I’m losing it | Imamother

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Forum -> Parenting our children -> Toddlers

I’m losing it

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amother

OP ↓

Wed, Sep 04 2024, 10:36 am

My toddler keeps throwing things at me and I’m getting really hurt. Toys, books, shoes, brush. It really really hurts. I try so hard to keep him distracted and occupied but it’s hard to do that consistently all the time! I have things I have to get done and besides it’s exhausting! And I have other kids! I also tried things like timeout and taking away favorite toys etc. but he just doesn’t have any impulse control. He is barely 2 and very hyper. Also he keeps waking up my baby who is now overtired most of the time…I feel like I’m going to absolutely lose it. I am so tired of being a punching bag! I am literally getting physically hurt badly. I have bruises all over me. I can’t go on like this, help!

amother

Hibiscus

Wed, Sep 04 2024, 10:39 am

He sounds dysregulated.
What's his diet like? His sleep? Is he sick a lot?

amother

↑ OP ↓

Wed, Sep 04 2024, 10:48 am

He’s a great sleeper, rarely sick, diet not what I would like it to be but I think fairly typical for a kid that age. He’s always been like this. It’s just even worse now because he’s in between camp/school for 2 weeks and he’s bored.

tichellady

Wed, Sep 04 2024, 10:50 am

My son was also very hard at this age. Do you have any childcare for him?

Dolly Welsh ↓

Wed, Sep 04 2024, 10:59 am

Bring in the father.

Also, tell him no. Hold his hands and say loudly, 'don't throw things' Loudly.

You do a child no favors, no favors at all, if you let them do things that make you dislike him.

He is better off being pretty upset at this laying down of the law, than at continuing to do it.

It is very important that he not become really unpleasant. Of course being a child is a messy thing in itself. But there are things that are off limits entirely: biting anybody, hitting mommy, and this.

It is better for him that the law be laid down by his mommy, than later by some stranger who does not love him. Someday somebody is going to punish him for unacceptable behavior. That will be much worse. It's better if it's you, and right now.

If you really, really are having trouble being listened to, bring in his father.

The kid must not grow up to be a terror. At his present age he is not an infant and now can learn.

As for his waking up the sleeping baby, keep the toddler in another room with a closed door between him and the baby. The baby's health is being affected.

Sure it's unpleasant, but do the hard work now, and you won't have to do it later. It only gets harder as the child gets bigger.

Nobody, including children, likes a change in the rules.

Your laying down the law now is, for him, a change in the rules, because you allowed it up to now. Best to never ever let this stuff start. Oh well, you have a chore in front of you.

amother

Bubblegum

Wed, Sep 04 2024, 11:16 am

He sounds like he needs attention. I know you said you have things to do but give him a lot more attention and hugs and smiles.... He's calling for you. Can you sit down and play with him?

amother

↑ OP

Wed, Sep 04 2024, 3:19 pm

Of course I hold his hands and tell him no! It doesn’t help. And it doesn’t help when DH disciplines either, I think he’s just truly not old enough for chinuch to fully set in. He’s just very impulsive and doesn’t remember about consequences in the moment. And he gets lots of attention. I play with him all the time. He “helps” me with whatever I’m doing.

mushkamothers

Wed, Sep 04 2024, 3:45 pm

Redirect to appropriate throwing.

Give him other things to throw that fill the trajectory urge. Beanbags into taped square on floor or wall, ball into hoop, bubbles, balls in pipes for bathroom, pom poms into toilet paper rolls taped on wall.

amother

Geranium

Wed, Sep 04 2024, 4:16 pm

Barely 2? They have limited understanding. Take the toys away and try to give him positive attention for good behavior. For now I would offer soft toys that won't hurt. And demonstrate how he should behave.

Hashem_Yaazor

Wed, Sep 04 2024, 5:02 pm

My 2 yo knows better but does these things anyway (throwing, deliberately bothering people) and he knows he'll be put in a crib if that happens. He can climb out easily, which is why he doesn't sleep in one, but the idea of it bothers him enough that it's gone down drastically since I took a firm stance when I realized he was able to control himself but wanted to do whatever he wanted.

amother

Mustard

Wed, Sep 04 2024, 5:11 pm

Sounds like he needs the sensory imput. He's young for playdough but maybe he would enjoy it? Or fingerprinting?

What about this for him?
Melissa & Doug Children's Book - Poke-a-Dot: Old MacDonald’s Farm (Board Book with Buttons to Pop) - FSC Certified https://a.co/d/ityV1Mj

My sensory kids love this too
Super Z Outlet Liquid Motion Bubbler for Sensory Play, Fidget Toy, Children Activity, Desk Top, Assorted Colors (1 Piece) https://a.co/d/9AXwesz

↑ Dolly Welsh

Thu, Sep 05 2024, 11:03 am

amother OP wrote:

He may need another few months of development, yes. To get the point here.

But maybe he is getting so much attention and validation that he isn't learning to generate that internally and self-regulate. Maybe let him see you, from a playpen, but not actually participate in what you are doing, or be talked to, for a minute. First one minute, then two minutes.

He is physically vigorous enough to grasp something to throw, and to throw, so, give him physical things, toys, to pull on, twist, bang, and manually work with, in the playpen.

amother

Moonstone

Thu, Sep 05 2024, 11:07 am

OP, maybe get him a small trampoline for inside the house so he can let off his steam. A small riding toy for the house is also great for that age.

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