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-> Household Management
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Elfrida
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 Mon, Jun 10 2024, 1:41 am
| amother Seablue wrote: | | What is she doing, spending two hours to wash dishes? Even after the Seder it takes me less than an hour. And that's multiple courses for extended family and guests, and extras like wine glasses for everyone. |
Pro tip; wash dishes between courses. Fish plates and soup bowls wash easily, and you can stand them to drain. By the time.e you've finished the main course, you can just put them away. That saves a lot of time after the meal.
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internationalma
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Mon, Jun 10 2024, 1:52 am
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I think it dep the kind of guest you have over . I def cut down on family friend guests , cost me a fortune it’s not a mitzvah as such they have their home family ect . If you host singles or ppl that have no one it’s diff but usually lots less pressure too.
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NewStart
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Mon, Jun 10 2024, 1:57 am
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Would you do a potluck meal?
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amother
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Mon, Jun 10 2024, 1:59 am
We did both- cut down amount and frequency of guests as well as cut down what we make/serve. We don't buy most things. We buy chumus because it is almost the same price when it doesn't last in the fridge as long as store bought (I know, preservatives but I dont have the money now to be picky). I make 1 simple I bowl cake. Nothing fancy. I try to not buy obscure ingredients for just 1 recipe.
We don't do multiple courses, even with guests. No fish. Soup, main and maybe 2 sides at night, main and 2 sides at day. Plus dips for challah. People know we are simple menu people. Delicious but not fancy.
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amother
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Mon, Jun 10 2024, 7:06 am
We don't have an eruv where we live.
Our guests don't necessarily need a meal, they need a break and some company. Some are family members, some neighbors, some friends. Halachically it's not considered hachnosas orchim, but it really enhances my shabbos. I have other big challenges in life and having guests is very meaningful for me.
I also cook for bikur cholim and kimpertin mother's but the Rav told us the ingredients for that can be maaser.
I can't wash between the courses, I'm hosting guests, I need to be at the table.
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Bnei Berak 10
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Mon, Jun 10 2024, 7:10 am
| amother OP wrote: | Also the cost of paper goods is so high. If it's just us that's only a few dishes to wash, I'll use real but to have nice papergoods is also adding up.
I don't feel comfortable serving as little as I do when it's just us. I'll be the subject of one of those threads 
Its also the quantity of things. Sleepover guests is double the cereal, double the milk, double the yogurts, fruit, crackers and snacks to have around. |
Cut out the expensive items like yogurts.
I don't get it, with three Shabbos meals who has the appetite for snacks and crackers and fruit?
Why the hug?
Last edited by Bnei Berak 10 on Mon, Jun 10 2024, 7:52 am; edited 1 time in total
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amother
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Mon, Jun 10 2024, 7:13 am
| amother Seablue wrote: | | What is she doing, spending two hours to wash dishes? Even after the Seder it takes me less than an hour. And that's multiple courses for extended family and guests, and extras like wine glasses for everyone. |
It’s true that it takes less than 2 hours to wash everything but she won’t come for less time. So after the hour of washing, drying, putting away and washing out the sink she will sweep, straighten up some other rooms, clean the bathroom, take out the garbage…
In my neighborhood it’s not possible to find a cleaning lady who will come for just an hour.
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amother
Mocha
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Mon, Jun 10 2024, 7:17 am
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Since groceries became so exorbitant this past 2 years instead of hosting every other week or monthly, we host just a few times a year it’s embarrassing for my husband to not have a grand seuda when hosting( I didn’t grow up like that) so we save up, when we have enough we invite and unfortunately only hosted twice this year.
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Elfrida
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Mon, Jun 10 2024, 7:23 am
| amother OP wrote: |
I can't wash between the courses, I'm hosting guests, I need to be at the table. |
It only takes a few minutes to wash half a dozen plates, and doesnt cause any real dekay in the meal. My guests are quite happy to talk among themselves for a few minutes, or else come into the kitchen and help me.
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amother
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Mon, Jun 10 2024, 7:29 am
| Elfrida wrote: | | It only takes a few minutes to wash half a dozen plates, and doesnt cause any real dekay in the meal. My guests are quite happy to talk among themselves for a few minutes, or else come into the kitchen and help me. |
Half a dozen plates?? That’s a grand total of 6 plates!
We’re talking about washing 16+ plates after each course with the silverware too.
That’s too time consuming when the guests are waiting.
