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Forum
-> Household Management
-> Finances
amother
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 Mon, Jul 22 2024, 7:23 pm
Haven’t gone to dentist in over a year cuz it’s too expensive
Didn’t buy new glasses when my prescription changed bc not covered and can’t afford it. Wasn’t such a crazy increase
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boat
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Mon, Jul 22 2024, 7:48 pm
| amother Winterberry wrote: | | I haven’t bought new sheets since I got married. I just use whatever sheets I have with whatever linen I use (I have gotten new duvets bc was desperate…) but they don’t match and it bothers me. I have 48 inch beds so can only get from Jewish stores |
You could buy full size sheets.
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amother
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Mon, Jul 22 2024, 8:26 pm
| amother Burntblack wrote: | I listened to a pre pesach speech from a woman that said, Pesach is cheirus. One of the ways of cheirus is to think freely. Think that you want cleaning help for the entire week, not just for the 2 hours that you can afford. Think big! Think of getting yourself a new sheitel, not just splurging on a wash and set!
This means freedom, not to be confined to the dollars and cents.
I loved the message!
Also, ladies, Hashem has the ability to give us what we ask for and even what we don't ask for, lets try not to limit Him in what he wants to bestow on us.
Living within your means is terrific. Demeaning yourself and not valuing yourself as a person by wearing torn clothing is not what He wants or asks of us. We are Bnos Melochim.
Open your hearts and minds and allow Hashem to make it easier for us.
He doesn't need us to be scrimping like that.
Lots of parnossa for all of Am Yisroel! |
Thia sounds really wonderful. I were brought up to think that the way we set our standards, that's the way Hashem helps.
But at the end of the day, a person has to live within their means. How can I splurge $2,000 on a new wig when we're barely covering tuition? Or any other expenses for that matter?
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amother
Pear
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Mon, Jul 22 2024, 8:28 pm
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Wow this thread! I don't have money and am always scriimping and saving but this thread feels like I splurge all day! It's a new level. I guess Im a big spender after all. Even though I never spend.
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Trademark
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Mon, Jul 22 2024, 8:32 pm
| amother Pear wrote: | | Wow this thread! I don't have money and am always scriimping and saving but this thread feels like I splurge all day! It's a new level. I guess Im a big spender after all. Even though I never spend. |
Many examples on here are extreme frugality. Doesn't mean you're a big spender.
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amother
Aqua
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Mon, Jul 22 2024, 9:44 pm
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used a bed as a couch in living room, got free sugar packets from local coffee shop to use instead of buying sugar, I go to several food pantries each week to save on buying food since DH isn't working for health reasons and we don't qualify for snap, I hand wash stockings so they don't tear in wash so I don't have to buy new ones. I coupon like crazy and manage to get lot's of items for free or super cheap. I walk wherever I need to go so I don't have to pay for Ubers. Sometimes I walk 2 miles if needed it's great exercise so I don't need a gym membership! For days off like chol hamoed we only do free things like hiking.
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amother
Calendula
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Tue, Jul 23 2024, 12:47 am
| amother Winterberry wrote: | | You might wanna ask a rav abt washing them bc what if something doesn’t come fully off? |
Nothing wrong with washing B.cloths. What do you think women did in the old days? Wasn't small square pieces of cloth. I think they had a white piece of cloth that was used over and over again.
I was travelling and needed a cloth so wen into a fabric store and bought a yard of thin white material.
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amother
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Tue, Jul 23 2024, 2:08 am
| amother Cornsilk wrote: | I come from a line of fabulously frugal ladies (like, washing and reusing ziploc bags). I can probably out-frugal everyone. I will always find a deal. A lot of things posted here are common sense - shop around for sales, buy only on sale, use every bit of food in creative ways, utilize free groups and thrift stores, buy generic instead of name brand, etc, repair clothing.
As I got older (and married a normal husband) I understood that it's also very much mindset.
It took me a long time to understand that if you stay in a pinched mindset then you stay pinched.
Now, doesn't mean I'm still not frugal. I still do all of the above. but I also understand that my time, energy, and gas also cost. it's not necessarily actually worth it to shlep around to 5 different stores, or drive really far to the cheaper store.
I've learned to open my mind to new opportunities and focus on generating MORE money not on focusing my energy on keeping the few pennies in my pocket.
Disagree if you want. Tell me the numbers don't lie. This has been my experience. I see the difference between me and my siblings radically. Ironically one has actual money and investments and assets and still won't spend a dollar and her whole family suffers for it. |
This. I grew up in a household where only cereal and certain other foods were bought if it was on sale. A few stores to get different sales. We never were allowed to order pastas the very few times we went out a year because it’s a waste of money because it’s cheap to make at home…. A few of my siblings still live like that and I think it’s so unhealthy. Obviously you can shop smart- but if you’re running around -your time, energy and gas costs too. And I 1000% agree on better to use that time to create more income so you don’t have to live miserly.
