I think there's something wrong with me

Log in / Sign Up

List of Forums + New Post Recipe Box Usergroups Following My Posts Bookmarks

Private Messages Rules New User Guide FAQ Advertise Contact Us

Forum -> Health & Wellness -> Healthy Lifestyle/ Weight Loss/ Exercise

1 2 Next

View latest: 24h 48h 72h

amother

OP ↓

Mon, Jul 29 2024, 7:13 am

Days like today I feel like there is literally something wrong with me. I know I have a binge eating disorder but I cannot seem to do anything to manage it. I feel like a crazy person. Bingeing keeps me insanely obese. I can eat well and take care of my health and then I binge and I undo everything so I'm never losing weight. When I binge I get so sick. This is why I think I'm crazy. What kind of sane person eats in a way that makes them literally sick? My entire gastro system goes insane from the overload of carbs and sugar. I have horrible burping, gas, constipation, cramping, diheria and nausea. It affects my life. I can't sleep or go places while this happens. I know this will happen but I still binge.

Here's what I've tried and learned:
-Its not emotional eating. I've done a ton of therapy around this. I do not binge to relieve any feelings. I binge to quiet the raging cravings to binge. The binge craving is the desire to eat whatever I want as much as want for as long as I want.
-cutting out food groups makes bingeing worse not better. My bingeing was not as bad until I started cutting out carbs and doing extreme diets. Now my binges can last 2 days.
- I've done nutritionist diets, keto, weight watchers, intuitive eating, paid for a bunch of programs, read tens of books, spent thousands of hours researching, reading, watching anything that can help me. I did overeaters anonymous because it really feels like an addiction. I've had no success with anything beyond 3 months. That's as long as my body will resist the bingeing.
- I'm on medication to help with bingeing, it has side affects that I really don't love but it helps a little bit. The problem is it only helps for a few hours a day, the side affects are unpleasant and I'm still battling urges the rest of the day.
-due to family health history, I am not a candidate for the weightloss shots.
- my doctor does not believe that surgery will help me. Surgery will not reduce my cravings and if I binge now to a point of pain and suffering, I will overeat after surgery as well and it will be pointless.

I'm literally sitting here crying. I'm davening to Hashem to remove these crazy urges to binge eating food. I don't know what else to do. I'm already taking mediation that compromises my quality of life to help with this. I have so much shame and disgust with myself, some days I just don't even want to wake up. I don't understand why an intelligent person like me cannot take control over what I put in my mouth in a long term kind of way.

My stomach is killing, I feel nauseous and gross, and I just want this to end. I've wasted so many years of my life, time, money, programs, mental energy and I'm literally in the same place I've been for the last 10 years.

amother

Jean ↓

Mon, Jul 29 2024, 8:10 am

Have you ever approached it from a neurological or medical perspective?

amother

Peachpuff

Mon, Jul 29 2024, 8:39 am

Would it help if you changed your mindset? A binge, even a two-day binge, is a setback, not a rout. You can gain a few pounds in two days, but not much more than that. The real damage is mental: you give up, tell yourself you blew it, there's no point to trying, and continue your destructive eating. It's not the individual binge that keeps you overweight but the continued overeating between binges.

Now if you change your mindset, compare yourself after the binge not to where you were the day before the binge but where you were when you started watching your weight--iow, acknowledge that you suffered a setback but celebrate the fact that you're still X lbs. thinner than you were three months ago--you can avoid those feelings of hopelessness and defeat. And of course, having been thrown off a horse, you must get right back in the saddle and start afresh.

Do you suffer from all-or-nothing thinking? Do you believe that you must never consume "bad" foods, and once you taste a "forbidden" food you've blown it anyway so you may as well continue? This way of thinking is as common as it is defeatist.

I have no advice about extinguishing the cravings. Have you tried distracting yourself when cravings hit? As in getting out of the kitchen and going off to do something else, like taking a shower, calling a friend on the phone or going for a walk until the cravings subside?
You say you've done therapy, but maybe the therapy was the wrong kind. Nobody is born with such powerfully destructive hunger. Apparently you no longer sense when your body is full and so you continue eating until your body's distress signals can no longer be ignored. Maybe you need therapy, not to find out what forgotten trauma brought on this condition so much as to learn how to halt a binge in its tracks so that you stop eating at an appropriate point.

amother

↑ OP ↓

Mon, Jul 29 2024, 8:41 am

amother Jean wrote:

Have you ever approached it from a neurological or medical perspective?

Yes I am on medication that is supposed to help. It has difficult side affects and it only barely helps.

I go to the doctor monthly to work on this. There isn't a magic pill that removes cravings from your body. Only the shots can do that officially but I am not a candidate. I'm not. Sure what other approaches there are.

amother

↑ Jean ↓

Mon, Jul 29 2024, 8:43 am

amother OP wrote:

Maybe a functional approach if you're open to that.

amother

SandyBrown

Mon, Jul 29 2024, 8:46 am

Read Ultra Processed People, fascinating book about processed foods and what it does to the body.

amother

Wine

Mon, Jul 29 2024, 8:46 am

I don't know what meds you are on, but are you being treated for OCD? There are medications that tend to be low on side effects that can be very helpful for it. And this seems very obsessive and compulsive. Examples are Luvox (for anxiety/OCD) and Naltrexone, which is aimed at addictions but can be useful here, blocking the positive signals the body gets from satisfying a craving.

amother

↑ Jean ↓

Mon, Jul 29 2024, 8:53 am

amother Wine wrote:

Agree with all of this

amother

Springgreen

Mon, Jul 29 2024, 11:50 am

Rachel Wringley on youtube is an expert on this; she talks about it all the time

amother

↑ OP ↓

Mon, Jul 29 2024, 12:03 pm

I don't keep bingeing forever, but bingeing for 2 days a week is keeping me obese. I can't lose weight this way.
I don't have OCD or a psychiatrist, I can't imagine being prescribed this medication because I binge eat. Either way those meds cause weight gain as a side affect so that seems silly.
Are you saying that this is a compulsion (it does feel that way) and it should be medically treated as such? It doesn't feel like obsessive thoughts but rather urges that once they start cannot be silenced unless I actually just give in and binge.
I don't binge daily.
I actually enjoy healthy foods, I just can't seem to stick to any long term eating plan.

amother

Diamond

Mon, Jul 29 2024, 1:03 pm

Hi dietitian here.

