How important hot food Lechayim/Vort

amother

Tue, Aug 13 2024, 6:40 am

Hello
Please can someone tell me how important it is to have the hot food by the lechayim/vort?
Both sides are tight on money.
Just wondering how the young couple will feel without it.
Is it the in thing?
Thank you in advance

smileyface:) ↓

Tue, Aug 13 2024, 6:42 am

This is dependent on community. Where we live lchaim normally doesn’t have hot food and vort does if there is a seperate one

Chayalle ↓

Tue, Aug 13 2024, 6:43 am

For me it wasn't about the young couple. I have family that travels into the vort, and they really appreciate more than a piece of cake and some fruit when they come.
I did a basic package of the cake/kugel/salad, and spent more on the hot food.

↑ Dolly151

Tue, Aug 13 2024, 10:51 am

OOT relatives can go to a local take out and pick up dinner. Or u can have some finger food type thing in ur house and invite OOT family members to swing by after the vort

amother

Sienna ↓

Tue, Aug 13 2024, 10:58 am

If you are tight on money than do what you need to do. However, it's very frustrating to come in with my family only to have to buy food afterwards. It's basic decency to feed your guests.
I have a family member that makes a VERY simple vort. I have to go as we are a very small side. There is very minimal food and it is very hard to have kids crying for food and I am forced to go out afterwards with them or buy food. Everyone including their own married kids live minimum an hour away. It's really basic decency if people are driving in.

amother

Melon ↓

Tue, Aug 13 2024, 10:58 am

amother Violet wrote:

We had no hot food
Sushi
Cakes

Sushi is more expensive than kugel, the point is the cost, not the heat imo

mommyhood

Tue, Aug 13 2024, 11:05 am

I don’t expect a meal at a l’chaim or vort. At this point potato kugel is pretty standard but I don’t expect it or anything more substantial. I’ve taken my kids to pizza before or after when we travel in and need to eat.

amother

Honeydew ↓

Tue, Aug 13 2024, 11:07 am

amother Sienna wrote:

If you are right on money than do what you need to do. However, it's very frustrating to come in with my family only to have to buy food afterwards. It's basic decency to feed your guests.
I have a family member that makes a VERY simple vort. I have to go as we are a very small side. There is very minimal food and it is very hard to have kids crying for food and I am forced to go out afterwards with them or buy food. Everyone including their own married kids live minimal and hour away. It's really basic decency if people are driving in.

Its nice when they have food but if you know they cant afford it pack sandwiches for your family. Or better yet send a platter of something!

amother

DarkPurple ↓

Tue, Aug 13 2024, 11:07 am

If you are tight on money you don't need to do hot food. You can tell the people that are coming from out of town so they can prep accordingly. Hot food costs extra thousands of dollars why do you need to do that for a few families? They can pack food with them or go buy pizza which costs substantially less than paying for hot food for everyone.

amother

↑ Melon ↓

Tue, Aug 13 2024, 11:07 am

amother Honeydew wrote:

Its nice when they have food but if you know they cant afford it pack sandwiches for your family. Or better yet send a platter of something!

sounds like a good idea

amother

↑ DarkPurple ↓

Tue, Aug 13 2024, 11:09 am

amother Sienna wrote:

Why can't you pack food with you? And even if you have to buy some food it's prob way cheaper than for her to pay for a hot catered event. Not sure why it's so frustrating when you know this in advance.

amother

↑ Melon

Tue, Aug 13 2024, 11:09 am

OP, you don't have to order the hot food. When you make potato kugel it costs a fraction of the cost of bought. Also, I'm sure you have friends/neighbors/relatives that may ask what they can help out with. You can always see if it works for them to cook/buy some hot food for you. It doesn't have to be all on you and it doesn't have to be expensive either.

amother

Crocus

Tue, Aug 13 2024, 11:09 am

amother Sienna wrote:

If you know they dont serve real food, it’s on you to plan better. Feed everyone before you go and have real food snacks in the car.

In 25 years (since I was 20 and on), I only remember seeing hot food at a vort one time and it was at the wealthiest person in town’s simcha.

amother

Valerian ↓

Tue, Aug 13 2024, 11:15 am

I had a friend's vort once with a lot of OOT relatives and they were short on money.
At the end of the night her father went out and picked up pizza and fries for all the relatives.
Wasn't that classy but he felt he needed to feed them and that's what he could do.
They were all greatful

amother

↑ Valerian

Tue, Aug 13 2024, 11:16 am

amother Melon wrote:

Did this for a friend's simcha once. Made fresh shnitzel, potato kugel, and franks n blanks.
Hard for a baal simcha to do, but easy enough for a friend or neighbor.

Last edited by amother on Tue, Aug 13 2024, 11:18 am; edited 1 time in total

amother

Almond

Tue, Aug 13 2024, 11:17 am

amother Sienna wrote:

You know they make a simple vort, don’t go hungry. Feed you kids first. Either get to the neighborhood early and go out to eat or bring something with you to eat in the car. Really not so complicated.