Is it normal to spend over $100

amother

Offwhite

Thu, Jun 20 2024, 6:19 am

amother Hibiscus wrote:

No it doesn’t. My kids don’t own brand anything. They don’t own expensive things. When they ask me for one item that is more money I don’t blink. I put their well being first. And no it doesn’t mean anything remotely of what you just accused me of. And it’s because of my attitude that they don’t feel the need to fill their wardrobe with expensive items. I don’t make it a power struggle. I think your attitude leads to resentful children who are always looking to fill that need thereby needing more expensive things all the time.

How can you say they don't own brand name anything but also they get items that are more money. Brand name doesn't mean designer. It means made by a beand/company, not store brand/generic. Walmart, target, payless, Chinese companies- those are not brand name. Otherwise guess what, you've been buying brand names. And you say you'd buy $100 sneaker but you don't buy expensive things? I feel like we're not speaking the same language.

amother

Vanilla

Thu, Jun 20 2024, 6:22 am

peace2 wrote:

I'm not one for brands, so I would say the style. Some people really only care about the brand but I think you can find cute things that look right even if they don't have the logo. I just don't think anything from those links is doing that

Can you please post a few links of what girls you know would wear?

amother

Thu, Jun 20 2024, 6:31 am

amother Chambray wrote:

We ordered 2 pairs on Amazon and one she didn't like how it looked and one ran way to huge and didn't have smaller sizes left. She ended up finding a pair for cheaper on zappos and she says they are so comfortable and she thinks they are cute. Firstly she plans to wear black socks and they look good with black. They ended up being cheaper than 100 but if she only found cute comfortable sneakers I would've bought them. Last summer the sneakers that we bought on Amazon in 50 dollar range hurt and blistered her foot and I had to.order her sneakers in camp. I ordered her 2 pairs from Walmart and none were great. So ..... her size may not be changing and may work for next year too. Who knows? So moral of the story. You can't always make yourself crazy to save a few dollars.

Well, we ordered 5 pairs from amazon but nothing worked.
In the past she found sneakers at famous footwear.
I’m glad it worked out for you but it’s just not working out for us this year.

mizle10

Thu, Jun 20 2024, 6:34 am

amother OP wrote:

Well, we ordered 5 pairs from amazon but nothing worked.
In the past she found sneakers at famous footwear.
I’m glad it worked out for you but it’s just not working out for us this year.

Just buy the sneakers. This isn't a girl begging you for golden goose.
You wanted them to be under $75, she really tried. You see she couldn't find.
$25 is really not worth the tension between you and your DD.

Bnei Berak 10

Thu, Jun 20 2024, 6:34 am

amother OP wrote:

I DID give her a budget. Under $75 but really hoping she will find something for around $50.
It’s only for a few weeks in the summer…
Yes, I can afford it but for years I couldn’t have even considered this type of purchase so I’m very used to being conscious about spending carefully.
Just because I have the money doesn’t make it right to spend on something that doesn’t make sense.
Unless I’M not making sense, which is why I was asking here..
She’s not a confident girl and she’s going to a new camp and I do want her to feel good about herself but it’s still a lot of money for sneakers. I think I’m paying for the name brand printed on the side more than for the actual shoe. That’s what really bothers me.

Give her an exact amount to shop for. If she wants more expensive she will have to pay for the difference herself.

amother

Trillium

Thu, Jun 20 2024, 6:36 am

My DD wanted a particular color of Adidas. In her circles, there are a number of girls who come from very wealthy homes and have lots of really expensive clothes and shoes. I try get her what she wants because she wants to fit in. And spending $100 at this point, for sneakers, seems to be where we are at.

So I bit the bullet. I paid $100, she paid $25 (I didn’t want to pay more). I googled the sneakers afterwards, and discovered a different color stripe would have been $40 cheaper (on sale) sigh. Unfortunately I don’t think $100 is far fetched.

mochamix18

Thu, Jun 20 2024, 6:36 am

Ruchel wrote:

I left a fancy MO circle to avoid that. If it makes it way to charedi...

Unfortunately that boat sailed along time ago, even in Israeli Chareidi circles and I know this thread is talking about American girls going to American camp.

Aurora

Thu, Jun 20 2024, 6:37 am

Bnei Berak 10 wrote:

Give her an exact amount to shop for. If she wants more expensive she will have to pay for the difference herself.

