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Forum -> Health & Wellness -> Healthy Lifestyle/ Weight Loss/ Exercise

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amother

Tangerine

Sun, Jun 23 2024, 7:36 pm

Yeah...till my BP was high and bloods were not good... I didn't want to go on meds... Lost weight, good 40 lbs, still want to do another 20.... Bloods improved and BP is normal.

amother

↑ OP ↓

Sun, Jun 23 2024, 7:36 pm

I don't weigh myself, I go to the doctor and I know my weight from then.

Its not about the numbers it's about being on about what goes into my mouth.

amother

↑ OP ↓

Sun, Jun 23 2024, 8:18 pm

Im at 200 lbs with the little changes. I drink only water, I do some exercise, lots of my food choices are pretty healthy. Probably if I didn't binge I would be a lower weight. I'm down from 220 a year ago with these healthy changes but even over the year it's been up and down with periods of being ON and periods of being burned out, up and down the same 20 lbs.
It just feels pointless and like I'm going in circles.
I see so many obese women out there and I'm wondering if any of them are happy healthy and just at a stable weight.
ATM my health markers are normal but I'm aware that may not last.

zaftigmom

Sun, Jun 23 2024, 10:04 pm

Yes! Some tips that have worked for me:

Focus on actions (sleep well, eat well, exercise), not outcomes (weight loss)

Treat your body with kindness, respect and appreciation for all it can do instead of punishing it for what it can't do

Radical acceptance- hating reality doesn't make it less real

Feed yourself like you'd want to feed your children- nourishing foods with occasional treats

Buy clothing, makeup, accessories that make you feel as good as possible

Take a multivitamin, get lots of fresh fruits and veggies and protein- adding positive things to your diet is easier and more sustainable than restriction

Take your hunger cues seriously- letting yourself stay hungry makes you more likely to eat foods without as much nutritional content

You deserve to be taken care of, fed, happy, etc for your tzelem elokim not for the size of your body

The size of your body has no deeper meaning than the amount of space you take up in this world. There is no morality in body size and you are not a failure if you are not thin. Hashem created different sizes shapes and colors in all his creations including humans. You just need to take good care of yourself, stay up to date on Dr visits and all other aspects of basic self care.

amother

↑ Pearl

Sun, Jun 23 2024, 10:51 pm

Two facts that made a big difference:

1. Food freedom is being able to eat a slice of cheesecake and be normal about it instead of making it into a shame spiral. But it's also being able to eat a salad with balsamic vinegar and a splash of olive oil without turning that into a moral choice either, which is also liberating.

2. Your body doesn't award points for intent to lose weight. And having kavana to lose weight won't make your actions more conducive to weight loss, nor will doing something without the intent to lose weight make you less likely to lose weight if that's the effect it will have on your body. And, in fact, stressing yourself out by focusing too hard on weight loss can raise your cortisol and harm your metabolism.

B'Syata D'Shmya ↓

Sun, Jun 23 2024, 11:20 pm

amother OP wrote:

To lose weight, not now and not in your future?

I ask this as an obese woman. Sometimes I wonder if I'd be happier if I just stopped trying. Its not like it's working long term either way. I worry about my health which is why I seem to always come back to trying to change my lifestyle, lose weight bla bla.

I'd love to hear from women who just accept their size (specifically as an obese woman) and how you got to such a place. Are you happier? What do you say to your doctors? Any advice?

The self loathing can't be any better for me than the weight itself.

Your size is gorgeous. You dont need to change. You are perfect the way you are. No one needs us all to be the same size and it isnt more "feminine" to be skinny.

Please stop criticizing yourself for not being thinner. Your self-worth has nothing to do with your dress size.
Do you worry about your health because your doctor is concerned or you have suffer of symptoms of something? Thats something else and worth doing something about. Not losing weight but focusing on a healthy lifestyle. You can be overweight and go on daily walks, eat healthy food (one can be obese on carrots and celery !!), cut out the junk etc.

