Bekeshe, Shtreimel, and a Tie. Is it ok?

amother

↑ Viola

Mon, Jun 17 2024, 4:20 pm

amother Lilac wrote:

He wears a regular shtreimal or more of spodik/kulpik style? He lives in the US?

I'm not sure because the Shtreimels are very high these days. But its officially regular Shtreimel. He lives in Israel but is American. It's not common in Stolin but ppl do it. Mostly boys who wore ties in America and then put on Shtreimel because of FIL

amother

↑ OP ↓

Mon, Jun 17 2024, 4:21 pm

amother Valerian wrote:

Is he interested in bringing color into his levush or are you the one who wants it?
Cuz honestly its off

Me. But I dress "off" for womens fashion in a sense as well because I just don't care (to some extent. I still look polished and presentable but care more about color schemes vs wearing something "in").

Obviously I can't push my lack of caring and just being confident on ones "weird"....especially if it's more socially off than what I'm doing. I just don't know how "off" it is.

amother

↑ Bellflower ↓

Mon, Jun 17 2024, 4:30 pm

amother OP wrote:

So if he's younger than it won't look so acceptable?

Not stolin. Bobov. How off is it for that crowd?

There’s not much room for expressing your own sense of style in that crowd. I think you should let him wear what makes him comfortable. Try getting a look at the guys leaving shul one Shabbos and see if anyone else where he davens wears a tie. He probably doesn’t want to stick out and look different .
You can always buy him bright colored boxers or pjs if you need some color in your life. Smile

amother

Maple

Mon, Jun 17 2024, 4:31 pm

amother OP wrote:

Right. That's what I've been told. I like the pop of color that a tie brings but my husband insists he will look like Purim and will lose respect if he tries to combine it. Deep within I know he is right but I'm hoping someone out there will say it's fine lolol

How else can we bring color into the chassidish levush?

Lots of litvish guys have a tish bekeshe they wear to their seudas. They take off their short jacket and change for the meal.

You can do the opposite. Dh can wear a tie to your seuda so you can enjoy the look.

Note that ties are not considered "comfortable" for most men.

(Full disclosure: im full on Lakewood yeshivish and know almost nothing about chassidish norms).

amother

Gardenia

Mon, Jun 17 2024, 4:33 pm

amother OP wrote:

So many ways.
Belt, suspenders, cuff links, watch, shirts with color on the collar, colorful socks, blue/silver/grey/purple bekeshe…

amother

↑ OP ↓

Mon, Jun 17 2024, 4:34 pm

amother Bellflower wrote:

Haha. Good idea but not the same concept. I tried with socks but he's very particular about choosing his own. It helps a little but a tie to match the socks sounds like it would be nice (in my head obviously. It may not look good in reality if he feels off or socially weird).

I don't think anyone does it in his group of friends and so far his siblings said they would not walk near him if did that and he will look extremely weird (in a sibling teasing kind of way).

amother

↑ OP ↓

Mon, Jun 17 2024, 4:37 pm

amother Maple wrote:

Ties are not comfortable?? This is so interesting. I'm going to have to ask DH how it feels for him. As a sidenote. Didn't realize it may be an uncomfortable piece of clothing.

I think I do like the idea of changing for different. He just thinks that a tie doesn't work with a bekeshe at all. He doesn't want to wear a short jacket on shabbos because it doesn't feel kavodik since he wears a short suit jacket for work.

amother

Lightgray

Mon, Jun 17 2024, 4:38 pm

amother OP wrote:

How socially of is to wear a tie with a Bekeshe and Shtreimel?

How can one wear a tie and chassidish livush and not look socially off. A short suit, tie, and shtreimel?

My father wore that. Gentleman's suit, Borsalino and tie during the week.
Shtreimel, bekeshe and tie on shabbos in deference to his father. He was a chassid in that he went to many different rebbes for brachos, but he didn't lead a chassidish home. We went to Bais Yaakovs and the boys equivalent.

My brother wears down hat and tie and on shabbos he swaps his suit for a bekeshe, together with the down hat and tie. Not chassidish, nor a chassid.

His children wear standard wear. No bekeshe. In the yeshiva world.

lamplighter

Mon, Jun 17 2024, 4:38 pm

With all due respect, I think you should leave your husband be.
Do your own thing with your own clothes but since this isn't the norm at all, it's his choice if he's comfortable dressing off or not. Sounds like he's not.

amother

↑ OP ↓

Mon, Jun 17 2024, 4:39 pm

amother Gardenia wrote:

So many ways.
Belt, suspenders, cuff links, watch, shirts with color on the collar, colorful socks, blue/silver/grey/purple bekeshe…

He used to have shirts with colors on the collar but they either got ruined with time or he outgrew them. Totally forgot about those!!!

I think I will bring that up to him and see why he stopped getting them.

I imagine he's going to say because they're way more expensive....I can't imagine why else he would stop Sad

amother

↑ Lilac ↓

Mon, Jun 17 2024, 4:48 pm

amother OP wrote:

So if he's younger than it won't look so acceptable?

Not stolin. Bobov. How off is it for that crowd?

Yeah, it would be off for a Bobov man.

amother

↑ Valerian

Mon, Jun 17 2024, 4:51 pm

It feels like you’re borderline harassing him about something he’s not interested in. Why are you insisting on finding ways when it seems he’s totally not into it?
Curious what your background is that you’re even thinking these things might make sense.
Side note those that do wear ties with a shtreimel cuz of their minhag are not quite wearing one with a pop of color

amother

↑ Lilac

Mon, Jun 17 2024, 4:52 pm

amother Valerian wrote:

This. The rebba's that wear a tie, wear a black tie.

amother

Gladiolus

Mon, Jun 17 2024, 4:56 pm

There a new style that some young chassidish men are doing where they do a diff color lining inside the bekeshe- you only see it when they pick it up to sit

amother

Stoneblue ↓

Mon, Jun 17 2024, 5:07 pm

amother Orchid wrote:

Never seen those combinations. I’ve seen ties with suits and bent up hats

The boyaner rebbi wears that.
Ruzin einiklech wear this