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Forum
-> Relationships
-> Manners & Etiquette
amother
OP
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Tue, Jun 25 2024, 4:29 am
I am feeling so...yuck. I am a morah for many years now and I never expect an end of the year group gift. I love handwritten cards and I always cherish those. The last few years I have gotten an Amazon gift card from the group of parents and while totally unexpected, it was really really nice amd actually really helpful during this expensive time of year.
This year, the end of school was over a month ago and I received some beautiful handwritten cards and I thought that was it and all was good. It was a really really rough year with lots of challenges with the class and I really loved and appreciated the personal notes.
A few days ago, totally unexpectedly, I received a group gift for a very specific type of merchandise sold in someone's house. I can't give details because we are a tiny community (think 1 school, 1 shul, no restaurants type) and I definitely do not want to be identified here. The merchandise is so specific that it is one brand and it's also something I would never use. There is no way for me to return it or sell it. It also has to be used within 10 days.
So I now have a gift of a few hundred dollars for a merchandise I have no use for whatsoever and I am feeling so terrible about all the parents wasting their money on such a specific gift. I would have been 100% fine with no gift. And I feel horrible for even having any negative feelings about a group of parents doing something so kind for me.
I wanted to share my feelings...maybe it will helpnme feel better about it all. Please don't throw tomatoes.
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amother
Crocus
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Tue, Jun 25 2024, 7:33 am
That sounds disappointing.
Can you give it to someone else who will be able to use it?
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amother
Thistle
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Tue, Jun 25 2024, 7:44 am
IME often one parent will take responsibility for a group present, they will decide what they think is a good idea and run with it.
And it is frustrating when the present chosen is something you don't want and wouldn't use. I think we sometimes have to just accept that they wanted to gift you something and to appreciate the gesture (while thinking how to regift the gift)
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amother
Aconite
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Tue, Jun 25 2024, 7:49 am
Can you sell the gift card in your community?
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amother
OP
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Tue, Jun 25 2024, 8:54 am
amother Thistle wrote: | IME often one parent will take responsibility for a group present, they will decide what they think is a good idea and run with it.
And it is frustrating when the present chosen is something you don't want and wouldn't use. I think we sometimes have to just accept that they wanted to gift you something and to appreciate the gesture (while thinking how to regift the gift) |
I so appreciate the gesture...I just honestly feel bad for the parents that all chipped to buy something that will likely not be used. I have several children in school that I chip 9n for group gifts and it really adds up. I just don't understand the purpose of getting something so so specific. It's not just the fact that it's something I don't want...it's something that most people in my community would not get use out of. It's for a very specific clientele for a very specific purpose. It doesn't make much sense to me.
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amother
OP
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Tue, Jun 25 2024, 8:56 am
No because we have a tiny community and everyone knows everyone. Selling it would mean that it's guaranteed that most parents thay chipped in would see that I'm trying to sell it and I think that would be hurtful to them, which I really don't want to do.
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amother
OP
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Tue, Jun 25 2024, 11:38 am
amother OP wrote: | No because we have a tiny community and everyone knows everyone. Selling it would mean that it's guaranteed that most parents thay chipped in would see that I'm trying to sell it and I think that would be hurtful to them, which I really don't want to do. |
Plus the merchandise that the gift card is for is so specific that it would also be a super hard sell.
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amother
Moccasin
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Tue, Jun 25 2024, 11:51 am
amother OP wrote: | No because we have a tiny community and everyone knows everyone. Selling it would mean that it's guaranteed that most parents thay chipped in would see that I'm trying to sell it and I think that would be hurtful to them, which I really don't want to do. |
Other than the one parent who gave you this misguided gift, the rest probably don’t know what form the gift took.
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amother
OP
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Tue, Jun 25 2024, 4:13 pm
The update is that I spoke to the boutique owner earlier and gift certificates are non transferable. So that's that I guess.
Just to be clear that I'm not sounding grateful...this specific merchandise offered is equivalent to something like custom orthotics for flat feet...100% useless to me. And has to be used by next week, so Incant even hold onto it for a rainy day lol 😆
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amother
Moccasin
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Tue, Jun 25 2024, 4:20 pm
This sounds like whoever was in charge of the gift must have some connection to this store because it sounds useless…
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bzmother
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Tue, Jun 25 2024, 4:35 pm
Why dont you spend the gift gard at the boutique and then try to sell what you bought there somewhere else or in a few months? On ebay? Yad shniya?
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amother
OP
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Tue, Jun 25 2024, 4:36 pm
Thank you much for validating
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amother
OP
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Tue, Jun 25 2024, 4:36 pm
bzmother wrote: | Why dont you spend the gift gard at the boutique and then try to sell what you bought there somewhere else or in a few months? On ebay? Yad shniya? |
that's an interesting idea
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