Before you can work on your physical, work on loving the you that is inside - are you a kind person, do you interact positively with others, are you patient, do you self-actualize in other (non-physical) areas....

amother

Sunflower

Sun, Jun 23 2024, 11:32 pm

Yup. I’m 5’1 and 220 lb
Hashem made my body the way he wanted to. Any time I lost weight, I would bounce back up to 220 soon after.
I don’t drink soda or juice, try to eat vegetables 2-3 times a day, try to eat meals that are heavier on the protein than carbs, try not to snack on junk, and that’s it.
I don’t obsess about my diet or my weight.
I’m healthy b”h and I daven to hashem for continued health every day.

amother

↑ OP ↓

Mon, Jun 24 2024, 7:45 am

My health markers are ok right now but I'm young. I do find all this extra weight on a short frame hard. It's hard going up steps, getting out of bed, tying my shoes. I get winded very fast, my joints hurt that kind of thing.
I also struggle to find clothes that look nice on.
It sounds like I can focus on eating healthier and still be obese. Will I be happier that way? I'm not sure. Maybe I need to work on my acceptance.
I want to be healthy in body and mind.
I don't want to live in this cycle of feeling food when I'm losing weight and disappointed in myself when I gain weight.
My doctor thinks I need to keep trying because it's a matter of health, which is why I always go back to trying again but I'm mentally exhausted.

amother

Holly

Mon, Jun 24 2024, 7:48 am

I stopped trying after spending the first 10 years of my adult life focused on losing weight.

amother

Hyssop

Mon, Jun 24 2024, 7:51 am

Just came on here to say that this is such a healthy mindset most of the posts on this thread.

ETA: Regarding your bingeing OP, I would say to have a look at Rachel Wringley's youtube channel. She addresses it and the rest of your question in multiple videos.

↑ imaima

Mon, Jun 24 2024, 7:59 am

Op, you sound very overwhelmed.
You are also saying that you do a lot pf healthy things, but also some binging.
It is often said, but not often enough, that it doesn’t matter how many healthy habits you have if you don’t work with your emotional toll. Do you have too many responsibilities, stress at work or in your SB, old trauma that makes you sad so you try to make your life sweeter?

You should take care of those things first.

amother

Celeste

Mon, Jun 24 2024, 9:39 am

I am obese and have dieted so so much of my life. I lose weight so so so slowly.

So in between diets, I have "gone off" and not tried at all.

The problem was that I always gain weight if I'm not losing. And I don't eat like crazy, I just have a very slow metabolism and pcos. So even if I'm just eating normal and healthy, I gain weight.

So for me I have to always be actively trying, otherwise I gain.

amother

Petunia

Mon, Jun 24 2024, 11:00 am

I'm 5'4 and 210-220 lb. By the charts I'm definitely obese. I also work out and I'm in decent shape. I certainly don't get winded climbing stairs or tying my shoes, and don't look like I weigh as much as I do. Though I definitely don't look skinny either Very Happy

I do a lot of movement that I love and makes me happy, and I'm very thankful my body allows me to do it. I have body goals, but they're around skills. I want to be stronger and more flexible, I want to able to do full splits (I'm close!), and plank for X amount of time. Heck I want to have super strong pelvic floor muscles for all sorts of reasons Wink

Seeing my body improve feels amazing. Feeling strong and present in my body is an incredible feeling. Sure it would be nice to lose some pounds, because it's annoying to not conform to society standards, it makes buying clothing harder, I know some people judge me, etc. It would also be easier to do a plow position in yoga and not strangle myself with my own cleavage LOL

But I don't make myself crazy about it.
I try to eat food that's good for me. I drink a lot of water and eat a lot of vegetables. I also eat junk food when I feel like it. Sometimes I eat emotionally, and I don't beat myself up over it. It's a coping mechanism because it works! I don't deprive myself at parties or events, though I do try to focus on what I really like, and not to eat stuff I dislike out of politeness. I certainly don't count calories or points or macros and I never have. My weight has been pretty stable as an adult (minus pregnancies).

I'm very lucky to have a husband who loves my body and to have grown up with a mother who didn't think thinness = goodness (not true for the rest of my family, but she had the biggest impact on me). I have friends that don't care at all about my weight, and are pretty chilled out about appearances in general. We never discuss diets and when it do find myself part of such a conversation with other women, I find it both deeply depressing and mind numbingly boring.

All this to say, I have a very supportive environment that enables me not to waste mental energy on weight and dieting, and because I work out, it does balance some of the potential risks of obesity.

Do you have a supportive environment? Do you have people close to you who aren't diet obsessed? Do you move and appreciate your body for what it can do, and not just what it looks like?

If you don't move yet, I'd warmly recommend to find a form of movement that makes you happy. Dance or swim or walk with a friend or practice yoga... find something that your body can do that brings you joy, to balance the frustration of how your body is judged by others.

