Are your kids wearing white shirts on R"C Av?

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Are your kids wearing white shirts on RC Av?

Yes

47%

[ 35 ]

35%

[ 26 ]

I have no idea!

16%

[ 12 ]

I asked a rav what to do.

[ 0 ]

Total Votes : 73

amother

OP ↓

Sun, Aug 04 2024, 8:32 pm

Title says it all.
If you got a psak from a rav, please share in comments!
Thank you!

giftedmom

Sun, Aug 04 2024, 8:34 pm

No but they never do on Rosh Chodesh

amother

Goldenrod

Sun, Aug 04 2024, 8:35 pm

What? Is it a thing to not wear a white shirt on Rosh Chodesh Av??

BrachaVHatzlocha

Sun, Aug 04 2024, 8:37 pm

thanks for the reminder!! (hopefully he will!)

amother

Lightyellow

Sun, Aug 04 2024, 8:37 pm

Why wouldn’t they? Why do you need a psak?

Blessing1

Sun, Aug 04 2024, 8:37 pm

Why not, if they wear every rosh chodesh?

amother

Blueberry ↓

Sun, Aug 04 2024, 8:42 pm

If your kids wear a shabbos shirt on rosh chodesh, that is not allowed during the nine days as we are not allowed to wear Shabbos clothes during the nine days except on Shabbos.

If your kids wear a special weekday white shirt that is allowed.

My kids (who have special rosh chodesh white polo shirts) will not be wearing them today despite it being allowed halachicly because in their school no one does and I don't want them to stand out.

amother

↑ OP ↓

Sun, Aug 04 2024, 8:47 pm

amother Blueberry wrote:

My kids do not have a specific white shirt for r"c. I give them any. Usually not the nicest one they own! Wink

This is what I was wondering: do most boys do or don't in lakewood? Typical yeshivish camp.
I don't want them to stand out.
My dh thought they don't because it's the 9 days I though they do because of r"c and they do it every r"c.

amother

↑ Blueberry

Sun, Aug 04 2024, 8:58 pm

amother OP wrote:

My kids do not have a specific white shirt for r"c. I give them any. Usually not the nicest one they own! Wink

Ask your rav, my assumption is that he shouldn't. In any case, even if many others do wear white shirts (for right or wrong) there are always a few who forget or won't on ר"ח אב. In e"y in my community, you see most kids wearing non white shirts to school this rosh chodesh.

If you do ask a shaila, please update with the answer.

Side story - years ago, I was in shidduchim and I had a first date during the nine days. I must have said something to the yeshivish shadchan about not wearing shabbos clothes on the date. She insisted that of course I must wear shabbos clothes on the date, as I usually do. I called our Rav who is a major Posek who told me that of course I may not wear Shabbos clothes and he knows some people who would nix a shidduch if the other party wore shabbos clothes during the nine days. (But I was allowed to wear nicer weekday clothes.)

amother

Seafoam

Sun, Aug 04 2024, 8:59 pm

I read a tzetel with halachos that my husband brought home from our dayan. It says no shabbos clothes or white shirt in 9 days even rosh chodesh only exception is a bris.

We're skver chassidim

amother

Blushpink ↓

Sun, Aug 04 2024, 9:05 pm

I’m from Lakewood. My boys are not in camp this summer. I think I remember that it’s around half and half. Half will wear a white shirt and half won’t either because they’re in camp and they don’t want to or because it’s av/ 9 days… either way is fine. It probably depends which camp also. If they’re in camp, for sure not a shabbos shirt. It should be more like a white t-shirt. They won’t stand out in regular shirts.

Success10

Mon, Aug 05 2024, 3:21 am

Our school sent out a note saying it's the school's minhag not to wear white on R"C Av.

ShishKabob ↓

Mon, Aug 05 2024, 6:35 am

My Rav said that if they always wear a white shirt on Rosh Chodesh, then they can wear a white shirt now as well. My kids also have a specific white polo for Rosh Chodesh if that makes a difference.

amother

Whitewash ↓

Mon, Aug 05 2024, 6:55 am

When we made a bris in the 9 days we looked into the halachos and it said that since we don't wear shabbos clothes during the 9 days, even for a bris people shouldn't. Except for the immediate family and sandek.

So I did not put white shirts on my boys today.

amother

↑ Whitewash

Mon, Aug 05 2024, 6:56 am

ShishKabob wrote:

My Rav said that if they always wear a white shirt on Rosh Chodesh, then they can wear a white shirt now as well. My kids also have a specific white polo for Rosh Chodesh if that makes a difference.

Of course that makes a difference. It's not the color that's the issue, it's the fact that you are not allowed to wear shabbos clothes during the 9 days.

erm

Mon, Aug 05 2024, 7:00 am

One son had to wear his camp shirt because they had a trip today and the other is wearing a t-shirt that is white with some design on it. Most boys don’t wear white in the day camp they go to. (Under bar mitzvah age)

↑ ShishKabob

Mon, Aug 05 2024, 7:04 am

amother Whitewash wrote:

Of course that makes a difference. It's not the color that's the issue, it's the fact that you are not allowed to wear shabbos clothes during the 9 days.

I don't think it makes such a difference. When I asked the question, I did not indicate that I had a special shirt for it, just that they wear it each Rosh Chodesh.
The point is, is Shabbos the only time where they wear a white shirt? That makes it exclusive Shabbos 'wear'. If they also wear a white shirt on Rosh Chodesh, it's not exclusive Shabbos wear.
That's the thing.
As you can see, over age bar mitzvah wear white shirts all the time in my place. Of course there are designated Shabbos Shirts that may not be worn during the week.

amother

↑ Blushpink

Mon, Aug 05 2024, 7:41 am

Op, what did you end up doing?
I was driving early this morning and saw little boys wearing white shirts while waiting for the bus. I wrote that my son is not wearing a white shirt today.

amother

Crocus

Mon, Aug 05 2024, 8:23 am

No my boys don't.
the white shirts they always wear on RC are Shabbos shirts. If I had polo white shirts they would wear that I guess.

amother

↑ OP

Tue, Aug 06 2024, 4:18 am

amother Blushpink wrote:

Op, what did you end up doing?
I was driving early this morning and saw little boys wearing white shirts while waiting for the bus. I wrote that my son is not wearing a white shirt today.

We had my grandson's bris so they wore white shirt (wasn't sure about that either!) for that and then my son switched into a colorful t-shirt to go to camp.
But I did look around at little boys waiting for their busses, most of them were wearing white shirt!

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