I think this is a very good idea. You will pay the $75 you had budgeted to her sneakers, and if she wants the pricier ones, let her make up the difference.

amother

Hibiscus

Thu, Jun 20 2024, 6:39 am

amother Offwhite wrote:

When one says brand names they mean brand names that mean something. It’s ok you don’t have to understand. But just know there are shades of grey. The word is not made up of 2 type of people those who spend on aliexpress and those who spend on major brand names. There is so much in the middle. My kids don’t own trendy brand names they simply don’t care for it. When we had options of a few companies and they loved one that was a little more I splurged those extra dollars because they matter to me and I’m not gonna save a few dollars I can easily spend when I don’t have to say no. Especially because they only ask for a few costly things.

amother

Pumpkin

Thu, Jun 20 2024, 6:44 am

Ruchel wrote:

I left a fancy MO circle to avoid that. If it makes it way to charedi...

In America, it’s mostly the chareidi circles that are obsessed with expensive clothes and accessories.

Ema of 5

Thu, Jun 20 2024, 6:49 am

amother Offwhite wrote:

There’s a difference between brand (which is literally everything) and brand name. Toyota is a brand. Maserati is brand name. Old navy is a brand. Balenciaga is brand name. When someone says brand name they usually are implying higher end. There is a wide variety of price among brand name things as well, but that’s a whole other story.

amother

Vanilla

Thu, Jun 20 2024, 6:50 am

amother Pumpkin wrote:

In America, it’s mostly the chareidi circles that are obsessed with expensive clothes and accessories.

This 100%.
The less Bais Yakov-y camps hardly have this brand name stuff, and the girls there wear all sorts of sneakers not "the right type".
The more right wing camps are the ones that girls need to have everything fancy.

amother

Aqua

Thu, Jun 20 2024, 6:51 am

I’m surprised, my daughter got Nikes for about $50. From the website, and there are tons of options online in that price range. Is it really that hard to find for that price? (Air Force one) I found tons of sale options on different websites and let her choose from there.
We do have the money for full price, I’m just worried about her getting accustomed to spending like that, and paying full price when there are suitable options for so much less. ( I was raised like this and the mentality served me very well in my “poor” years. And my parents were wealthy. )

amother

Hibiscus

Thu, Jun 20 2024, 6:52 am

amother Pumpkin wrote:

In America, it’s mostly the chareidi circles that are obsessed with expensive clothes and accessories.

You can’t be serious. When I lived in a MO community it was only brands. I know people who went into debt keeping up with the Jones’s. Fancy cars, fancy vacations, only brand name clothing, only very expensive bags… super expensive jewelry. What are you talking about?

Aurora

Thu, Jun 20 2024, 6:55 am

I think it may be part of the more right-wing communities' standard for people to have a very specific look for their clothing. So once that becomes the standard, there's more pressure to buy the expensive brand names.

There's a lot less pressure for women in the MO world to dress in one or two particular styles. So while there is definitely pressure to look "nice" there's a lot of wiggle room for what "nice" is. There are a few women in my schul who are fashion plates, but most women just go for Shabbosdik-ish.

amother

Thu, Jun 20 2024, 6:57 am

amother Aqua wrote:

This is what I was hoping for… $50 Nikes.
For some reason she didn’t like any of the Nikes although that’s what she wore last summer.

Aurora

Thu, Jun 20 2024, 6:57 am

amother Hibiscus wrote:

I think we know different MO people.

Bnei Berak 10

Thu, Jun 20 2024, 6:58 am

Aurora wrote:

I think this is a very good idea. You will pay the $75 you had budgeted to her sneakers, and if she wants the pricier ones, let her make up the difference.

Not even my idea but it's excellent.
At a certain age I hope it's possible to allow a certain amount per season for clothing. You need to be clear on what it's supposed to cover. Give the money and it's her please/problem to shop.
In time, this could result in a quite savvy teenage shopper. What to buy when to buy price comparison etc.
If she has money still left over in the budget by and of season (for example $25) reward her and give her a 50% bonus on the amount ($12.50)

This needs to be set out in writing as a contract between parent and teen.

Shopping smart is an art.

kenz

Thu, Jun 20 2024, 6:58 am

You can go to the old school websites like Adidas and Nike and get good quality sneakers on sale for anywhere from $40 and up. The rest of the question is aesthetics and only you can make that decision.