Do you really think Hashem wants us to wear lacetops?

amother

Wed, Jul 24 2024, 4:56 am

Do you really think Hashem wants us to cover our hair with lace top wigs that are many times more attractive to men then our own hair and many times not obvious at all that it’s a wig?

amother

Vermilion

Wed, Jul 24 2024, 5:00 am

I really don’t think He cares, I think He’s happy that my natural hair is covered.
And btw my natural hair is beautiful and I miss wearing it, and I also have sensory issues and covering it is uncomfortable. So I think I get extra schar for that.

amother

Bisque ↓

Wed, Jul 24 2024, 5:03 am

amother OP wrote:

Do you really think Hashem wants us to cover our hair with lace top wigs that are many times more attractive to men then our own hair and many times not obvious at all that it’s a wig?

Hashem wants us to cover our hair. Hair becomes holy after a woman gets married and needs to be covered. The point of kisoi harosh is not to look ugly.
It’s not an ugly contest that whoever looks the least pretty did the mitzva the best. Some people may choose to cover with a scarf, double covering, lace top, depending on their custom and connection to this mitzva. What do you care how other people cover?

amother

Amethyst

Wed, Jul 24 2024, 5:12 am

Its a very hard one.

I would put your question to a Rov and ask his opinion.

Asking here will rub people the wrong way.

Signed,
Always said I will not wear a lace ,but Im on the fence now, and dont judge a1 who does.

shabbatiscoming ↓

Wed, Jul 24 2024, 5:20 am

amother Crocus wrote:

Yes.

Do you really think Hashem wants you to judge women for what they use to cover their hair?

None of us mear mortals can answer your question.
So many women cover how orhers dont.
Dont judge. Stay in your lane. Worry about yourself and your yiddishkeit.

amother

Hosta

Wed, Jul 24 2024, 5:25 am

My guess is He doesn't like it. But what He hates even more is sinas chinam. That is for sure.

So I'd personally skip the lace for myself but not judge other people.

amother

Thistle

Wed, Jul 24 2024, 5:28 am

Ok so maybe I won’t cover at all? My natural hair is pretty ugly so I wouldn’t have a problem with attracting anyone.

I don’t get why people have so many issues with lace wigs, I can finally feel beautiful for myself and my husband. Let us live in peace. The mitzvah is to cover our hair and if wigs would’ve been such an issue it would’ve never been allowed the same way we don’t eat non-kosher food.

amother

NeonBlue ↓

Wed, Jul 24 2024, 5:40 am

Hard yes.
And in general I am sure that he is freakin proud of the jewish women I am and the journey I have made in my life.
What about your journey is making hashem proud?

amother

Dandelion ↓

Wed, Jul 24 2024, 5:44 am

ask your rov
everyone can ask their own rov

this is really not the time for any divisive topics or finger pointing
DLKZ
assume each has asked their rov

b'achdus nenatzayach

Ruchi ↓

Wed, Jul 24 2024, 5:47 am

amother OP wrote:

Do you really think Hashem wants us to cover our hair with lace top wigs that are many times more attractive to men then our own hair and many times not obvious at all that it’s a wig?

How can Hashem be happy if the wig actually defeats the very purpose it was intended for?
I don't wear a lace top but as it is , I feel and my moral conscience tells me that my lovely human hair wig is not the ideal thing.
Covering one human hair with another human hair? It doesn't sound right.
Wigs were a modern invention and the original ones looked like straw. Back then it was a big deal to wear the straw looking wig. But now, it's descended into something that can be even more beautiful and luscious looking, than ones own hair.
There's no two ways about it, there's been a decline and I come guilty as charged. I wish I'd have tne courage and strength to change.

amother

↑ Dandelion ↓

Wed, Jul 24 2024, 5:48 am

We need moshiach now!
What have you done to bring Moshiach now?

We can each ask ourselves this question.
And refer to our mission statement.
To make this world a dwelling place for Hashem.
Get guidance for yourself from a good rov.

Hatzlocha!

↑ Ruchi ↓

Wed, Jul 24 2024, 5:50 am

Whoever feels triggered or somehow self- guilt tripped by the OPs post, shouldn't attack or bash her. In fact, you don't need to respondst at all. Turn a blind eye and press the ⬅️ key.

amother

Springgreen ↓

Wed, Jul 24 2024, 5:54 am

Ruchi wrote:

Whoever feels triggered or somehow self- guilt tripped by the OPs post, shouldn't attack or bash her. In fact, you don't need to respondst at all. Turn a blind eye and press the ⬅️ key.

Since you posted upthread that you feel you shouldn’t be wearing regular wigs either, the self guilt part applies to you. It’s kind of ironic for you to tell others to do something you are clearly ignoring yourself

amother

Powderblue

Wed, Jul 24 2024, 5:56 am

I can’t imagine spending my time thinking about how other frum women’s tznius doesn't meet my standards. How sad for you, op.

The God that I know is judging you a whole lot more than me sweating in my lacetop wig through the summer.

amother

↑ Dandelion ↓

Wed, Jul 24 2024, 5:57 am

disagreeing does not mean feeling guilty or triggered etc

it means many including myself have a fundamentally different viewpoint from Op

wasn't that what she asked for? our viewpoints?

we are answering her question

no one is bashing

if you have a different opinion please feel free to share it

no need to force others to march in lockstep in action or words
I don't feel it is following my rov to agree when others try to judge or force others to conform to their way of following Torah and mitzvos. We each have our own rov and community
I do encourage open respectful give and take
I don't shut down others who may share opinions which differ from mine
that is mutually respectful

that's communication

Mi K'amcha Yisroel!

imaima ↓

Wed, Jul 24 2024, 5:58 am

amother OP wrote:

Do you really think Hashem wants us to cover our hair with lace top wigs that are many times more attractive to men then our own hair and many times not obvious at all that it’s a wig?

Do you think you understand the meaning of the mitzvah of covering hair?

↑ imaima

Wed, Jul 24 2024, 6:00 am

amother NeonBlue wrote:

Hard yes.
And in general I am sure that he is freakin proud of the jewish women I am and the journey I have made in my life.
What about your journey is making hashem proud?

He surely appreciates the monetary sacrifice many women do to fulfill the mitzvah with human lacetop wig as opposed to cheaper options. And how it keeps sheitelmachers and other people in the industry going

↑ Ruchi ↓

Wed, Jul 24 2024, 6:02 am

amother Springgreen wrote:

This has nothing to do with op's post. It's the way I always felt about it. Op's post has not triggered me or made me suddenly feel guilty. I Was just being honest and sharing my thoughts and opinion.
I'm not sure why you are viewing it in a negative light and forming an incorrect assumption.