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WhatFor
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Mon, Jun 10 2024, 7:33 am
| amother OP wrote: | I'm not so fancy. My regular guest menu:
Challah
3 Dips
Fish (g fish or salmon)
2 salads
Chicken soup
Roast chicken, potato kugel, grain, sweet kugel, roasted veggies
Dessert
Shabbos day:
Challah
3 Dips
Fish
2 salads
Grain/ pasta salad leftovers are eaten in the afternoon
Kugel
Cholent
Franks in blanks or grilled chicken
Roasted vegetable
Dessert fruit
Without guests:
Challah
Chumus
Flaked Salmon over salad
Soup
Chicken rice green beans
Cake
Shabbos lunch we seldom make a second course if we do it's just cholent. |
Just throwing out some thoughts, apologies if any are super obvious to you and you've already thought of it and can't do it for whatever reason:
You wrote salmon or gefilte fish- not sure of the prices where you live, but where I am salmon is much more expensive per serving than gefilte fish. If it's the same where you live, I'd immediately scrap salmon for gefilte fish, if I had to cut costs and wanted to keep inviting people.
Also, it's totally fine for you to ask guests to bring some things on that list. How many groups of guests are you hosting a meal? If one family, asking them if they could bring two salads, or one salad and dips, is a perfectly reasonable request. If more, spread it around - one brings salad, one brings dips, one brings cut fruit for dessert. You can always have a backup babka or cake in the freezer, to break out in case a guest forgets the dessert.
Also, as far as cut fruit and roasted veg: sorry if I'm stating something super obvious to you, but prices can very drastically. Are you being mindful when you buy fruit/vegetables to buy things in season (so cheaper per lb) or are you buying some nicer fruit because you're hosting, but not necessarily tracking pound for price? On that note, have you done price comparisons of local stores for produce? You can either just go through them writing down prices, or save the receipts when you shop at one and compare the next week when you shop at others.
These tiny things add up.
When you wrote double yogurt, I'm not sure if you're buying individual packets but if you are, another great place to save. You can buy the large containers and if you want flavored, you can add strawberry (or any fruit) preserves or honey.
Also it seems like you host a lot but don't really go out? If your guest offer to return the favor, taking them up on it every so often is another way to save.
And of course it doesn't have to be all or nothing. You can do one meal instead of all, overnight but fewer guests, sans making sure every certain amount of weeks it's just your family.
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Elfrida
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Mon, Jun 10 2024, 7:36 am
| amother Lotus wrote: | Half a dozen plates?? That’s a grand total of 6 plates!
We’re talking about washing 16+ plates after each course with the silverware too.
That’s too time consuming when the guests are waiting. |
So wash sixteen plates. It really doesn't take very long. Fish plates and soup bowls arent greasy, and don’t take ages to scrub. You can leave the cutlery and do it after the meal, if you prefer.
When you do the dishes between courses, you can also put them away, meaning you have space to drain the plates from the next course, instead of having to find space all at once.
It's only on Friday night, anyway. Shabbos day, you aren't normally needing the dishes again, so there's no reason to wash them on Shabbos.
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Bnei Berak 10
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Mon, Jun 10 2024, 7:45 am
| amother Lotus wrote: | Half a dozen plates?? That’s a grand total of 6 plates!
We’re talking about washing 16+ plates after each course with the silverware too.
That’s too time consuming when the guests are waiting. |
I assume there are no teenage sons or daughters who are able to do some washing up?
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amother
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Mon, Jun 10 2024, 9:17 am
| WhatFor wrote: | Just throwing out some thoughts, apologies if any are super obvious to you and you've already thought of it and can't do it for whatever reason:
You wrote salmon or gefilte fish- not sure of the prices where you live, but where I am salmon is much more expensive per serving than gefilte fish. If it's the same where you live, I'd immediately scrap salmon for gefilte fish, if I had to cut costs and wanted to keep inviting people.
Also, it's totally fine for you to ask guests to bring some things on that list. How many groups of guests are you hosting a meal? If one family, asking them if they could bring two salads, or one salad and dips, is a perfectly reasonable request. If more, spread it around - one brings salad, one brings dips, one brings cut fruit for dessert. You can always have a backup babka or cake in the freezer, to break out in case a guest forgets the dessert.
Also, as far as cut fruit and roasted veg: sorry if I'm stating something super obvious to you, but prices can very drastically. Are you being mindful when you buy fruit/vegetables to buy things in season (so cheaper per lb) or are you buying some nicer fruit because you're hosting, but not necessarily tracking pound for price? On that note, have you done price comparisons of local stores for produce? You can either just go through them writing down prices, or save the receipts when you shop at one and compare the next week when you shop at others.
These tiny things add up.
