Depressed because can't keep up with styles

amother

Mon, Jun 17 2024, 12:48 am

I'm going through a very hard time feeling terrible because of my inability to keep up with trends due to my cluelessness.

I feel looked down at by everyone since everyone else seems to "make it" and dress up to date and its only me that keeps messing up every season again by buying the wrong things.

The amount of money I spend and then just don't use it

I'm too embarrassed to ask anyone for help.

Any advice?

amother

Jade

Mon, Jun 17 2024, 12:49 am

Where do you live?
What’s your budget?
Shopping locally is one trick to stay current.
Also, you can post here and we can help you.

amother

Mon, Jun 17 2024, 12:51 am

amother Jade wrote:

Where do you live?
What’s your budget?
Shopping locally is one trick to stay current.
Also, you can post here and we can help you.

Montreal

I can't afford the local stores

I need cheaper alternatives

amother

Sienna

Mon, Jun 17 2024, 12:51 am

🫂hugs! I relate! I find it’s just easier to get over my embarrassment and ask for help than to suffer from the noise and depression in my head that happens after I make clueless decisions.

amother

Mon, Jun 17 2024, 12:52 am

amother Sienna wrote:

🫂hugs! I relate! I find it’s just easier to get over my embarrassment and ask for help than to suffer from the noise and depression in my head that happens after I make clueless decisions.

Its too hard for me to ask. So yes I stay with suffering from clueless decisions..

My depression is having terrible effects on my poor husband and kids.

I cried about it today all day, when I realized again how off I am

amother

Mon, Jun 17 2024, 12:57 am

Is there anyone on here that does make it and can help by linking cheap stylish options?

The situation is desperate..

amother

Mon, Jun 17 2024, 12:58 am

amother Jade wrote:

It is suffering.
OP can we help you try to build a wardrobe?

Yes thanks!

That would mean a lot!

amother

Celeste

Mon, Jun 17 2024, 12:58 am

Omg this is me! I buy clothes and then realize they’re too off to wear… and I too am so embarrassed to ask for help. I don’t have the best figure and am self conscious to begin with! Things I buy I’ll see on elderly women or twelve year old girls but never on someone my age (mid 30s). And it does make me so sad!!

amother

Mon, Jun 17 2024, 1:01 am

amother Celeste wrote:

Same here..

I'm fat Sad

And I feel so so horrible for the money that gets wasted, I end up just throwing out...

DrMom

Mon, Jun 17 2024, 1:04 am

I am glad people are reaching out to help you.

I think it is also important to remember that you have intrinsic worth. Your worth is not defined by your wardrobe!

You'll feel like you are running on a pointless and exhausting hamster wheel if you constantly worry about being trendy. The fashion industry creates rapidly changing trends to maje consumers feel insecure. At some point, you need to admit that it is not worth it to worry so much about this stuff.

amother

Celeste

Mon, Jun 17 2024, 1:07 am

DrMom wrote:

This is only true to an extent. I’ve had phone relationships with people who I’d later meet and they almost always say I didn’t imagine you to look this way! Aka based on how I sounded they thought I’d be more put together… and even if we’re tough and resilient peoples judgement affects us. I live in town (Lakewood) and it’s tough!!!

amother

Mon, Jun 17 2024, 1:08 am

DrMom wrote:

At this point all I could think about is how everyone sees me as a fool.

My friends and family are very much fashion minded and I feel terrible that I can't match up.

amother

Mon, Jun 17 2024, 1:12 am

amother Jade wrote:

It is suffering.
OP can we help you try to build a wardrobe?

Jade, do you have any suggestions?

Thanks!

amother

Jade

Mon, Jun 17 2024, 1:15 am

I’m not the best lol but can try to help get this started
Want to start with a weekday outfit or Shabbos outfit?
What colors do you like? What’s your body shape and what’s your budget? What’s your style- do you feel more comfortable casual or formal? What do you like what do you hate?

amother

Orange

Mon, Jun 17 2024, 1:17 am

Op, I relate. And not just with clothing. I also buy the wrong China, send the wrong gifts, choose the wrong backpacks or shoes for my kids. Cut my sheitel in an old fashioned way. I end of spending lots of money and anyway not getting it. It's a skill I'm lacking. I just don't get the latest trends and am always a season or two behind. It makes me miserable but it's my life story. What's wrong with us? Is there anything we can do to help it or it's a handicap we were born with?
ETA I often ask others before buying but there's so much you can ask about every purchase before others get annoyed.

DrMom

Mon, Jun 17 2024, 1:21 am

amother OP wrote:

At this point all I could think about is how everyone sees me as a fool.

My friends and family are very much fashion minded and I feel terrible that I can't match up.

I'm so sorry your friends (!) and family view you in this way.

I don't know about your family, but your friends choose to be your friends, so I'm sure they appreciate your other fine qualities. Sunny

amother

Mon, Jun 17 2024, 1:21 am

amother Jade wrote:

I live in NY.
For weekday women can wear a nice sneaker, denim midi skirt and a tee shirt.
Does that talk to you?

Yes thats a help!