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Forum
-> Relationships
-> Manners & Etiquette
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amother
Milk
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 Mon, Jul 08 2024, 4:20 pm
The suggested contribution is to help pay for the shower itself. The shower is paid for by the host (not the bride, usually friends or sisters) and it’s common to ask the other friends coming to chip in. Personally I don’t like to do this for showers I’ve hosted, because I find it tacky
The gift is separate, and will be opened at the shower. Some give an engagement gift and some give this as their one and only gift. Depends on the person and their budget. I usually give something small for the shower as an engagement gift (initial set of mugs, customized wedding hanger, etc) but on occasion I’ll give the wedding gift at the shower. I don’t think there are official expectations, no one has to give gifts to begin with so it’s entirely up to you and what your budget is or comfort level
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amother
Zinnia
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Tue, Jul 09 2024, 6:45 am
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To answer the question upthread about giving a shower gift and a wedding gift: I have definitely attended a shower and given a gift and then given a check for at least $180 for a wedding. However, if someone's finances are more limited, I could see buying a couple of nice dishtowels or washing towels for a shower and then giving a modest wedding gift. This is not sustainable if you are going to multiple weddings in a month. I also come from a family that is anti-shower. Neither my grandmother, my mother, my mil, or I had one. My grandfather called it a "schnorishe party" and told my grandmother that he would buy her anything she needed. I recognize that this is a bit extreme and my dd's in laws did make one for her.
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amother
Cyclamen
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Tue, Jul 09 2024, 7:19 am
| amother OP wrote: | | The mother is making the shower which is why this whole thing feels weird. The bride didn’t even want one. Her mother is making it a surprise… |
If the bride doesn't want one, how is this a good surprise? 🤔
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