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Forum
-> Yom Tov / Holidays
-> Shabbos, Rosh Chodesh, Fast Days, and other Days of Note
villagemom
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Tue, Aug 13 2024, 2:02 pm
It’s my first Tisha B’Av as a mom, and I’m having a really difficult time connecting emotionally and spiritually to the day.
I’m used to going to shul all day and listening to shiurim, but today I’m at home chasing my 9 month old around. I feel bad — like I’m not taking the aveilus of the day seriously enough.
Any advice for making today meaningful with an infant from more experienced moms?
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amother
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Tue, Aug 13 2024, 2:04 pm
I’m with you. Baby and 2 year old and so far I haven’t figured it out. I also can’t switch emotions so fast, so even if my husband offered me an hour break, I can’t start reading or watching sad things that make me cry just to switch back to patient, calm, happy Mommy again.
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amother
Brunette
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Tue, Aug 13 2024, 2:06 pm
Same. Only my baby is 2 months old and my husband is at work all day. I’m just so so tired
It’s hard. I’m trying to listen to whatever I could while baby’s napping. At least I davened
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mushkamothers
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Tue, Aug 13 2024, 4:18 pm
villagemom wrote: | It’s my first Tisha B’Av as a mom, and I’m having a really difficult time connecting emotionally and spiritually to the day.
I’m used to going to shul all day and listening to shiurim, but today I’m at home chasing my 9 month old around. I feel bad — like I’m not taking the aveilus of the day seriously enough.
Any advice for making today meaningful with an infant from more experienced moms? |
I wrote this about Yom Kippur but it's similar enough.
https://mymotheringmindset.com.....ppur/
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amother
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Tue, Aug 13 2024, 4:24 pm
Thanks, it’s really nice. Can I ask you though, what’s going to happen when my babies all grow up? I no longer have the ability to sit through hours of davening-it used to be easy, but since I haven’t done it in years I don’t know how anymore. Is that also part of my job as a mother?
And what of all the kabbalos and things that changed because of those hours of contemplation and inspiration? I find it so hard to make meaningful changes without that meditation that helps me figure out what and how.
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mushkamothers
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Tue, Aug 13 2024, 5:43 pm
amother Petunia wrote: | Thanks, it’s really nice. Can I ask you though, what’s going to happen when my babies all grow up? I no longer have the ability to sit through hours of davening-it used to be easy, but since I haven’t done it in years I don’t know how anymore. Is that also part of my job as a mother?
And what of all the kabbalos and things that changed because of those hours of contemplation and inspiration? I find it so hard to make meaningful changes without that meditation that helps me figure out what and how. | appropriate.
My kids are nowhere near grown so I'm not up to sitting in shul for hours. Right now I also feel like I have no patience for it but maybe by then I will. Also I don't need hours of inspiration like I did when I was a teen. I have life experience and really profound epiphanies from that. Meditation can happen in moments too..
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aria3578
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Tue, Aug 13 2024, 6:17 pm
I find yk to be harder in the sense it’s such a holy day , a day tht effects our whole year. And I barely get a second to daven. Or even think abt charatah etc
Same with rosh hashana
They are days that impact our entire year. Days that we shld be davening. Crying. Begging hashem for a good year.
And we are home taking care of toddlers and counting down till the men come home to help out.
I find tht much harder than 9 av
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amother
Goldenrod
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Tue, Aug 13 2024, 6:19 pm
Also my first w my 9 month old 😌
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