Refusing to wear glasses

amother

↑ Lawngreen ↓

Mon, Aug 26 2024, 6:17 pm

amother OP wrote:

I have 7 family members wearing glasses, we hardly ever need to repair.
Lenses are a luxury that I cannot afford anytime soon.

Well then help her figure out how to earn money so she can pay.

bnm ↓

Mon, Aug 26 2024, 6:19 pm

Chayalle wrote:

I'm sorry but 14 year olds don't wear glasses to school. They wear contacts. I'm sorry you wasted money on a pair of glasses.
Contacts are actually (IMVHO) much cheaper to wear than lenses. I have found this to be true with 3 DD's who all wear contacts. It's like you are getting way more for your money. I found that glasses always were breaking and needing replacement/repair...with contacts you get tons of pairs, you can get a discount plan or go with someone who can get them for you cheaper, there are tons of options. You always have a backup. Overall we found we saved money with contacts, and that includes my teen who has a smaller and different eye shape and needed to order a specialty size. Unless she is supersensitive, she can get the monthly contacts and you get like 2 years worth for the price of a pair of glasses.

In what world don't 14 year olds wear glasses?

amother

↑ OP ↓

Mon, Aug 26 2024, 6:20 pm

amother Lawngreen wrote:

Well then help her figure out how to earn money so she can pay.

And if she doesn't earn enough after a month or two, then what? She is overloaded with schoolwork and doesn't do much babysitting.

↑ Chayalle ↓

Mon, Aug 26 2024, 6:20 pm

amother Milk wrote:

I also have astigmatism so can’t wear contacts.
Even tho they do make special contacts but sensory issues as well.

Same, but my daughter has an astigmatism and does fine with contacts. Eye doctor told me if you start young, you adjust to this way of vision and it's easier to overcome the sensory part at a younger age..... But I waited too long (my parents were old-fashioned like that and not into getting contacts till after high school) and it was too late, I can't see with lenses - they are blurry. Gas permeable would alleviate that but I'm too sensory for them. So no contacts. That's why I get them for my girls before high school. I wanted them to have the option, and it works great for them.

↑ Chayalle ↓

Mon, Aug 26 2024, 6:21 pm

bnm wrote:

In what world don't 14 year olds wear glasses?

Most of the girls get contacts in high school. That's what we are seeing where I live. Glasses for backup at most. My daughter just got a pair because she has enough contacts for the year and our insurance covered it, but her last pair was years ago.

amother

Sunflower ↓

Mon, Aug 26 2024, 6:24 pm

amother OP wrote:

I have 7 family members wearing glasses, we hardly ever need to repair.
Lenses are a luxury that I cannot afford anytime soon.

My 14 year old got contacts. We all wear glasses in our family. Some have contacts, some have glasses, some have contacts but prefer glasses, some have glasses but prefer contacts.
If you go to a frum eye store they should be able to price everything out for you. It’s definitely cheaper to take contacts to camp and seminary and yeshiva since they don’t get bent or sat on.
Most insurances will cover one or the other. Can you tell her that now she has glasses, next time she’ll get contacts?

amother

↑ Lawngreen ↓

Mon, Aug 26 2024, 6:29 pm

Chayalle wrote:

Good point, gas permeable are difficult to get used to but this girl is determined. And officially they "last" 5 years but most people I know keep wearing them at least double that.

To OP, you can't crazy glue them to her face and from what you wrote there is no way you will convince her. And if you punish, you will destroy relationships and probably still not convince her.

So what option is there?

So let her be in charge of how much she works and how fast she saves. 14 is very much old enough for girls to self actualize.

↑ bnm ↓

Mon, Aug 26 2024, 6:31 pm

Chayalle wrote:

My 9th grader was not the only one in glasses.

