Would you let your toddler pick her shoes for day camp?

amother

OP ↓

Wed, Jul 10 2024, 9:04 am

She wanted to wear her water shoes instead of socks and sneakers. I didn't want her to because they don't fit so great and she trips a lot in them. So I took off her water shoes and put on her sneakers. She told me I'm "so mean".

Should I just have let her pick and live with the consequences? She's 2.5 btw.

amother

Bergamot

Wed, Jul 10 2024, 9:06 am

She handled it rather well. Mine would have cried insisting and I would have given in probably.

amother

Charcoal

Wed, Jul 10 2024, 9:07 am

Get used to being called mean. You’ll be called worse. You’re not. You’re right.

amother

↑ OP ↓

Wed, Jul 10 2024, 9:15 am

amother Fuchsia wrote:

What would happen if she wears them and trips a lot?

She would fall and get some scrapes? Not be able to climb playground equipment well?

Nothing too terrible but I do think she would have a better day in her sneakers

amother

↑ Fuchsia ↓

Wed, Jul 10 2024, 9:18 am

amother OP wrote:

She would fall and get some scrapes? Not be able to climb playground equipment well?

Nothing too terrible but I do think she would have a better day in her sneakers

That's the small picture. If you think big, yes she'll get a few scrapes, won't be able to play... But maybe tomorrow she won't want the water shoes again
Might not be tomorrow, but maybe after another experience and good reflection together with you on how her play time was... It will click

ETA im only referring to a case where these shoes are safe of course, not shoes that are unsafe. I'm assuming they are safe since they are her shoes that her mother got her, but just less comfortable/well fitted

amother

Ebony

Wed, Jul 10 2024, 9:20 am

At that age I wouldn't because you have safety concerns. If my 6 year old said that I'd make my case and then let her decide (wouldn't let her wear shabbat shoes though). And I'd put the sneakers in the bag so she could change.

eagle

Wed, Jul 10 2024, 9:24 am

I probably would have let her keep them on but taken her regular shoes and put it in her bag for day camp so she could change when she wants.

amother

Daylily

Wed, Jul 10 2024, 9:26 am

Anything relating to safety should be within control of the parent.

I provide autonomy in terms of choice of what to wear even if the clothing doesn't match.

My niece had a period of time when she wore fairy wings with all her outfits.

amother

↑ OP ↓

Wed, Jul 10 2024, 9:28 am

amother Fuchsia wrote:

Thanks for this perspective.

I guess it's a safety-ish concern, it's slightly unsafe but not an extreme risk in any way

cube

Wed, Jul 10 2024, 9:28 am

Make sure they are hidden tomorrow morning so she doesn't see them and have the option... (shabbos shoes and rainboots are hidden in my house for this reason)

amother

↑ OP ↓

Wed, Jul 10 2024, 9:28 am

eagle wrote:

I probably would have let her keep them on but taken her regular shoes and put it in her bag for day camp so she could change when she wants.

Good idea, thanks!

amother

↑ OP ↓

Wed, Jul 10 2024, 9:29 am

amother Daylily wrote:

So I'm not sure where this falls on the spectrum because it is unsafe, but not majorly

amother

↑ OP ↓

Wed, Jul 10 2024, 9:29 am

cube wrote:

Make sure they are hidden tomorrow morning so she doesn't see them and have the option... (shabbos shoes and rainboots are hidden in my house for this reason)

Smart! Thank you

amother

↑ OP

Wed, Jul 10 2024, 9:30 am

amother Charcoal wrote:

Get used to being called mean. You’ll be called worse. You’re not. You’re right.

Oh I am definitely gearing up for the future. It honestly made me laugh when she called me mean... she has a lot to say for such a little kid! I'm sure I'm in store for a lot more

amother

NeonPink

Wed, Jul 10 2024, 9:31 am

I would be fine with toddler picking shoes but within my guidelines. They have to fit properly (tripping hazard is dangerous), with socks.
Bigger kids in day camp I'm cool with it but to cheder/school they must wear shoes/sneakers no plastic footwear (crocs floafers natives or whatever else).
We've had some mighty tantrums but that's alright

amother

↑ Fuchsia ↓

Wed, Jul 10 2024, 9:33 am

amother NeonPink wrote:

It's on the parent to have only safe shoes around, not on a toddler to be mature enough to only choose something safe enough

amother

Bottlebrush

Wed, Jul 10 2024, 9:35 am

amother OP wrote:

I would’ve done the same. Kids trip but I wouldn’t want them wearing shoes they trip a lot in. Otoh how bad is it, if you’re ok with her wearing it as water shoes?

Don’t worry about the mean part Very Happy