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-> Parenting our children
amother
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 Sun, Aug 11 2024, 11:50 am
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With a seemingly unattended child? Someone tried to "intervene" with my 13 year old son yesterday. He looks a little younger than he is, but he doesn't look THAT young. I understand being concerned if you see a toddler out alone, or even older but still definitely little kids. But 13 seems ridiculous to me. And even if the person thought he was younger, I can't imagine them thinking he was younger than 12 or 11. The situation was resolved when someone who knows him passed by and told the concerned citizen that this a recent bar mitzvah bachur who is perfectly capable of walking around town on his own.
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amother
Forestgreen
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Sun, Aug 11 2024, 11:54 am
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A chid that seems lost or a toddler
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amother
Ballota
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Sun, Aug 11 2024, 12:18 pm
| amother OP wrote: | | With a seemingly unattended child? Someone tried to "intervene" with my 13 year old son yesterday. He looks a little younger than he is, but he doesn't look THAT young. I understand being concerned if you see a toddler out alone, or even older but still definitely little kids. But 13 seems ridiculous to me. And even if the person thought he was younger, I can't imagine them thinking he was younger than 12 or 11. The situation was resolved when someone who knows him passed by and told the concerned citizen that this a recent bar mitzvah bachur who is perfectly capable of walking around town on his own. |
I'm sorry for your son. That's so demeaning
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giftedmom
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Sun, Aug 11 2024, 12:22 pm
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lol what. Not in my neck of the woods. I would say younger than two or older if crying or distressed.
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amother
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Sun, Aug 11 2024, 12:25 pm
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Probably not older than 6. What was he doing when someone got involved?
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amother
Celeste
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Sun, Aug 11 2024, 12:26 pm
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Where do you live that this seems unusual? Where I live it's totally normal for a 10 year old boy to walk across the neighborhood on his own. And much younger would walk around the corner alone- maybe 7 or so.
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amother
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Sun, Aug 11 2024, 12:29 pm
| amother Peony wrote: | | Probably not older than 6. What was he doing when someone got involved? |
Just walking to a friend's house. He does sometimes stop to look an interesting things along the way, and he said he had stopped to look at some interesting birds when he was approached.
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amother
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Sun, Aug 11 2024, 12:31 pm
| amother OP wrote: | | Just walking to a friend's house. He does sometimes stop to look an interesting things along the way, and he said he had stopped to look at some interesting birds when he was approached. |
I’m actually more concerned about the person. Maybe he was trying to groom him or get him to share information. Sounds really suspicious. I’d tell him if someone stops you like that run away.
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amother
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Sun, Aug 11 2024, 12:31 pm
| amother Celeste wrote: | | Where do you live that this seems unusual? Where I live it's totally normal for a 10 year old boy to walk across the neighborhood on his own. And much younger would walk around the corner alone- maybe 7 or so. |
It's not unusual, I'm baffled. He has been walking (or biking, when not shabbos) to friends or the park by himself for several years now and never had an issue. The next sibling under him also does now. Like I'm truly scratching my head here.
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amother
Ultramarine
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Sun, Aug 11 2024, 12:32 pm
People have all sorts of ideas.
My 8 year old was running to shul on yom Kippur morning and a policeman stopped him to ask if he's running away from home.
My 9 year old was walking home from school and a stranger insisted she hold his hand to cross the street. She ran away from him but was so upset she came home crying.
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amother
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Sun, Aug 11 2024, 12:36 pm
Maybe we don't know the full story. A teen of any age that looks out of place I may want to confirm that his parent know where he is. Unfortunately many parents don't.
A 13 year old boy shopping in the grocery store or hanging out with friends wouldn't draw my attention. But at 1:00 in the morning talking to loud, crossing dangerous intersection, nearly crashing into people on a electric scooter would draw my attention. I believe that parents should know what their kids are up to at night and unfortunately some parents think their son is good kid and it shouldn't be the case. At the same time a 13 year old boy should not be hanging with older boys that introduce to "just" the e-cig. And "only" in social situations. It's wasn't the worst crime but the parents were grateful that I let them know.
Parent don't have to keep a tracker on their older kids. Just make sure you have a warm open relationship with them. They still need accountability and guidance at that age.
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amother
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Sun, Aug 11 2024, 12:37 pm
| amother Peony wrote: | | I’m actually more concerned about the person. Maybe he was trying to groom him or get him to share information. Sounds really suspicious. I’d tell him if someone stops you like that run away. |
It was a concerned woman pushing a baby in a stroller, so I doubt she was dangerous. Probably a young mom who can't think past toddlerhood. He did start walking away (to continue toward his friend) but the woman followed him and wanted to know where his parents were and that he was too young to be alone. He said I'm old enough and my parents let, and they know where I'm going and she didn't believe him until the guy who knows him from shul walked by and assured the woman it's fine, he's a teenager walking to a friend on shabbos, he knows him and knows he's more than old enough to be out. He thinks the whole incident took less than 5 minutes. But he was very weirded out (and grateful to our shul friend for intervening).
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amother
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Sun, Aug 11 2024, 12:41 pm
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Just read your new message about it being the daytime. No I don't think it's appropriate to intervene. I would think that's very strange.
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