↑ bnm ↓

Mon, Aug 26 2024, 6:32 pm

Op-they don't make lenses in my perscription and not sure about my kids because we haven't tried yet. If we would have standard off the shelve perscriptions maybe they would have gotten lenses already.

amother

Watermelon ↓

Mon, Aug 26 2024, 6:33 pm

amother OP wrote:

Lenses are way too out of my budget. I spent extra on glasses so that she'd have a nice pair to last her.

You can't force a teen to wear glasses. Most/all teens wear contact lenses. You need to find a way to make it work for you. It's not that expensive.

amother

Crystal ↓

Mon, Aug 26 2024, 6:35 pm

Your daughter obviously feels uncomfortable in glasses. You need to look at it as forcing her to wear an article of clothing that is super embarrassing. Even though you don't care, she does. Teens are very complexed and insecure and by forcing her to wear glasses which she obviously hates you are really not showing compassion. I really feel for you that you can't afford it but consider it a necessity, not a luxury.
What would you do if glasses would not exist?
Ask for a discount?
Ask a family member to sponsor it?
Have your daughter work for it?
Take out a loan?

amother

↑ Watermelon ↓

Mon, Aug 26 2024, 6:36 pm

amother OP wrote:

I have 7 family members wearing glasses, we hardly ever need to repair.
Lenses are a luxury that I cannot afford anytime soon.

Contact lenses are NOT a luxury. They are a necessity. It's like saying that you refuse to buy your daughter sanitary pads.

Hashem_Yaazor ↓

Mon, Aug 26 2024, 6:43 pm

I have one daughter who got contacts going into 9th grade because literally no one in her class was wearing glasses (either contacts, low prescription and didn't want to wear their glasses, or didn't need).
I was paying about $100/year at Costco on them. She just switched brands though due to sensitivity so it's more like $175 now.

I have a 12.5 year old with contacts that the eye doctor suggested as corrective since her vision was really very poor for her age and there is a certain type that hinders the eye from narrowing further. That's costing us like $400-$500 a year, but it's a necessity in our minds. We wouldn't not get braces or hearing aids for a kid where it's medically indicated.

Your daughter may do fine with contacts and it might not be so expensive and once she gets used to them and appreciates seeing well, she may start wearing her glasses... My older daughter wore her glasses way more in 10th grade than 9th.

amother

Mulberry

Mon, Aug 26 2024, 6:50 pm

I wear gas permeable and have finally started “treating” myself to a new pair every few years as they have been degrading faster than in the past. Cheaper than glasses for sure and great for my astigmatism. But I don’t know that you’ll find an optometrist pushing this for kids nowadays.

↑ bnm

Mon, Aug 26 2024, 6:54 pm

amother OP wrote:

Thank you all. In my first post I said specifically that lenses are not an option.
Any other ideas?

What ideas are you looking for? Bribe her? Crazy glue it? Laser surgery?

amother

↑ Crystal ↓

Mon, Aug 26 2024, 7:10 pm

amother OP wrote:

Thank you all. In my first post I said specifically that lenses are not an option.
Any other ideas?

You claim your daughter is stubborn. May I suggest you may be stubborn as well? You need to be more understanding to a self conscious teen. You are putting her through shame whether you feel this way or not. Please treat it as if glasses are not an option, just like you want us to think that lenses are not an option.

amother

↑ Chicory ↓

Mon, Aug 26 2024, 7:16 pm

amother OP wrote:

Thank you all. In my first post I said specifically that lenses are not an option.
Any other ideas?

Poor kid. You sound too rigid.

The only other option would be that she doesn't see.

amother

DarkYellow ↓

Mon, Aug 26 2024, 7:18 pm

amother OP wrote:

Thank you all. In my first post I said specifically that lenses are not an option.
Any other ideas?

What other options are there besides for glasses and lenses?? You sound as inflexible as your daughter. You can either give her time and hope she decides to wear them. Or buy the lenses so she can see and not further damage her eyes. Are you sure your insurance doesn't cover any part of lenses or glasses?