When you wrote double yogurt, I'm not sure if you're buying individual packets but if you are, another great place to save. You can buy the large containers and if you want flavored, you can add strawberry (or any fruit) preserves or honey.
Also it seems like you host a lot but don't really go out? If your guest offer to return the favor, taking them up on it every so often is another way to save.
And of course it doesn't have to be all or nothing. You can do one meal instead of all, overnight but fewer guests, sans making sure every certain amount of weeks it's just your family. |
Its true we don't go out much. We have children with special needs who don't necessarily behave appropriately in other people's homes. We have become the hosters. I am very laid back and have a very comfortable home, people like to eat over because they don't have to stress (I'm used to mess, meltdowns etc). It also helps my shabbos not feel like absolute chaos to have guests.
I struggle a lot with my parenting and my special children (emotionally), success and validation from guests are my hosting and cooking means a lot to me.
I am usually careful with price comparing. Salmon is served when I have guests who are diet conscious. Or it's on sale.
Culturally people don't really bring food for meals. Someone may bring one item dessert or a salad but because there's no eruv it's delivered before shabbos and it's a bit of an annoyance to people. If someone offers I do take them up on it. But I'm not so comfortable asking.
Larger size yogurts is a good idea.
I make everything homemade at this point.
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amother
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Mon, Jun 10 2024, 9:21 am
I can do real if we have 10 people or less. Maybe I should be better about really counting and doing that.
Washing in cold water doesn't get the dishes very clean so I can do it for one meal.
Maybe there is also a hack for cheaper nice papergoods.
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amother
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Mon, Jun 10 2024, 9:49 am
| amother OP wrote: | I'm not so fancy. My regular guest menu:
Challah
3 Dips
Fish (g fish or salmon)
2 salads
Chicken soup
Roast chicken, potato kugel, grain, sweet kugel, roasted veggies
Dessert
Shabbos day:
Challah
3 Dips
Fish
2 salads
Grain/ pasta salad leftovers are eaten in the afternoon
Kugel
Cholent
Franks in blanks or grilled chicken
Roasted vegetable
Dessert fruit
Without guests:
Challah
Chumus
Flaked Salmon over salad
Soup
Chicken rice green beans
Cake
Shabbos lunch we seldom make a second course if we do it's just cholent. |
You can totally cut down that menu. Do you need potato kugel, a sweet kugel and a grain? All at one meal? I make 1. You don't need 2 salads each meal, especially when you do a roasted vegetable.
And how much are you spending per plate? Maybe you can buy in bulk for pretty plates?
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amother
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Mon, Jun 10 2024, 9:56 am
When no guests it’s just
Homemade challah with 1 store bought dip
Gefilte
Soup
Chicken
Kugel
Green Beans or steamed broccoli
With guests
Homemade challah
A few dips
Gefilte
Knaidlach with the soup
Chicken
Potato kugel
Lukshen or apple kugel
Franks n blanks or deli rolls
Hot poppers
Cucumber salad or coleslaw
Dessert
Chocolates to munch on
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amother
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Mon, Jun 10 2024, 11:44 am
| amother Acacia wrote: | You can totally cut down that menu. Do you need potato kugel, a sweet kugel and a grain? All at one meal? I make 1. You don't need 2 salads each meal, especially when you do a roasted vegetable.
And how much are you spending per plate? Maybe you can buy in bulk for pretty plates? |
I try to accommodate for the different dietary needs and preferences. Healthy, kid friendly, what my husband likes etc.
The salads are served first course, the vegetable is served second course. Do you not serve salads at your shabbos meals? In my community serving salads first course is basic.
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amother
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Mon, Jun 10 2024, 11:55 am
| amother OP wrote: | I try to accommodate for the different dietary needs and preferences. Healthy, kid friendly, what my husband likes etc.
The salads are served first course, the vegetable is served second course. Do you not serve salads at your shabbos meals? In my community serving salads first course is basic. |
No, I don’t usually have salad at the night meal when we have hot vegetables.
I serve one type of salad with the day meal.
There’s always pickles and hot peppers..
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Reality
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Mon, Jun 10 2024, 12:16 pm
| amother OP wrote: | I try to accommodate for the different dietary needs and preferences. Healthy, kid friendly, what my husband likes etc.
The salads are served first course, the vegetable is served second course. Do you not serve salads at your shabbos meals? In my community serving salads first course is basic. |
I would keep the salads. People love that course. I'd cut out some of the main course. By that point most people are full. I keep the salads on the table in case anyone wants more veggies during the main. This cuts out making a separate hot vegetable for the main course.
Also, I think 3 starches at one meal is a lot. I'd choose 1 or 2 that everyone likes.
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