At my wits end! How do I punish a kid who keeps flushing thi

amother

OP ↓

Thu, Aug 15 2024, 5:46 pm

How do I punish a kid who keeps flushing things down the toilet?? Ds5 has adhd. For some reason has a fascination with flushing toys. He’s done this multiple times over the past 2 years and each time the plumber charges us $100 to unclog the toilet. Now he just flushed another toy down and the toilet is overflowing. I’m losing my mind. Punishments aren’t helping. He can’t control himself. Five years old is too old for this. What am I supposed to do???

amother

Denim

Thu, Aug 15 2024, 5:53 pm

You've tried teaching him not to do it and punishing him if he does. That's obviously not working. Remove temptation instead. Don't let him have unsupervised access to the bathroom or put a child lock on the toilet.

amother

↑ OP ↓

Thu, Aug 15 2024, 5:57 pm

amother Denim wrote:

He knows how to open all locks. I can’t supervise him every second he isn’t an infant!

↑ mha3484 ↓

Thu, Aug 15 2024, 6:01 pm

It may be worth looking into an adjustment or adding a different med. I just added a med to my 7 yr old who is a total nut and its taken his impulsiveness down to just the right amount while he still has his personality.

taketwo ↓

Thu, Aug 15 2024, 6:03 pm

I hate the word punish. Think instead of a natural consequence.

Something like telling him because he has ruined an item by flushing it down you have to take away something of his. Then think of anything that he would feel bad to have removed. It could even be a candy or privilege. Talk very business like.

If he goes through a long time not doing it give him positive reinforcement. Tell him how proud you are of him for being a big 5 year old. Or something.

amother

Nasturtium ↓

Thu, Aug 15 2024, 6:05 pm

taketwo wrote:

This isn't a natural consequence, it's just a consequence.

↑ taketwo ↓

Thu, Aug 15 2024, 6:08 pm

amother Nasturtium wrote:

This isn't a natural consequence, it's just a consequence.

If you ruin something by flushing it down the toilet you need to replace it with something of your own. To me it's a natural consequence. Life is not free.

amother

↑ Nasturtium

Thu, Aug 15 2024, 6:10 pm

taketwo wrote:

If you ruin something by flushing it down the toilet you need to replace it with something of your own. To me it's a natural consequence. Life is not free.

Ok. You mentioned a privilege as an example, which isn't something that's replacing someone else's mentchie or whatever.

↑ taketwo

Thu, Aug 15 2024, 6:12 pm

amother Nasturtium wrote:

Ok. You mentioned a privilege as an example, which isn't something that's replacing someone else's mentchie or whatever.

That's a 3rd option if he isn't attached to any toys or foods, you can make a long shot connection to paying for the toy with a privilege. Yes, a toy or food would be a lot more of a direct natural consequence. Especially for a 5 year old.

↑ mha3484

Thu, Aug 15 2024, 6:15 pm

I have multiple boys with adhd and a girl who may have it too. Wont be shocked lol. Have you heard of the concept of adjusted age?

https://honestlyadhd.com/adhd-executive-age/

This helps me a lot to have realistic expectations of my kids and not get angry so often.

Also as much I like natural consequences I am not sure a 5 year who really is more like a 3 yo maturity wise is able to put the action together with the consequence and not do it again.

amother

Honey ↓

Thu, Aug 15 2024, 6:20 pm

How old are your other kids? And how tall?

We had this problem. None of the basic locks help, you're right. The best lock I ever found were those door knob covers that you had to press a certain way to open it- but some adults in my house couldn't do it either, much less the other kid. You can also install a hook and eye lock higher up. Yes, dc can climb, but you put noisy toys by the door and you will hear him before he can get in and get there. If he's your oldest, this is a lot easier- you put the hook at the top.

amother

↑ OP ↓

Thu, Aug 15 2024, 6:23 pm

He doesn’t care if I take away a toy or something. For now I told him he’s not allowed to go into any bathroom without permission first and if I catch him in a bathroom without asking me first he has to go to his room. He said ok. Let’s see how long that lasts 🙄

amother

↑ OP ↓

Thu, Aug 15 2024, 6:25 pm

amother Honey wrote:

We installed a hook and eye and he started locking people in the bathroom so we removed it 🤦‍♀️

AshkenazMom

Thu, Aug 15 2024, 6:25 pm

Perhaps you can offer him something where he can relief that "need". I am thinking on a bucket with water and a lid where he can throw toys inside and make them disappear or something like that.
When possible, it is easier, better and cheaper to redirect instead of banging and punishing.

amother

Ecru ↓

Thu, Aug 15 2024, 6:27 pm

amother OP wrote:

How would he feel if he had to call the plumber up himself and tell him that he flushed something down the toilet, it's broken, how much will it cost to come out?

Thats consequences, not a punishment.

amother

Mintcream

Thu, Aug 15 2024, 6:30 pm

amother Blush wrote:

Consequence-he needs to wear a diaper

Omg what?!! Absolutely not

amother

Chestnut ↓

Thu, Aug 15 2024, 6:38 pm

Can you get the plumber to educate him? many ADHD kids are really inquisitive. If the plumber teaches him about pipes and how toys don't fit and he can only flush stuff that fits or is meant to be flushed. Turn it into a science lesson.

Editing to add. just remembered that when my adhd son was this age, I bought him a toy of interconnecting pipes and he would flush marbles down them with water. something like this https://www.temu.com/ul/kuiper.....w_wcB this