Shabbos sneakers? | Imamother

mommy3b2c

Thu, Jul 18 2024, 12:25 am

amother Lemonchiffon wrote:

This is NOT the hill to die on.

I was just thinking this . Op, if your daughter wants Shabbos sneakers , then get her Shabbos sneakers . Do you think Hashem cares which shoes she wears on Shabbos ?
What are the pros of refusing to buy her the sneakers? What do you feel will be gained ?

amother

↑ OP ↓

Thu, Jul 18 2024, 12:39 am

I feel very strongly that sneakers are disrespectful to shabbos. That is how I was raised. I was hoping there is a shoe out there that is a compromise between dressy and casual. My daughter doesn't seem to know what she wants, and her brand new white pair of sneakers for the summer took us 3 months to find. I can't do that again so fast. But she says stockings are uncomfortable and dress shoes are ugly. I'm listening for some kind of other option. She insisted on wearing her winter boots till we found the perfect pair of white sneakers. I want her to look nice and to be confident about how she looks.

Reality ↓

Thu, Jul 18 2024, 1:16 am

Can somebody please explain to me why you would fight your child who wants to wear comfortable shoes that are healthy for her foot? Why would you push your child to wear a too flat shoe or too high heel, both of which are uncomfortable and unhealthy?

I don't understand, it's a fad or a style that is actually good. I don't like plenty of the styles. Such is the life of a mother to a teenager.

This conversation reminds me of when I was in high school. Back then, long, loose flowing skirts were all the rage. So my teachers couldn't stop bashing how UNTZNIUS they were because you were sweeping the floor with your skirt. Hello? Maybe embrace a style that is actually tznius? Same here, be happy your child is wearing something they can walk and dance in with ease!

Odelyah ↓

Thu, Jul 18 2024, 1:41 am

OP your idea of a compromise shabbos shoe would only work if your daughter's real and only motivation is her own comfort. But it sounds like it's really mostly about a style she is seeing other girls wearing, and she wants to wear the same look. Right? If so, she wants the same type of sneaker that the cool girls are wearing, and some other comfortable somewhat dressy shoe you might find will not provide what she feels she needs.
The hard part, is that your daughter isn't sure herself of the style and wants YOU to not only buy her a shoe for shabbos that goes against your values, she wants you to help her figure out which non-shabbosdik shoe she really wants, and THEN buy it for her! Smile

(and guess what, you might do it, because it really might be the right thing to do!)
sending hugs OP--parenting teens these days is truly not for the faint of heart.

↑ imaima

Thu, Jul 18 2024, 1:59 am

amother OP wrote:

So she let you know she will be comfortable wearing sneakers.
You will lose this battle because tons of people wear sneakers on shabbes including rebetzens. Davka many older people start wearing sneakers because of orthopedic issues. Sneakers on shabbes is a thing. If she has designated shabbes sneakers, then it’s even better.

amother

Cherry ↓

Thu, Jul 18 2024, 2:17 am

OP I was like you but I've resigned myself. My daughters have white sneakers with a bit of gold detail that they keep for Shabbat. The look is even starting to grow on me now 🫣.

amother

SandyBrown

Thu, Jul 18 2024, 2:20 am

amother OP wrote:

No it was part of their outfit

Your saying the kallahs friends wore sneakers to the kobolos ponim and chuppah?

Ill admit. This I jave not seen.

salt

Thu, Jul 18 2024, 2:42 am

amother OP wrote:

Anything that you buy and set aside specially for shabbos is respectful to shabbos.

Doesn't have to be elegant. Just set aside and designated for shabbos wear.

amother

Dahlia

Thu, Jul 18 2024, 6:08 am

amother OP wrote:

I used to feel a bit similar. But nowadays, between pregnancy, foot problems, and the amount of walking I do, I found myself wearing sneakers on shabbos. And when I find money for it, I think I will buy myself a pair of shabbos sneakers!

Don't know if that perspective helps at all. But I think the fact that she wants to specifically have a pair for shabbos indicates she also feels a degree of the respect you are talking about - just with a generational difference.

Goldie613

Thu, Jul 18 2024, 6:18 am

Would this work as a compromise? They're still sneakers, but a bit dressier than the usual ones = https://www.amazon.com/Roxy-Sh.....rce=1

Or these?

https://www.keds.com/product/k.....r=101

https://www.skechers.com/cordo.....w_wcB

https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0CV.....ss_tl

Also, etsy has a whole category they call "wedding sneakers" - maybe something there would work?

https://www.etsy.com/search?q=.....h_bar

But, yes, as a general rule, I wouldn't over fuss the shoes. They can be a nicer than usual pair, something just for Shabbos and chagim, but other than that I'd let it go. Your other option is to say that she can use sneakers if she's walking further than a certain amount, but for shul you want her to stick with Shabbos shoes.

amother

↑ OP ↓

Thu, Jul 18 2024, 6:37 am

amother SandyBrown wrote:

Your saying the kallahs friends wore sneakers to the kobolos ponim and chuppah?

Ill admit. This I jave not seen.

And the kallah herself too

amother

↑ OP ↓

Thu, Jul 18 2024, 6:38 am

amother Cherry wrote:

OP I was like you but I've resigned myself. My daughters have white sneakers with a bit of gold detail that they keep for Shabbat. The look is even starting to grow on me now 🫣.

Any chance you have a link to them?

amother

Orange

Thu, Jul 18 2024, 6:38 am

op teenage years are difficult but what is wrong with sneakers? they are great and healthy for the feet. Girls are wearing them bec. they are comfortable.

I wear these on Shabbos and I love them. I have them in black and white to go with whatever outfit I wear.

https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0BM.....psc=1

for the winter I have a wintery metallic version that I don't have a link for that are comfortable.

amother

↑ OP ↓

Thu, Jul 18 2024, 6:41 am

Odelyah wrote:

(and guess what, you might do it, because it really might be the right thing to do!)
sending hugs OP--parenting teens these days is truly not for the faint of heart.

Exactly
Thank you for understanding

amother

↑ OP ↓

Thu, Jul 18 2024, 6:49 am

amother Dahlia wrote:

It totally makes sense to wear sneakers on shabbos for health reasons. That's taking care of one's self.
To wear sneakers because some people decided it's a new look is different.