Is it normal to spend over $100

amother

Offwhite

Thu, Jun 20 2024, 8:31 am

amother Hibiscus wrote:

But it is. They range from 60-300+ that puts 100 at lower end.

Sorry, sneakers don't start at 60. I just looked at dsw sneakers online and they have 328 women's sneakers under 50. Lots of cute options.

amother

Yarrow

Thu, Jun 20 2024, 8:31 am

amother Hibiscus wrote:

But it is. They range from 60-300+ that puts 100 at lower end.

No there are plenty of sneakers under $100 and even under $75...maybe only designer sneakers are in that range so $100 is in the low range for designer. But why do teens need brand names of everything.

little neshamala

Thu, Jun 20 2024, 8:32 am

Sneakers for my teen daughter typically range between 45 and 65 dollars. In-town living in monsey ny, BH shes quite popular.
We try hard not to conform to the higher standards of living and so far its been fine.

ETA we've also bought cute sneakers for $35. Not so hard to find

Last edited by little neshamala on Thu, Jun 20 2024, 8:33 am; edited 1 time in total

amother

Hibiscus

Thu, Jun 20 2024, 8:33 am

amother Yarrow wrote:

This is the type of attitude that raises the standards for everyone and contributes to making frum life unaffordable.

No it doesn’t. My kids don’t own brand anything. They don’t own expensive things. When they ask me for one item that is more money I don’t blink. I put their well being first. And no it doesn’t mean anything remotely of what you just accused me of. And it’s because of my attitude that they don’t feel the need to fill their wardrobe with expensive items. I don’t make it a power struggle. I think your attitude leads to resentful children who are always looking to fill that need thereby needing more expensive things all the time.

amother

Yarrow

Thu, Jun 20 2024, 8:37 am

amother Hibiscus wrote:

Don't worry my kids arent resentful they are bh happy without all the expensive clothing. And honestly bh I can afford it to buy them whatever they want but it's not the point. I don't buy things just because everyone else has them. It's pathetic to read here what people's standards are and how people are struggling to put food on the table and pay tuition but they need to buy their kids the designer clothing because everyone else has it and they can't say no to their child.

amother

Yarrow

Thu, Jun 20 2024, 8:38 am

little neshamala wrote:

This exactly. There are plenty of cheaper cute options why do we need to keep raising the bar

amother

Hibiscus

Thu, Jun 20 2024, 8:39 am

amother Yarrow wrote:

No one said do that. Her daughter struggled to find shoes I said it’s the time it’s ok to splurge. And some of you are losing your minds. Maybe sit down and think why you need to freak out and accuse people of ridiculous things.

amother

Forsythia

Thu, Jun 20 2024, 8:42 am

amother OP wrote:

I DID give her a budget. Under $75 but really hoping she will find something for around $50.
It’s only for a few weeks in the summer…
Yes, I can afford it but for years I couldn’t have even considered this type of purchase so I’m very used to being conscious about spending carefully.
Just because I have the money doesn’t make it right to spend on something that doesn’t make sense.
Unless I’M not making sense, which is why I was asking here..
She’s not a confident girl and she’s going to a new camp and I do want her to feel good about herself but it’s still a lot of money for sneakers. I think I’m paying for the name brand printed on the side more than for the actual shoe. That’s what really bothers me.

I think it’s about the overall picture- you’re standing in a store and there’s a pair for 80 and one for 120 and you compromise your n the 80$ one that’s chinuch.

Running around and finding something then not getting it on principal and continuing to obsess is the opposite of chinuch imo.

I found it helpful to have a more overall budget- it works better for me as an adult as well. So I May choose to get some things really basic and some things cost a bit more because otherwise even if you do spend on things there’s a feeling of stress and (false) deprivation .

amother

Sage

Thu, Jun 20 2024, 8:58 am

My 16 year old doesn't follow the crowd. She cares about being comfortable rather than being trendy. She only wears sneakers and she's hard on them. She also goes running for exercise. We have to replace her sneakers a few times a year when they wear out. Decent quality women's sneakers are not cheap. I won't spend $165 like a recent pair she tried on and liked in the store, but it's hard not to spend $100. Sometimes we catch a good sale and spend less. New Balance is cheaper than On Clouds, for example.

peace2

Thu, Jun 20 2024, 9:02 am

amother Vanilla wrote:

I don't claim to be super trendy or anything but I scrolled thru a few pages and didn't see any options that a girl who wants to be in style would want to wear to camp. Of course there are options for cheaper out there, but if she cares a lot about being with it (which is really important for a girl with low self esteem going to a new camp) then she won't be happy with any of these

amother

Vanilla

Thu, Jun 20 2024, 9:08 am

peace2 wrote:

Do you mean none of them are the brand name $200 sneakers?
Asking genuinely-is it about having a specific brand name, or is it the style?
Because my daughter (14 years old) and her friends all wear sneakers like this. In NY.

Ema of 5

Thu, Jun 20 2024, 9:10 am

amother Yarrow wrote:

This is the type of attitude that raises the standards for everyone and contributes to making frum life unaffordable.

No, it’s the attitude that OTHER PEOPLE THINK THEY NEED TO KEEP UP WITH. My allowing my daughter to spend a certain amount of money because we can afford it doesn’t mean that you need to let your daughter spend the same. The world was created in such a way that some people have more than others, that’s just the way of the world. The fact that people think they need to keep up with something they can’t afford is what contributes to making frum life unaffordable. If something is unaffordable, then don’t buy it.

amother

Raspberry

Thu, Jun 20 2024, 9:15 am

My daughter bought Nike sneakers from famous footwear for less than $100 so no sambas or locis for us. And I agree that the sneakers posted are not what young girls are wearing. I'm cost conscious and not at all fashionable, and it was still obvious to me that most of these were not really the norm. I didn't click all. But still. They are cute sneakers, but not for a kid who really needs a little extra to fit in. They are for a very confident social kid who will laugh her way through it. And if ur child isn't that person than buy her something else.

amother

Scarlet

Thu, Jun 20 2024, 9:17 am

You have to know your child, & I admire op how you're looking at the big picture.

I went through something similar, & so with my teen, they're reasonable & dont need pricey name brands, but in terms of "a look" tend to have expensive taste. So we do like what you mentioned, giving them an amount limit, but then keep ot open where if it's more they have to pay the rest. While supervised they browse online.

my dc for Instance is drawn to those 3 digit sneakers too, so we give them limit of 50-60. on Amazon & whatnot,with enough searching, there are comparable selections, sometimes if on sale one can even find as low as 30 or 40. if my DC has their heart set on anything more than the limit we gave, then they can decide if they want to use b-day present/Afikomen/working money etc.

This so far works for us, but I def support working with the individual child, to have limits even if they don't like them while nurturing respect & rapport. that they don't feel too criticized limited, or they might become overly focused on material desires. It's a difficult balance.

peace2

Thu, Jun 20 2024, 9:19 am

amother Vanilla wrote:

I'm not one for brands, so I would say the style. Some people really only care about the brand but I think you can find cute things that look right even if they don't have the logo. I just don't think anything from those links is doing that

mizle10

Thu, Jun 20 2024, 9:19 am

amother Vanilla wrote:

I didn't open all of them, but most girls are not wearing converse, denim sneakers with daisies all over, or colorful stripey sneakers.

Edit:

https://www.dsw.com/product/ro.....09340

Really??

Last edited by mizle10 on Thu, Jun 20 2024, 9:21 am; edited 1 time in total