Saving cheap and scarcely used items that they may need one day is also a very frugal and miserly mindset. Both are completely unhealthy imo. And not admirable traits at all… being generous is a beautiful middah. Yes you may have to live frugally if you’re extremely tight and in survival mode but when you’re just picking and choosing what to spend on and in certain areas you are living really frugally it’s just odd and unhealthy. I have neighbors who dress their kids from Walmart sale racks and consignment shops but just built a mansion. Don’t get it…
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amother
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Tue, Jul 23 2024, 3:04 am
| amother DarkCyan wrote: | This. I grew up in a household where only cereal and certain other foods were bought if it was on sale. A few stores to get different sales. We never were allowed to order pastas the very few times we went out a year because it’s a waste of money because it’s cheap to make at home…. A few of my siblings still live like that and I think it’s so unhealthy. Obviously you can shop smart- but if you’re running around -your time, energy and gas costs too. And I 1000% agree on better to use that time to create more income so you don’t have to live miserly.
Saving cheap and scarcely used items that they may need one day is also a very frugal and miserly mindset. Both are completely unhealthy imo. And not admirable traits at all… being generous is a beautiful middah. Yes you may have to live frugally if you’re extremely tight and in survival mode but when you’re just picking and choosing what to spend on and in certain areas you are living really frugally it’s just odd and unhealthy. I have neighbors who dress their kids from Walmart sale racks and consignment shops but just built a mansion. Don’t get it… |
There is nothing wrong with Walmart or consignment shops. Just because you won't do that it doesn't make it "off". Some people would rather a comfortable home than spending hundreds on clothing that rip, stain or will be outgrown within months. I find that wasteful.
As long as the clothing is neat and presentable it doesn't have to be latest fashion or name brand. My baby doesn't need the $50 onesie. Or have it match their $100 blanket. Target or carter's is fine. And I think the little puppies on it are cute. He doesn't need to look like a beige couch. Color is fine on kids.
People have different priorities. Once you have money to spend- some do it on activities. Some a level of comfort. Some clothing. Some food. Just because someone else chose a different way of life doesn't make it unhealthy.
Honestly, my sanity would be a lot better if I had physical space. I would wear the same 3 outfits over and over if it meant we had a yard, a play area... I would do laundry daily if it meant my kids had space to be.
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Bnei Berak 10
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Tue, Jul 23 2024, 3:16 am
| amother DarkCyan wrote: | This. I grew up in a household where only cereal and certain other foods were bought if it was on sale. A few stores to get different sales. We never were allowed to order pastas the very few times we went out a year because it’s a waste of money because it’s cheap to make at home…. A few of my siblings still live like that and I think it’s so unhealthy. Obviously you can shop smart- but if you’re running around -your time, energy and gas costs too. And I 1000% agree on better to use that time to create more income so you don’t have to live miserly.
Saving cheap and scarcely used items that they may need one day is also a very frugal and miserly mindset. Both are completely unhealthy imo. And not admirable traits at all… being generous is a beautiful middah. Yes you may have to live frugally if you’re extremely tight and in survival mode but when you’re just picking and choosing what to spend on and in certain areas you are living really frugally it’s just odd and unhealthy. I have neighbors who dress their kids from Walmart sale racks and consignment shops but just built a mansion. Don’t get it… |
Your neighbours dressing kids in Walmart and consignment shop clothes but build mansions have the smart mindset.
Who says you need to dress your kids in expensive clothing just because you have an expensive large house?
I want your to please tell us what exactly is wrong to dress kids in Walmart.
Consignment shops are the best! Upscale brands gently used at a great price. What's wrong with that?
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LovesHashem
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Tue, Jul 23 2024, 3:31 am
| amother Buttercup wrote: | There is nothing wrong with Walmart or consignment shops. Just because you won't do that it doesn't make it "off". Some people would rather a comfortable home than spending hundreds on clothing that rip, stain or will be outgrown within months. I find that wasteful.
As long as the clothing is neat and presentable it doesn't have to be latest fashion or name brand. My baby doesn't need the $50 onesie. Or have it match their $100 blanket. Target or carter's is fine. And I think the little puppies on it are cute. He doesn't need to look like a beige couch. Color is fine on kids.
People have different priorities. Once you have money to spend- some do it on activities. Some a level of comfort. Some clothing. Some food. Just because someone else chose a different way of life doesn't make it unhealthy.
Honestly, my sanity would be a lot better if I had physical space. I would wear the same 3 outfits over and over if it meant we had a yard, a play area... I would do laundry daily if it meant my kids had space to be. |
Yup. I also buy end of season for the next year, which is how I buy a 25 dollar outfit for less than 10 dollars.
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amother
Pistachio
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Tue, Jul 23 2024, 4:55 am
| amother Pear wrote: | | Wow this thread! I don't have money and am always scriimping and saving but this thread feels like I splurge all day! It's a new level. I guess Im a big spender after all. Even though I never spend. |
No, you’re normal. This thread isn’t.
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amother
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Tue, Jul 23 2024, 5:04 am
| Bnei Berak 10 wrote: | Your neighbours dressing kids in Walmart and consignment shop clothes but build mansions have the smart mindset.
