just trying to play, but doesn't understand it hurts people. How can I get her to stop, and is she old enough to understand that she is causing pain?

amother

Honey

Sat, Sep 07 2024, 10:32 pm

amother OP wrote:

Catch the hand that hits (gently), look her in the eyes, and say "no hitting." Ask the daycare provider to do the same.

amother

Catmint

Sun, Sep 08 2024, 2:30 am

She does understand, I would strictly tell her "No hitting." and not comfort her if she cries. If she laughs, repeat until she doesn't. This is what Rebitzin Spetner says.

amother

Geranium ↓

Sun, Sep 08 2024, 2:54 am

No hitting at this age doesnt work because they dont know what to do instead. And I disagree that they fully understand its just a game to them. I would catch the hand and say “nice” or “gentle”. U need to redirect. And when she is gentle make a big deal of it to reinforce. Practice with dolls. Say look baby and gentle as you stroke the baby. Make this a game with tons of reinforcement.

amother

Nutmeg

Sun, Sep 08 2024, 4:23 am

Same boat. Mine also tries to bite (prob teething) and likes to grab fisfuls of my face with her sharp talons.

It's interesting because she does understand No and knows to stop doing whatever she's in the middle of. But so far no success with hitting.

amother

↑ OP

Mon, Sep 09 2024, 8:12 pm

Thanks for the suggestions! How long do you think it takes to see results? I tried stopping her hand and saying "NO" firmly, plus redirecting to gentle touch, but so far it has not stopped the behavior. Also I don't know if she understands gentle touch - she tried to copy me but still uses excessive force.

amother

↑ Geranium

Tue, Sep 10 2024, 4:00 am

amother OP wrote:

It takes some time but keep directing and repeating "nice" or "gentle" as you take her hand and stroke. Keep it to one word. Then say very exptession something like wow you are so kind. Doesn't matter what u say it's the excitement u say it with. This is a game for her so u need to make the exciting game about being gentle

amother

Carnation

Tue, Sep 10 2024, 4:42 am

She's learning that her hands are strong and she can use power add strength. This is a good thing. Try to do activities where she gets to practice in a safe way.