Two suggestions that I’ve found helped clients with binge eating disorder. What most people find is that they eat well during the day and then get the insane cravings towards the evening. Firstly if your on medication for it, take it at a time where it can cover you during the evening/night hours. Secondly most of the time the cravings are coming from blood sugar imbalance. If you look into the consistent carbohydrate diet people find it extremely helpful. The basic premise is keeping your blood sugar stable theoughout the day by eat the same amount of carbs every two or three hours together with protein/fat. It’s obviously more complex but look into it. If ur able to keep ur blood sugar stable you may be able to prevent the cravings…

Secondly if that doesn’t work I would think about trying OA.

Good luck!!

BmoreBubby

Mon, Jul 29 2024, 1:05 pm

amother OP wrote:

I really feel for you and this may be a question that you already answered, but it's not clear to me from your post. When you binge, what are you bingeing on? Because this is clearly a desperate situation and maybe borderline "emergency" - what would happen next time you got the urge if the only foods available were raw vegetables? I'm asking hypothetically. I'm not saying to cut out any food group, I'm asking about a hypothetical situation where the binge-foods are literally not in the house, so in order to binge you'd have to get in the car and go shopping? I'm not asking if it's realistic, I'm asking if it were possible, what would happen. Some people are genetically more inclined to binge - that doesn't mean it's impossible, it does mean that it's a big challenge and I'm confident that with the right game plan and support from your family you can succeed.

amother

↑ Jean

Mon, Jul 29 2024, 1:56 pm

amother OP wrote:

Yes, compulsive eating can be an ocd and can respond to ocd medication.

I don't think naltrexone causes weight gain. It works on opiate receptors and is used with drug addictions and overdose.

amother

Snapdragon

Mon, Jul 29 2024, 2:13 pm

Delete.
I wrote about weight loss shots but saw in OP you can't do it.

amother

Junglegreen

Mon, Jul 29 2024, 2:33 pm

You seem like a good candidate for the shots. Why can’t you take them?

amother

↑ OP ↓

Mon, Jul 29 2024, 2:37 pm

amother Springgreen wrote:

Rachel Wringley on youtube is an expert on this; she talks about it all the time

I actually really resonate with everything she says but she doesn't offer any solutions. I've watched numerous videos and she doesn't actually give advice. Have you seen or heard any tips from her?

amother

↑ OP ↓

Mon, Jul 29 2024, 2:39 pm

amother Diamond wrote:

I tried OA, I lost weight very short term and then binged for 4 months.

Interesting idea about consistency. I will look into this thank you.

amother

↑ OP ↓

Mon, Jul 29 2024, 2:42 pm

BmoreBubby wrote:

I have never been in a situation where the only foods around were fruits and vegetables. I binge on carbs. Cutting out carbs makes the urge to binge more intense and eventually the binge is huge because I've been off it for so long.

amother

↑ OP ↓

Mon, Jul 29 2024, 2:43 pm

amother Jean wrote:

Yes, compulsive eating can be an ocd and can respond to ocd medication.

I don't think naltrexone causes weight gain. It works on opiate receptors and is used with drug addictions and overdose.

I will speak to my doctor about this.

PrairieFairy ↓

Mon, Jul 29 2024, 3:40 pm

This sounds really tough OP, sending hugs!

I know you said you aren't eating emotionally, would you be able to explain a bit more about how you came to that conclusion.

Based on your post, it seems like there is an emotional component, just not in the way you are assuming.

In my understanding from your post, "emotional eating" is stuffing feelings that you don't want to face.

I'm noticing more of the emotions feeling trapped, limited, suffocated and the like and looking for feelings of freedom.

Does this resonate with you?

Also wondering about what version of OA did you try (it seems that was longest stint but then maybe it was the longest "limiting/trapped" feeling so resulted in the longest lasting binge).

I work with people who struggle with these kinds of things and looking at it from a different angle might benefit you...one of compassion and working through the guilt and shame first so that those factors aren't adding as much interference. Then approach it with a perspective of curiosity. What is the hunger telling you? What is the food dialogue telling you? There can be a lot there that is not even food related but the shame/guilt blocks you from hearing that intuitive voice that is exhibiting as a craving.

It also seems like each approach you are trying is seemingly still trying to control your food...but if you're feeling the feelings of trappedness, the external decision of control might add fuel to the fire so makes sense it wouldn't last.

Also. Just want to add a correction to the other poster that said no one is born with this kind of hunger....people with Prader-Willi syndrome are. There is no cure for that. I don't think you have that as you'd be binging more frequently. However, you might benefit from researching that condition and using some tools that people with that condition use. I'd use this as a last resort because based on your post, there are still options for you.

Prader-Willi syndrome has basically no options other than acceptance and locking food away.

Page 1 of 2

1 2 Next