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-> Chinuch, Education & Schooling
mha3484
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Tue, Jul 30 2024, 2:29 pm
I think OP people are trying to tell you by 12 this isn't a minor issue anymore. I agree with them. I think amother olive had gentle and good advice.
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amother
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Tue, Jul 30 2024, 3:05 pm
amother OP wrote: | I kind of regret posting my question here... For goodness sake, high functioning autisim? Encephalitis? Taking her to a psychiatrist? I feel like u ppl literally jumped to worst possible scenario! She's a great girl, always did well in school, get along beautifully with all neighbors and siblings. Never ever had any issues with her bh bh! I always get compliments on her maturity and charisma. She's really a lovely girl. She just has this one issue that I feel like is coming from a lack of self esteem and complex issues and she's looking to get attention in a negative way. I believe she's forging a real friendship Bec she's complexed that nobody really wants to be her friend. That's the part I feel like needs to get addressed. She bh needs no psychiatrist or blood work done. Not sure why this place always runs to the most negative thing. Kids can have minor issues and just with the right tools, can be helped iyh. That's all that I'm looking for. |
You are getting such strong reactions because what you posted is really not normal. Don’t downplay it get her help. No here can diagnose. But please dont normalize her behavior.
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Chayalle
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Tue, Jul 30 2024, 3:15 pm
I don't think what you describe is a minor issue, OP. But neither do you have to jump to major medical diagnoses. It definitely sounds like therapy is indicated for this.
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amother
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Tue, Jul 30 2024, 3:29 pm
amother OP wrote: | I kind of regret posting my question here... For goodness sake, high functioning autisim? Encephalitis? Taking her to a psychiatrist? I feel like u ppl literally jumped to worst possible scenario! She's a great girl, always did well in school, get along beautifully with all neighbors and siblings. Never ever had any issues with her bh bh! I always get compliments on her maturity and charisma. She's really a lovely girl. She just has this one issue that I feel like is coming from a lack of self esteem and complex issues and she's looking to get attention in a negative way. I believe she's forging a real friendship Bec she's complexed that nobody really wants to be her friend. That's the part I feel like needs to get addressed. She bh needs no psychiatrist or blood work done. Not sure why this place always runs to the most negative thing. Kids can have minor issues and just with the right tools, can be helped iyh. That's all that I'm looking for. |
Ignore the extreme reactions, you will always have some of those. It’s definitely something a trained professional needs to deal with before it gets worse. Start a new thread and ask for a therapist for a teen in your location or call relief.
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amother
Holly
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Tue, Jul 30 2024, 3:31 pm
This could unfortunately be indicative of a personality disorder. I would go to a psychiatrist to assess. I don’t want to scare you but my daughter had similar issues and that’s what it turned out to be. They don’t diagnose it until 18 but they can give you ideas on what to do
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amother
Bergamot
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Tue, Jul 30 2024, 3:36 pm
I used to make up stories too. Was more an attention thing then anything else. Like I thought that will make me special and get me more friends. A bit of therapy and social skill help probably would've helped me but I stopped doing it eventually probably around the time I made real friends.
However, the stories were nowhere near op daughter. Was small things to try make myself feel specially but in retrospect I must've looked socially off.
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amother
Bronze
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Tue, Jul 30 2024, 3:39 pm
Idk OP. I can't see an otherwise mature, charismatic and 100% typically developing 12yo do something like this out of the blue. You yourself said she always struggled to make and hold onto friends. There's something deeper going on here than just a little bump.
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amother
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Wed, Aug 07 2024, 4:51 pm
OP, I suggest you take her to a psychologist before a psychiatrist or social work or LMHC.
You will save yourself lots of money, time and repetitive appointments.
He will test her and figure out what part of her problem is organic (nature she was born with) and what part came about due to coping mechanisms or whether its induced by illness.
(Theoretical) Example: mom thinks childs speech is excellent, eloquent with high vocabulary, but in reality has an expressive language issue which needs a speech pathologist. A mental health therapist will go on a runaway train with her and only help her to stay out of trouble. Child tries to have friends, is stable but develops anxiety and needs meds..
I have someone excellent in Brooklyn.
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amother
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Sat, Aug 10 2024, 10:57 pm
amother OP wrote: | I kind of regret posting my question here... For goodness sake, high functioning autisim? Encephalitis? Taking her to a psychiatrist? I feel like u ppl literally jumped to worst possible scenario! She's a great girl, always did well in school, get along beautifully with all neighbors and siblings. Never ever had any issues with her bh bh! I always get compliments on her maturity and charisma. She's really a lovely girl. She just has this one issue that I feel like is coming from a lack of self esteem and complex issues and she's looking to get attention in a negative way. I believe she's forging a real friendship Bec she's complexed that nobody really wants to be her friend. That's the part I feel like needs to get addressed. She bh needs no psychiatrist or blood work done. Not sure why this place always runs to the most negative thing. Kids can have minor issues and just with the right tools, can be helped iyh. That's all that I'm looking for. |
Hfa people are not less than people.
They are beautiful, functional people who can lead beautiful, functional lives.
They just need their mothers to do the right thing.
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amother
Banana
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Sat, Aug 10 2024, 11:33 pm
Oh my I feel so deeply for you and your daughter. I was like this when I was 12 too, exaggerated and lied and made my life sound dysfunctional to my friends. They told their parents who told the school, who then called my mother in for a meeting. She was heartbroken and so angry at me for bringing shame to the family like this and honestly our relationship hasn’t recovered since. She didn’t send me for therapy or get me any help, she just demonized me and yelled at me and I don’t think ever forgave me for the embarrassment that I caused her. I felt so alone. I lost all my friends because they didn’t want to be friends with a liar and my family thought I was utterly insane and were furious with me. It was very painful.
Please stay on your daughter’s side here. She is struggling socially and she tried lying and sensationalizing her life in a desperate bid for attention and friendship. Obviously not a smart or effective move but she is 12 and clearly in a lot of emotional pain.
I didn’t go for therapy and still struggle a lot socially but I haven’t lied since I was caught lying at 12. I do have a few friends. There’s hope for your daughter. I think therapy can be helpful just to give her some support and someone to talk to.
I really hope my post is helpful to you. I really relate to your daughter. Feel free to ask any questions.
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