Do you have people close to you that buy into the diet culture and trash talk their bodies? If so, can you get them to talk about something else? Or just find other people to talk with? I have one friend who's body and diet obsessed, and I see how much she brings me down. She's obviously got her own issues, but I try and just not engage with the diet culture stuff and think of literally anything else to talk about.

I think these both are key to being able to free yourself from the endless buzz of diet culture and self loathing.

rowena

Mon, Jun 24 2024, 12:27 pm

I just wanted to weigh in (pun intended) with my own personal experience as well.

I am plus size, and I haven't weighed myself in 2.5 years. My PCP doesn't know what I weigh, I decline to be weighed at appointments. One of my doctors does need to know my weight for medication purposes and I turn around on the scale so I don't see the number. It's truly liberating, but isn't an end all be all. I still wish I was skinny, I still have to deal with body image issues (my health is fine).

I am active, but that has more to do with me not having a baby at home, so my schedule allows it. I feel that I eat intuitively, but really only recently since I started my intuitive eating journey (I recommend the book, it's so much more than eating whatever you want.) I NEVER restrict, rather I try to ADD healthy foods in. People around me are still obssesed with diet culture for "health", but I know health is about habits and not about how I look. I think truly accepting myself as I am and giving myself full permission to eat has ironically made it much easier to eat in a way where it is about how I feel and not about numbers on a scale, but it definitely took years to get to this point.

As an aside all those studies on the risks of obesity may more accurately point to the risks of yoyo dieting. We don't truly know if an obese person that was allowed to eat intuitively their whole life would have the health risks that are associated with obesity because we've been indotrinated into diet culture for generations.

Sorry for the ramble, I have no time to edit.

amother

↑ OP ↓

Mon, Jun 24 2024, 2:08 pm

Wow so much to think about here!

I did try intuitive eating and I gained 50 lbs. I am one of those people if I'm not losing I'm gaining.
My husband has no issue with my size, my mother is another story but at this point she realizes it pointless. Not so much when I was younger. I was on diets on and off since I was 10.
I want to not care. The things I brought up earlier about how my weight impacts me does make me care. I'm short and my mobility is compromised, shopping is really depressing, I sweat a ton and my joints hurt. Not to mention not feeling pretty and judged by others.
I yearn for peace around all of this.

Emotionally I'm fine, no trauma, no particular stresses etc. I'm not an emotional eater per se.

In terms of movement I do some movement. I would love to be fit but I really struggle with exercise. My joints hurt and I have very low stamina. I do exercise a bit daily but I definitely do not feel like my body is awesome and strong.

↑ B'Syata D'Shmya

Mon, Jun 24 2024, 3:28 pm

amother OP wrote:

Have you considered swimming? Personal trainer? Walking while listening to a shiur/ getting a treadmill?

amother

Heather

Mon, Jun 24 2024, 3:58 pm

I’m a binge eater but diet aggressively to keep slim. I’ve been reading “overcoming binge eating” by Christopher G. Fairburn and it’s been helping me get off a diet mentality and eat and live normally. I don’t have the size issue but I know what it means to be on the diet binge roller coaster. It’s exhausting. I haven’t been doing it for long but I’m clinging to it as it’s life changing.

amother

Clematis

Mon, Jun 24 2024, 6:14 pm

I recently tried. But it's soon hard. In 5 months I lost 7 inches. 7 inches is nice but 5 months is a long time. I stopped for now. I'm burnt out.

amother

↑ Coral

Mon, Jun 24 2024, 7:24 pm

amother Clematis wrote:

I recently tried. But it's soon hard. In 5 months I lost 7 inches. 7 inches is nice but 5 months is a long time. I stopped for now. I'm burnt out.

are you kidding? 7 inches in 5 months is tremendous! Unless you're adding up what you lost from bust, ribcage, waist, belly, hips, thighs, neck, knee, calf, ankle, wrist and biceps.

BmoreBubby

Fri, Jun 28 2024, 1:31 am

Oof. I feel for you, been there, done that. Here's what helped me, maybe it will help you. It's SOOO important to focus on: (a) one day at a time - what are the healthy practices that you are going to do today to help you feel well (food, movement, sleep, davening, etc.) (b) set yourself up for success by not bringing the trigger-foods into the house (for me it's ice cream and chocolate mints, for others it's soda or orange juice - all that high-sugar stuff) and (c) make slow changes, like instead of cutting out all of the sugar in your coffee, reduce it just a bit so it isn't a diet, it's a life-change. I learned all of this from a Torah approach to health called Body & Soul which is on Amazon.

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