Are you popular in your bungalow colony?

amother

↑ DarkViolet ↓

Tue, Aug 20 2024, 9:22 am

watergirl wrote:

Country is a noun (person, place, or thing). I think you meant to say verb, as in "I don't country very well", "country" being the action.

You're right, meant to say verb!

ETA: I've edited my post.

amother

↑ Seablue

Tue, Aug 20 2024, 9:59 am

amother Hotpink wrote:

No.
From the onset they were all sending her unfriendly vibes and excluding and ignoring her.
It’s actually a form of bullying, but we don’t know yet if it’s deliberate or not.
They’re probably just very busy and don’t care about her at all.
She’s definitely suffering.
You’re blaming the victim, just like her husband.

I was expecting this response.

Since it's fiction obviously the story is pretty 2 dimensional. It is very possible that her own insecurities made her view the others as mean when really it's just hard to be the newcomer in a place where everyone knows each other very well. Yes they could have been friendlier initially but she wasn't willing to put herself out there by showing up to the game nights or kiddush, or man up & ask to borrow milk without freaking out.

I'm not blaming her. I'm just pointing out that it doesn't need to be this way. I'm very shy & moved to a neighborhood I knew no one. I learned to grow up.

amother

↑ Red ↓

Tue, Aug 20 2024, 5:05 pm

Not my thread but I’m feeling bad how left out I am. There was apparently a hike that most of the women went on today and I wasn’t invited.
Just because I’m not popular and out 24/7 doesn’t mean I don’t exist. I’m in this place 10 years and was never invited out once! Yes I sit by their circle and they are friendly to me but still it hurts.
Ironically these ladies discuss bungalow 21 and all kinds of holy subjects and think they are doing great.

bebrave ↓

Tue, Aug 20 2024, 5:23 pm

amother Red wrote:

So sorry for you! If it's like this for you why do you go year after year? And is there any way you see the situation changing?

amother

↑ Red

Tue, Aug 20 2024, 5:31 pm

bebrave wrote:

So sorry for you! If it's like this for you why do you go year after year? And is there any way you see the situation changing?

I’m giving myself away but I don’t care. It’s because my dh is out most the week and he loves it here and it’s free. But I am rethinking. This situation has lots of pros but has really negatively affected me as well.

tigerwife

Tue, Aug 20 2024, 5:31 pm

amother Hotpink wrote:

In the first chapter she and her friends act exactly like this to a new girl on the block. So it’s supposedly to be a twist of irony.

↑ bebrave

Tue, Aug 20 2024, 5:32 pm

amother Red wrote:

So hard🥺 is there not even one person being nice to you? Can your husband stick up for you?

amother

↑ Tulip ↓

Tue, Aug 20 2024, 6:11 pm

amother Red wrote:

Ouch so hard! Just know it happens more often then you think. You are not alone.

amother

NeonPink

Tue, Aug 20 2024, 7:20 pm

What is this, Junior High School? I thought people outgrew the idea of "popularity" by the time they were 21 or married, whichever came first. Guess I was wrong.

amother

Sienna ↓

Tue, Aug 20 2024, 9:53 pm

amother Seablue wrote:

I don't go to a bungalow colony. However, after years of working on myself not to be effected by silly high school ploitics I honestly don't think I'd care much.

I think the woman of Bungalow 21 kind of made her own situation- as in with a different attitude & a dose of humility she would have been part of the crowd in no time.

false, I was naive enough to join such a place and I literally needed therapy after that summer. Was such a blow to my ego. Innocent me showed up all confidently without a friend to a close knit colony that all seemed to know each other ever since (clique would be a better word). Most of them had a similar style of nature, detached, superficial, materialistic, young and stuck up...

I couldn't for the life of me keep up, I tried everything until I felt like an annoying troll.

amother

↑ Sienna ↓

Tue, Aug 20 2024, 9:55 pm

amother Red wrote:

Ouch ouch ouuuuuuch!

Did you confront them in a gentle kind way (curious not furious) like "hey that would be fun, could you let me know next time?

amother

↑ Sienna ↓

Tue, Aug 20 2024, 9:56 pm

amother Tulip wrote:

There is definitely alot of bullying happening in bungalow colony sadly.

Yes I will never forget sitting and watching 2 ladies texting each other across the circle making fun of someone that was sharing a story in the circle. Ew.

amother

Puce

Tue, Aug 20 2024, 10:18 pm

amother DarkViolet wrote:

That's a new one, never heard 'county' being used as a verb before lol!

Newest trend. How do you cholent? How do you challah? How do you summer?
Makes me laugh. I guess we got sick of the regular way of speaking

amother

Ruby

Tue, Aug 20 2024, 10:27 pm

amother Bluebell wrote:

I am not so popular but my sister is. She cares a lot about other people and always offers to watch people's kids for them or lend them things. She has a knack for remembering what difficulties people are going through, and she offers them help they might need. She has teenage daughters who are popular among their friends and they also love to hold people's babies. Their porch is a popular hangout for girls and women in the bungalow colony.

I'm like that and I'm not popular. im always thinking of people and caring and checking up. my nature is an overthinker and a HSP. it doesnt serve me but it definitely serves others. they don't like me for me, they like me for my help.
your sister must have something more to offer than just being a pushover.

amother

↑ Tulip

Tue, Aug 20 2024, 10:47 pm

amother Sienna wrote:

Yes I will never forget sitting and watching 2 ladies texting each other across the circle making fun of someone that was sharing a story in the circle. Ew.

Unfortunately, not shocking

amother

↑ OP ↓

Wed, Aug 21 2024, 10:07 am

I’m the type that people gush over and say the colony would be in the dumps without.
Honestly there is truth to it, I do try to make different inclusive activities and entertainment and I’m interesting to be around.

But it irks me terribly when people say it, it’s like I’m in a terrible place - if not for me! And it’s all in my hand.

I happen to enjoy it immensely, but at this point feel a certain responsibility towards everyone.

Anyone out there like me?

amother

↑ IndianRed ↓

Wed, Aug 21 2024, 10:45 am

amother Sienna wrote:

Ouch ouch ouuuuuuch!

Did you confront them in a gentle kind way (curious not furious) like "hey that would be fun, could you let me know next time?

Bh I’m not in any bungalow colony. I wouldn’t for the life of me try to join such a group that way or try to suck up to them. Reading these responses of being rejected is so heart wrenching. You guys are worth much more than being treated like that!

amother

↑ OP

Wed, Aug 21 2024, 10:50 am

This is really important to hear. I really try to post everything happening on our colony group. Is that enough?

Or do some individuals need more?

I used to think anyone staying indoor for too long must be sad (since I’m so social) and try to get them out. But then realized some people prefer the colony experience differently.