I suspect 18yo DS has eating disorder

amother

OP ↓

Wed, May 29 2024, 4:38 pm

He rarely eats some days. When he does it's usually junk food like candies or sugary drinks. He also lies about whether he's eaten and says "I'm not hungry" a lot.

What is the first step I should take to help him? Does anyone have experience in this with boys??

amother

PlumPink

Wed, May 29 2024, 4:58 pm

Does he work out or interested in shaping his body?
Is he smoking or on medication or some kind of appetite suppressant?

amother

↑ OP

Wed, May 29 2024, 5:06 pm

amother PlumPink wrote:

Does he work out or interested in shaping his body?
Is he smoking or on medication or some kind of appetite suppressant?

He rarely works out. Not into shaping his body except likes to be thin.

amother

Honey

Wed, May 29 2024, 7:20 pm

Where are you located? I’ve been working with an eating disorder specialist for a few years for one of my children, younger than yours. You can ask an admin to reach out if you want more info.

amother

Valerian ↓

Wed, May 29 2024, 7:22 pm

As someone who self diagnosed with inattentive adhd at age 28 and suddenly my whole life made sense

It takes too much executive functioning for me to eat. I have lived on rice cakes and sliced cheese. Once I went through a baby carrot and Hummus phase. I happen to not like candy or soda or it could've been that. I don't get hungry. I have zero issues with food, weight or my body. I'll eat whatever is in front of me. But I won't make myself food or even buy or order it.

amother

Celeste

Wed, May 29 2024, 7:22 pm

Take him for a general checkup. Let your doctor weigh him. Tell the doctor your concerned he may be losing weight. Let your son hear you.

amother

Yolk ↓

Wed, May 29 2024, 7:25 pm

amother Valerian wrote:

If you self diagnosed, how can you be sure that this is what your problem is?
I'm just pointing out to OP to speak to a Dr before jumping to conclusions or self diagnosing her child. Better safe then sorry.

amother

↑ Valerian

Wed, May 29 2024, 7:29 pm

amother Yolk wrote:

A formal diagnosis is just a formality and I won't take meds so I'm not going to jump through those hoops.

I'm offering a different possible reason. My behavior can also look like an eating disorder. But inside my head it's not. She should get to the root whether it's medical or otherwise

Bnei Berak 10

Wed, May 29 2024, 7:43 pm

amother Valerian wrote:

As someone who self diagnosed with inattentive adhd at age 28 and suddenly my whole life made sense

It takes too much executive functioning for me to eat.

Are you serious? What executive function does it take? To open your mouth, chew and swallow?
I'm speechless

cnc ↓

Wed, May 29 2024, 9:02 pm

Bnei Berak 10 wrote:

Are you serious? What executive function does it take? To open your mouth, chew and swallow?
I'm speechless

Think about and decide what you'd like to eat.
Make sure you have it all on hand whether that entails making a grocery list and menu plan for the week and going to the store or giving over the information to whoever is in charge of preparing food in your house.
Cook it/ prepare it....
and then open your mouth, chew and swallow..

amother

Bottlebrush

Wed, May 29 2024, 9:08 pm

cnc wrote:

This doesn’t sound like what Op is describing, since when she asks him about eating he claims he’s not hungry. You say you have no problem eating if food is in front of you, clearly he just doesn’t want to eat in general

Also, please don’t recommend self diagnosing. A diagnosis is not just a formality. Unless you are a doctor, you have no education or experience to be making a diagnosis and just because you assume something based on googling symptoms, doesn’t mean your right

amother

Papayawhip ↓

Wed, May 29 2024, 9:16 pm

Bnei Berak 10 wrote:

Are you serious? What executive function does it take? To open your mouth, chew and swallow?
I'm speechless

No need to be nasty… you could just ask if you’re confused.

The executive function relates to making the decision of what to eat, buying and preparing the food, etc. Sometimes it’s even making the very small decision of how hungry you are.

Often a person struggling with EF will just give up on the “big” decisions and grab the easiest thing available, which can easily mean eating a bag of chips for supper.

amother

↑ Yolk ↓

Wed, May 29 2024, 9:16 pm

amother Valerian wrote:

So many things wrong with this.
First of all, a diagnosis is not just a medical formality. There are also many other options other then medications.
Also, please don't reassure a mother worried about her son based on your self diagnosis.
Also, people with actual eating disorders also say that everyone else thinks they have a problem but in their heads they don't think so.

amother

↑ Yolk

Wed, May 29 2024, 9:19 pm

amother Papayawhip wrote:

No need to be nasty… you could just ask if you’re confused.

The executive function relates to making the decision of what to eat, buying and preparing the food, etc. Sometimes it’s even making the very small decision of how hungry you are.

Often a person struggling with EF will just give up on the “big” decision and grab the easiest thing available, which can easily mean eating a bag of chips for supper.

Someone struggling with EF usually does not starve themselve.
OP is specifically saying her son isn't eating at all and says he isn't hungry or lies about what he ate, I think this is more then just EF.

↑ cnc

Wed, May 29 2024, 9:21 pm

amother Bottlebrush wrote:

Wrong poster. I'm not that poster...

amother

Hyssop

Wed, May 29 2024, 10:09 pm

OP, I urge you to start with your son's pediatrician or adult medicine doctor. Rule out physical health problems that can cause loss of appetite, weight loss. They can make referrals to eating disorder specialists if needed. davening for you!