Who says you need to dress your kids in expensive clothing just because you have an expensive large house?
I want your to please tell us what exactly is wrong to dress kids in Walmart.
Consignment shops are the best! Upscale brands gently used at a great price. What's wrong with that? |
That's your opinion, I'm not doing either one but I had a lot of respect for people like my grandmother who dressed very elegantly - she wore expensive classy clothing. Each outfit lasted her for many years. And she lived in a rented apartment for many many years. She actually only bought an apartment when she was in her 80s. She looked beautiful every day and that was important to her. Building a mansion to me is a total waste of money. My opinion.
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amother
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Tue, Jul 23 2024, 5:23 am
| amother Ultramarine wrote: | | That's your opinion, I'm not doing either one but I had a lot of respect for people like my grandmother who dressed very elegantly - she wore expensive classy clothing. Each outfit lasted her for many years. And she lived in a rented apartment for many many years. She actually only bought an apartment when she was in her 80s. She looked beautiful every day and that was important to her. Building a mansion to me is a total waste of money. My opinion. |
Hate to break it to you. Your three year old won't look elegant for more than an hour or two anyway, and if his outfits are lasting many years there's something wrong with his growth.
Your kids can look great and cheap prices if you shop well, but it's more about whether you let them be kids or make them keep their clothes neat.
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amother
Thistle
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Tue, Jul 23 2024, 5:33 am
| Bnei Berak 10 wrote: | Your neighbours dressing kids in Walmart and consignment shop clothes but build mansions have the smart mindset.
Who says you need to dress your kids in expensive clothing just because you have an expensive large house?
I want your to please tell us what exactly is wrong to dress kids in Walmart.
Consignment shops are the best! Upscale brands gently used at a great price. What's wrong with that? |
Exactly! My brother thinks we're really tight but we have a nice big house. They live in a tiny house and splurge on clothes and stuff.
Also they don't have huge yeshiva monthly tuition bills to pay. They only have little kids...
It's all about prioritising.
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Reality
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Tue, Jul 23 2024, 5:47 am
| Bnei Berak 10 wrote: | Your neighbours dressing kids in Walmart and consignment shop clothes but build mansions have the smart mindset.
Who says you need to dress your kids in expensive clothing just because you have an expensive large house?
I want your to please tell us what exactly is wrong to dress kids in Walmart.
Consignment shops are the best! Upscale brands gently used at a great price. What's wrong with that? |
I very strongly disagree. Neither way of living is good.
I think spending on expensive designer clothes is the biggest waste of money. But if your the kind of person who is buying a mansion to live in, don't do it on the backs of your kids. If you think these kids are going to be emotionally healthy, think again. Mom and Dad prioritize everything else over them.
The middle road is always the healthiest. Live in a normal sized house and upgrade on the few things that are most important to you. Buy your kids clothes mostly on sale/well priced and buy your older kids a couple of things that they really care about.
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amother
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Tue, Jul 23 2024, 6:44 am
| amother Burntblack wrote: | | What's so shocking about buying second hand furniture? You don't have to be dirt poor for that... |
Most people that buy second hand furniture look for matching sets/ things that they like. Unless someone needs a piece of furniture NOW they look out for a good deal that they like.
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amother
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Tue, Jul 23 2024, 7:14 am
| amother OP wrote: | Thia sounds really wonderful. I were brought up to think that the way we set our standards, that's the way Hashem helps.
But at the end of the day, a person has to live within their means. How can I splurge $2,000 on a new wig when we're barely covering tuition? Or any other expenses for that matter? |
So don’t buy a 2000 new wig. Buy a 1200 one or whatever it is.(if you can’t find in your color for that price get from china, they’re great wigs). Hashem wants you to take care of yourself, He doesn’t want you to look and feel like a shmatta. It doesn’t mean excessive, but if you really need a new wig, buy one, Hashem will help.
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amother
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Tue, Jul 23 2024, 7:16 am
| amother Buttercup wrote: | There is nothing wrong with Walmart or consignment shops. Just because you won't do that it doesn't make it "off". Some people would rather a comfortable home than spending hundreds on clothing that rip, stain or will be outgrown within months. I find that wasteful.
As long as the clothing is neat and presentable it doesn't have to be latest fashion or name brand. My baby doesn't need the $50 onesie. Or have it match their $100 blanket. Target or carter's is fine. And I think the little puppies on it are cute. He doesn't need to look like a beige couch. Color is fine on kids.
People have different priorities. Once you have money to spend- some do it on activities. Some a level of comfort. Some clothing. Some food. Just because someone else chose a different way of life doesn't make it unhealthy.
Honestly, my sanity would be a lot better if I had physical space. I would wear the same 3 outfits over and over if it meant we had a yard, a play area... I would do laundry daily if it meant my kids had space to be. |
It’s very different having money for a mansion vs. clothes. I am never going to have 1million so a mansion is out of reach but I can still dress my kids in a way that I like ($200-300 aseason). Now buying my kids these clothes doesn’t mean I’d have a mansion
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