How to react appropriately to kid hitting parent

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amother

Thu, Jul 04 2024, 8:25 pm

And verbal disrespect? Kids aged 3 and 5. younger one whenever he gets upset jealous hurt basically whenever he cries and that happens often he's ultra sensitive. Also find my kids have no concept of disrespect so if I say I will need to xyz if you don't stop abc they automatically repeat to my direction. I keep on saying and explaining but nothing is changing. How do I respond appropriately when happens so they finally learn?

#BestBubby

Thu, Jul 04 2024, 8:47 pm

Kudos for realizing that teaching respectful speech and no hitting parents must be taught at age 3.

Treat hitting a parent like running in the street,
A very big deal.

Hold the child's hand firmly, put your face close to DC and say in your sternest voice

You are never never ever ever allowed to hit a parent!!!

Repeat 3 times.

#BestBubby

Thu, Jul 04 2024, 8:51 pm

Do the same for disrespect,

If child calls you crazy, stupid,

Say very sternly

You are not allowed to talk that way to a parent.

It's a big aveirah!

Model respectful speech.

If a child gives orders to a parent

Give me a drink!

Tell child to say

Mommy, could you please give me a drink?

amother

Thu, Jul 04 2024, 8:55 pm

Thanks for taking the time to advise.. Will try it and be consistent. How long should I expect to see change?

amother

Watermelon

Thu, Jul 04 2024, 8:57 pm

Just hold their hand down and tell them calmly you don't hit a parent. Respete in a calm tone as often as needed till the child calms down a bit. When they're calm you can try to validate their anger while simultaneously explaining that hitting a parent is not an answer. Teach them to use their words. Implement consequences when it happens again.

#BestBubby

Thu, Jul 04 2024, 9:00 pm

amother OP wrote:

Thanks for taking the time to advise.. Will try it and be consistent. How long should I expect to see change?

Depends on child.

You may see an escalation in beginning but if very consistent should see improvement about 3 weeks.

amother

Latte

Fri, Jul 05 2024, 10:10 am

I'm not into gentle parenting but I don't spank.

Here's what I do:

Put on my exaggerated mean face:

"EXCUSE ME???!!!!!

DID YOU JUST HIT IMA????!!!!!"

At this point they back off and look down. I up the intimidation by going over to them, and put my face in their face

"IT'S ASSUR TO HIT AN IMA OR AN ABA! WOULD YOU LIKE ME TO HIT YOU? (note: I've never hit them, this is a theoretical question) THEN DON'T HIT ME!!!"

I'll probably get a lot of hugs from gentle parents on this one. But none of my kids have hit me more than 2 or 3 times in their lives, and not past age 5.

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