Incident on the bus

↑ octopus ↓

Tue, Sep 03 2024, 6:32 pm

amother OP wrote:

The kids asked the bus driver to turn on the radio. Which she did. Non Jewish kol isha. (With big boys on the bus.)

Not acceptable! This is so easy for an administration to fix. You emailed them. I can't imagine that they won't take care of it. Give the principal a day to talk to the driver.

↑ Molly Weasley

Tue, Sep 03 2024, 6:36 pm

amother OP wrote:

The kids asked the bus driver to turn on the radio. Which she did. Non Jewish kol isha. (With big boys on the bus.)

So that's usually something the kodesh people of the school would take very seriously. I’m surprised they’re letting it pass. Have you considered speaking to the other parents whose children witnessed the incident? It might help if they also reached out.

Regarding the neighbor, does she typically allow that type of music at home? If not, you might consider notifying her as a PSA rather than having a confrontational conversation.

amother

↑ Floralwhite

Tue, Sep 03 2024, 6:52 pm

amother Nutmeg wrote:

Hmm I don't see that as such a big issue. Just tell the drivers they can't do that. Doesn't need much correcting to the kids.

The kids need to know that they can't ask the driver to turn on the radio, or any music for that matter.

amother

↑ OP ↓

Tue, Sep 03 2024, 7:14 pm

amother Nutmeg wrote:

Hmm I don't see that as such a big issue. Just tell the drivers they can't do that. Doesn't need much correcting to the kids.

I guess I can go out tomorrow and talk to the driver myself. I hadn't thought of that. I'm just a bit wary of parents stepping out of their lane.
The bottom line for me is that it's not acceptable for a bus of elementary and preschool kids to be without a monitor.

amother

↑ OP ↓

Tue, Sep 03 2024, 7:17 pm

Molly Weasley wrote:

I have no idea what the neighbor does at home, but I would not be surprised if this is okay in her house. I wouldn't imagine that me calling her would be confrontational, (we are friendly and she seems to be an easygoing person) but, honestly, I am not sure how she will feel.
It should come from the school, I think.
The principal did not ask me which child it was who instigated it.

amother

cornflower

Tue, Sep 03 2024, 7:23 pm

Did the menahel tell you what is happening with the monitor situation? Are they looking for someone?

I wouldn't talk to the driver or to the mother. It's a relatively minor issue and that would be stepping out of your lane. (Yes, I would be uncomfortable as we have only jewish music in our home, and kol Isha is an issue)

What can you do?

Find out from the school if there will be a monitor/what is getting in the way.

Stress the importance of the issue

If you are not satisfied with the supervision on the bus consider whether you want(/can) to drive your child to school until it is resolved.

amother

Aster ↓

Tue, Sep 03 2024, 7:26 pm

Children will push boundaries and ask these kinds of things even if the parents don’t allow it at home. Maybe the child had a bus driver in the past that has done it. My children have reported that bus drivers have turned on music at times. The school needs to inform the driver that the radio may not be turned on on their school bus routes. The drivers don’t know any better. I would not involve the child or their parent in this.

amother

↑ OP ↓

Tue, Sep 03 2024, 7:32 pm

amother cornflower wrote:

The main purpose of my call to the Menahel was to ask if there will be a monitor. He said he doesn't know.
Then I told him what happened today.
He asked which route it was and what the name of the driver is.
I then asked again if he thinks there will be a monitor.
He said he will see what he can do.
This issue may seem relatively minor to some , and more upsetting to others. But the bottom line is that there should not be a group of kids on a bus alone without another adult beside for the non-jewish monitor.
(Needless to say, this is a regular yeshiva school, though OOT, and it should never be acceptable to expose the kids to this music, regardless of what some people choose to do at home. )

amother

↑ OP ↓

Tue, Sep 03 2024, 7:52 pm

octopus wrote:

I think you are intensely disappointed because you didn't like the answer about the bus monitor. But it sounds like the principal did care about the non Jewish music.

It's true that I didn't feel that menahel saw this as an urgent matter, and that was dissappinting to me. I have never once complained about anything, so it's not like he is dealing with a parent who is always looking for issues.
But what upset me was that when my son came home from school, and I asked him how it was, he frowned and said that he was subjected to non Jewish music that was kol isha. My son is an easy going kid and I'm dissapointed that his first day of school had to include that.

↑ DrMom

Tue, Sep 03 2024, 9:45 pm

amother OP wrote:

Maybe he has a lot on his plate.

The first day of school is probably a very busy day for him, and lots of unexpected issues crop up.

teachkids

Tue, Sep 03 2024, 10:36 pm

Honestly, I’ve never heard of a paid bus monitor on a bus where there are also big kids. This is not an issue that needs a bus monitor, this is an issue that can be resolved with a quick chat with the kid or driver, and the principal will probably do so

amother

Amaryllis ↓

Wed, Sep 04 2024, 4:50 am

teachkids wrote:

That definitely depends on the kid. My son's middle school bus had some similar issues and the principal was being too passive so we pulled him off the bus and found another arrangement. The kid bringing the smart phone was very chitzpadig and his mother was no better. The driver has nothing to do with it and shouldn't deal with anything besides safe driving.

amother

↑ Aster

Wed, Sep 04 2024, 4:58 am

amother Amaryllis wrote:

The driver shouldn’t listen to children when they instruct him to turn on the radio (or open a door, stop at a store , drop them off at a different stop, allow them to press a button, etc) Children will ask all sorts of things. A smartphone is a different matter where the parent should be notified.

amother

↑ Amaryllis

Wed, Sep 04 2024, 5:00 am

amother Aster wrote:

Oops! Sorry, somehow I missed that it was the driver who turned it on. I agree that the menahel speaking to the driver and the students should be sufficient.

amother

↑ OP ↓

Wed, Sep 04 2024, 5:43 am

teachkids wrote:

There are little kids on the bus, as young as 3 years old. So yes, they do need a monitor. They have had one every year until this year. In fact, the other routes each have a monitor, just our bus doesn't. And I assume it's because they haven't found one yet.

What happened yesterday is just one issue, which can hopefully be resolved quickly. But without a monitor, all sorts of issues can occur.

kenz ↓

Wed, Sep 04 2024, 5:58 am

amother OP wrote:

It’s very challenging to find people willing to be bus monitors, at least in Brooklyn. It’s not worth it to them to have to be on the bus from so early in the morning when they have a whole day of work ahead them. That doesn’t make it less important, it’s just a fact. It doesn’t mean they don’t want to have someone responsible on the bus, it likely means they just don’t have someone to put there.

amother

↑ OP ↓

Wed, Sep 04 2024, 6:05 am

kenz wrote:

Yes, I am aware. They usually pay someone who works in the school, who could use the extra cash.
But, as I said, this is something we have always had, and it's part of what we pay for when we pay for transportation. (We do not have free bussing. This is a paid service.)