S\O one sided double take

amother

↑ Petunia

Tue, Aug 20 2024, 8:49 am

amother Nemesia wrote:

As the wife of a rav in a similar situation, I see this differently.
There will always be a younger generation of more serious guys who will gravitate to the serious rav and the shul that has a more serious vibe. The shul that does not tolerate talking while davening and doesn't lower itself to allow anything to go, who maintains a high level of shiurim and decorum.
The other guys will leave and form their own minyan or join like minded guys looking for a different experience.

This.
It was also going on and on about ho the younger generation needs something different in order to feel 'spiritually connected' and I don't disagree. however the gashmius displayed by this particular group was so over the top that one can't help but wonder what they were really after...

And once again, this is an established place with a Rav. You can't just decide to appoint another mashpia who 'gets the younger crowd' while continuing to use this building for your events.

Imateacher

Tue, Aug 20 2024, 8:53 am

amother Nemesia wrote:

The pool one - the lady who was allowing her neighbor to use the pool did absolutely nothing wrong.

The recent therapist one- the therapist was blameless as well.

Can someone please link the therapist one I can’t find it online

Elfrida

Tue, Aug 20 2024, 10:35 am

I'm impressed that people remember all these. I only buy Mispacha once in a while, not weekly, but it's very rare that an article sticks in my mind, especially not fiction like this.

↑ singleagain ↓

Tue, Aug 20 2024, 10:47 am

sequoia wrote:

I never buy, I read online for free. Not everything is available on the website, but Double Take is.

Yep. I don't buy it. I only read the double take when ppl post about it and link it.

B'Syata D'Shmya ↓

Tue, Aug 20 2024, 11:40 am

amother Opal wrote:

The crazy amount of food being served at the young Shavuous party did slant it toward one side.

Why is the amount of food a problem?, serving food per se is not a problem. AND why cant it be good and plentiful?
The problem was them making the ikar tafel and tafel ikar.
Same with the shiurim. Sure they were more entertainment than serious learning, but nothing inherently wrong with that.
If the good food and entertaining shiurim get those who wouldnt learn , to learn, then good for them.
Luring the serious learners to the "lighter" learning was a problem.
Its like offering first grade workbooks to fifth grade boys rather than 5th grade workbooks.

It would have been interesting to hear the Ravs POV. As a letter writer to Mishpacha pointed out, sure they asked a shayla before, but when the "event" spiraled - the shayla changed and should have been asked again.

However I think both sides were equal and had good reasons for what they did.

↑ B'Syata D'Shmya ↓

Tue, Aug 20 2024, 11:48 am

singleagain wrote:

The one where the rabbi randomly bc he didn't like recent wedding DJ decided to outlaw DJs right after someone in his community had just signed a contract with a DJ... And if I remember most the site thought that was wrong

ETA. I was thinking of the lady who didn't want internet in her house but used her neighbor's internet almost every day . That's the one most of the site was on the lady with internet.

That one was nuts and no real Rav would pasken that way. Asking the other side to take a financial loss (after it was approved by all - a feat of its own) for no real reason, just because it didnt feel right to the Rav at the one time he experienced it with disco balls etc.

The Rav should have called his own Rav to discuss it and make it clear to his Kehilla that as much as he didnt like it, there is no halacha against it and there are situations where the DJ is fine as long as the music is Jewish and doesnt encourage non-Torah behavior.

I think it was a mistake to bring a fictional Rav to the mix.

As to the internet one, I def see both sides there, both were right.

↑ singleagain ↓

Tue, Aug 20 2024, 11:56 am

B'Syata D'Shmya wrote:

As to the internet one, I def see both sides there, both were right.

😮😮😮 No way. If you want to live without Internet then commit. Don't bother your neighbor every day to use her Internet.

↑ B'Syata D'Shmya ↓

Tue, Aug 20 2024, 12:46 pm

singleagain wrote:

😮😮😮 No way. If you want to live without Internet then commit. Don't bother your neighbor every day to use her Internet.

The internet free one was using internet outside the home. She is committed to living without internet in the home.
Of course its ridiculous to shvitz that you are holier than thou because of this.
Its all an illusion, this thinking one is holier than others because of this chumra or that chumra. The generous neighbor who shared her computer and her home was right, but should have communicated in words what was bothering her. Her neighbor also opened her home for the teenage dtr.
The problem was the boasting, I dont have internet at home.

↑ singleagain

Tue, Aug 20 2024, 12:57 pm

B'Syata D'Shmya wrote:

Don't fool yourself that using the Internet in your neighbor home if any better than your own home and your becoming an imposition on your neighbor and. Don't be holy on someone's else's cheshbon.

Queen6

Tue, Aug 20 2024, 6:39 pm

I think that’s the whole point of the Double Take Articles. There is one side that is so totally wrong and yet the other side gets blamed. It’s going on by all of our lives in some form or shape. It’s unfair. But it’s true.

↑ GLUE ↓

Tue, Aug 20 2024, 6:45 pm

Elfrida wrote:

I'm impressed that people remember all these. I only buy Mispacha once in a while, not weekly, but it's very rare that an article sticks in my mind, especially not fiction like this.

I remember the double take I mentioned because something like that happened in my life, as mother of Mesvta boys I defiantly thought the mothers of little kids were wrong.

keym

Tue, Aug 20 2024, 6:47 pm

GLUE wrote:

I remember the double take I mentioned because something like that happened in my life, as mother of Mesvta boys I defiantly thought the mothers of little kids were wrong.

You have a link for that one

Odelyah

Tue, Aug 20 2024, 6:58 pm

amother Petunia wrote:

The rav okayed it. No one appointed a new mashpia.

oohlala

Tue, Aug 20 2024, 7:56 pm

lol 🤣 I guess the column isn’t so one sided if everyone hear is disagreeing about which side was correct.
Personally, I didn’t think the therapist acted professionally. She is entitled to take time off and should not work if she can’t handle it. But there was no concrete plan in place for her clients while she was away.

↑ GLUE

Tue, Aug 20 2024, 8:09 pm

My sister was telling me she felt the one were the family brought a dog to a bungalow colony. What did that family expect? Bringing a dog letting it run lose and people won't be mad at you?

↑ B'Syata D'Shmya ↓

Tue, Aug 20 2024, 8:14 pm

oohlala wrote:

I agree. Therapists like Obstetricians have to have an understudy...for their clients, the show must go on.

↑ B'Syata D'Shmya

Tue, Aug 20 2024, 8:17 pm

GLUE wrote:

My sister was telling me she felt the one were the family brought a dog to a bungalow colony. What did that family expect? Bringing a dog letting it run lose and people won't be mad at you?

UGGGHHH, I didnt read that one either but I had a neighbor who had a terrible, wild, noisy and untrained dog for years, the whole neighborhood was terrified of this dog.

We later found out they were growing marijuana and the dog was for security. There was a raid and everything.