Is this something to tell host in advance?

amother

OP ↓

Mon, Jun 10 2024, 7:23 pm

I eat healthy, is that something a host needs to know in advance? I'm not off anything in particular but I try to eat as healthy as I can.
If I go to a meal that's just pastas cheesecakes and puff pastry types of things, I won't have much I would like to eat.
What do you think? What's the protocol as a guest? If I am supposed to say in advance how would I word it?

amother

Poppy

Mon, Jun 10 2024, 7:27 pm

You can mention to the host beforehand that you are trying to stay healthy, if she can have some salads available at each meal or if you can make/bring

Personally if it were me- I wouldn’t say anything. Unless it was an allergy, medical condition or I very much couldn’t stomach certain foods, I would just suck it up and eat what was offered. It’s just a few meals

amother

Papayawhip

Mon, Jun 10 2024, 7:27 pm

Why don’t you offer to bring a salad or a side that meets your needs? I think that comes across as more gracious than trying to steer the menu. It would be one thing if you had an allergy or a disease like celiac or diabetes. While these may be good choices, it’s a little hard to impose them on your hosts(particularly when certain holidays prescribe menus that may not favor your choices.). Another option would be to eat something that conforms to your needs/desires first and then eat lightly at your hosts. Chag Sameach!

amother

Sage ↓

Mon, Jun 10 2024, 7:28 pm

Offer to bring.
Tell her how excited you are to spend YT with her and that you know it is so much work, can you bring a side of salmon and some salads. Hopefully she will gather from that what you eat and take you up on it/be appreciative and realize that you are not taking her for granted.

amother

Strawberry

Mon, Jun 10 2024, 7:40 pm

I would only mention to hosts if it was because of an allergy or health condition.
Otherwise, I'd bring food with me.

amother

Chestnut

Mon, Jun 10 2024, 7:48 pm

Honestly if you aren't a dairy eater, which most people who eat consciously are, either bring something to eat or ask the host for the menu to get an idea if there will be anything to eat.

amother

Lightgray ↓

Mon, Jun 10 2024, 8:01 pm

IME you diet on your own time and in your own home. if you go to someone’s home it’s rude not to eat anything. I also think unless you’re asked in advance about your preferences, it’s rude to make an announcement like ‘I eat healthy’

Anonymiss 1

Mon, Jun 10 2024, 8:04 pm

ima22 wrote:

I'm on a bit of a health kick... can I bring a salad?

As a host I’d definitely want to know in advance. I’d hate to prepare a bunch of food that my guests wouldn’t eat.
I usually ask about preferences, but the above is good if the host doesn’t ask.

ra_mom

Mon, Jun 10 2024, 8:07 pm

Isn't it late to tell your host something like that? Text her and tell her I prepared two salads, hope it's ok to bring them along. Also, are you having any fish? If not I have a fresh side of salmon in my fridge, I'm happy to bake it and bring it along. So excited to see you!

amother

Acacia

Mon, Jun 10 2024, 8:12 pm

I wouldn't. As a host, I'd be annoyed if a guest would tell me that. Bringing your own salad is fine as long as it's enough for everyone else too.

amother

Tangerine ↓

Mon, Jun 10 2024, 8:14 pm

amother OP wrote:

Allergies should be shared. Preferences usually not. My solution would be to volunteer to bring something to the meal that you will enjoy and be able to fill up on. Like a huge garden salad for example. And then fill in with whatever you can.

amother

Fern

Mon, Jun 10 2024, 8:15 pm

Since it's Shavuos, I think a nice way to bring it up would be to tell the host that you would love to make a salad or side dish, so would the meal(s) be milchig or fleishig so you know what keilim to use. That will also give you a better idea of what to expect without specifically asking.

amother

Mimosa

Mon, Jun 10 2024, 8:23 pm

I hate to say this, but the time to tell was when you got the invite. The only thing to do now is bring healthy food, enough to share with everyone, or just eat what is served.

Still, I would be very annoyed if I worked hard to cook a bunch of food that my guest wouldn't eat, and then they just ate their own food.

Anyone with any special food requests should state them as soon as invited, so the host can decide if that's something they can handle.

amother

Navy

Mon, Jun 10 2024, 8:31 pm

ra_mom wrote:

I can’t stand fish and would be annoyed if my guest brought fish. It’s one thing if I’m at their house, but if they bring it to mine and I have to wash the plates after, I’d be very grossed out. Salad is fine to offer

hodeez

Mon, Jun 10 2024, 8:32 pm

amother Lightgray wrote:

I totally agree, I would be so stressed trying to make everything healthy and then everything would probably taste gross :/

zaq

Mon, Jun 10 2024, 9:22 pm

What lightgrey said.
Choose the healthiest options from what's offered and skip dessert or have a tiny portion. One meal, or even two whole days, of "impure" foods won't set you back if you choose carefully and watch your portion sizes.

Ema of 5 ↓

Mon, Jun 10 2024, 9:36 pm

amother OP wrote:

Yes please!!! Please tell me ANYTHING, no matter how small and inconsequential you think it is. I want my guests to be happy and well fed.

amother

Aquamarine

Mon, Jun 10 2024, 9:38 pm

Protocol as guest is to eat whatever food the host prepares. It’s fine to take a break from eating healthier. Asking her to make healthy food could stress her out a lot.