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Forum
-> Household Management
-> Finances
chestnut
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 Mon, Jul 15 2024, 5:54 pm
| amother DarkGreen wrote: | | I don’t think anyone expects it, most people would agree it’s impossible. |
Of course, it's expected and needed. Kollel families (yes, husband's help with drop off and pick ups, but the question was about being able to work full time and take care of the kids and house). Single moms.
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amother
Cappuccino
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Mon, Jul 15 2024, 6:00 pm
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single moms should be the exception and when there are exceptions in an ideal community people will help out those exceptions including with tuition discounts. It's like people are expected to financially support themselves but there are tzedakah organizations for the exceptions. society has a problem when it's no longer the exception but the rule. I'm not going to get involved with the kollel lifestyle
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finprof
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Mon, Jul 15 2024, 6:14 pm
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I wish our hrs were only 9-5! Morning: DH leaves by 6am, I make sure everyone is up, dressed, lunches and backpacks backed by 7:30, then I leave and older kids are in charge and make sure everyone gets the bus at 8am. The little kids have aftercare until 6pm. All meals are prepared on Sunday and Wednesday then reheated. I fold laundry but everyone starting at age 4 must bring it to the machines and put away. (the drawers are a mess but I don't care). But we only have 4 kids
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amother
Oak
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Mon, Jul 15 2024, 6:22 pm
If your job is able to be a bit flexible, I've found it easier sometimes to hire a high school or college girl from 7-8:30 am until they go on the bus.
I work from 7:15-3:15. Put in a full 8 hours, yet am able to be there when they come home, with maybe only a few minutes at a babysitter.
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amother
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Mon, Jul 15 2024, 6:34 pm
| chestnut wrote: | | Of course, it's expected and needed. Kollel families (yes, husband's help with drop off and pick ups, but the question was about being able to work full time and take care of the kids and house). Single moms. |
Kollel wives almost never work 9-5.
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amother
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Mon, Jul 15 2024, 6:35 pm
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And what about days that kids are home? Between school and camp?
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amother
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Mon, Jul 15 2024, 6:36 pm
| amother OP wrote: | | And what about days that kids are home? Between school and camp? |
Backyard camp or babysitter.
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finprof
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Mon, Jul 15 2024, 6:38 pm
| amother OP wrote: | | And what about days that kids are home? Between school and camp? |
I'm a college professor so they come to work with me and are either watched by students who I pay or come to class with me. I went to work with my mom often growing up. Luckily both she and I are/were valued enough by our employers not to object.
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amother
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Mon, Jul 15 2024, 6:43 pm
| amother Cappuccino wrote: | | single moms should be the exception and when there are exceptions in an ideal community people will help out those exceptions including with tuition discounts. It's like people are expected to financially support themselves but there are tzedakah organizations for the exceptions. society has a problem when it's no longer the exception but the rule. I'm not going to get involved with the kollel lifestyle |
I had no help from my community and only begrudging tuition breaks they eventually stopped giving. Even though I’m remarried, I’m well into perimenopause and my dh and I now have no plans for more kids. We don’t even want to think about how these hypothetical children would be educated because we’d never send another child willingly to the local day school. But that’s another story.
And I was the only single mom for a long time—and when there were two more they had their parents and siblings here for free rides, babysitting, support, fundraising, etc
I Had to rely on lots of secular programs for afternoons (school doesn’t have an another school program or any parents who wanted to commit to babysitting my kids after school ) and summer day camps.
It is always mind boggling to me with so many parents who do need to both work and how it would benefit the schools to have two incomes etc that many don’t ever offer after school care or summer day camps with hours that work for working parents.
Also even OOT, where there’s a Kiruv element, they could get many more families both in day school with an after care program or at least summer camp with extended hours or at least the option for a fee
And forget ever going out in the evening to a simcha or event. Who has more money for babysitters? And when would I see my kids if not at dinner/bedtime? When would I do laundry or prep lunches/dinners?
And household help beyond a cleaner once a month is staggeringly expensive OOT….and I wouldn’t have someone random in my home when I’m not there.
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amother
Indigo
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Mon, Jul 15 2024, 6:47 pm
| amother OP wrote: | I’m a single mom desperately trying to find a job to support myself. I need every penny that I will be making.
I can’t rely on a husband to help.
I don’t have family to help either.
Getting a babysitter will be so expensive.
And most importantly, my kids are still young, I love them so much, I don’t want them to come home after a long day at school to a babysitter!
I wish I could find something remote/hybrid.
I was thinking of starting a business but I have no clue what or how. |
Can you work in your kids school?
That's what I do.. helps in so many ways
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amother
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Mon, Jul 15 2024, 6:51 pm
| amother OP wrote: | | And what about days that kids are home? Between school and camp? |
Find other day camps, babysitters.
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amother
Opal
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Mon, Jul 15 2024, 6:55 pm
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It sounds like you were a SAHM until now. I agree with the suggestion of getting a job in your kids school. There could be so many benefits for you.
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amother
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Mon, Jul 15 2024, 8:15 pm
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I worked from 9-3 for many years. Increased to full time eventually.
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meyerlemon44
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Mon, Jul 15 2024, 8:43 pm
| finprof wrote: | | I wish our hrs were only 9-5! Morning: DH leaves by 6am, I make sure everyone is up, dressed, lunches and backpacks backed by 7:30, then I leave and older kids are in charge and make sure everyone gets the bus at 8am. The little kids have aftercare until 6pm. All meals are prepared on Sunday and Wednesday then reheated. I fold laundry but everyone starting at age 4 must bring it to the machines and put away. (the drawers are a mess but I don't care). But we only have 4 kids |
Can you post some of your recipes that are good to make ahead? I would love to do that.
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twogees
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Mon, Jul 15 2024, 9:00 pm
| mha3484 wrote: | From what I see around me there are 3 main options:
1) You both work full time more demanding jobs and get paid accordingly so you have in home help.
2) You both work full but have family members that can help you with childcare
3) One of you works a more traditional 9-5 type job and the other a more flexible job that isn't full time of if its full time its from home. |
We have family that helps.
I work 8:40-5. My husband drops off my son for 8:30 at school. He goes to my mother in law after school for now. He'll be going to my mother in law for 1 maybe 2 more years (basically 4th and possibly 5th grade depending on how mature he is at that point.) But where I send, he will be finishing at 4:45 in 6th grade so won't be an issue for him to he home alone for 20-30 min by himself.
I work a few blocks from home and have a family oriented office so I'm able to leave if needed.
My husband works 2 blocks from my house so he's able to come home if needed for whatever reason. His schedule is usually 10-7 Sunday thru Thursday and is home on Fridays.
I get stuff done on Sundays and my husband gets stuff done on Fridays so we make it work for us.
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amother
Oxfordblue
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Mon, Jul 15 2024, 9:59 pm
I don't understand this either
DH works 7:30-4 everyday (also Fridays) and I only work about 15 hours a week. I can't fathom working more than that. Between carpools, cooking, laundry, dr appointments, and the mental and physical needs of raising children, I'm not sure how it would be possible for me to work full time.
We are dipping into savings substantially each month, but I don't see any other choice until my youngest is at least in 1 st grade
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amother
Hunter
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Mon, Jul 15 2024, 10:25 pm
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Kids are neglected. Duh! That’s how
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