My 6yr old CRIES when either parent leaves the house

amother

OP ↓

Thu, May 23 2024, 8:20 pm

I'm at a loss. he's actually crying bitterly, he wants to say tehillim in his bed. yesterday was the same thing when one of us had to go out for a bit.
he's really struggling all day in so many areas, not anxiety, but this takes the cake.
what can I do?

amother

Wheat ↓

Thu, May 23 2024, 8:22 pm

This is anxiety. I think it's time to have him evaluated by a social worker or therapist. Play therapy can do wonders for children.
Good luck!

amother

Freesia ↓

Thu, May 23 2024, 8:24 pm

This was pandas for my kid. Crazy separation anxiety out of the blue. She had zero issue leaving me to go to school or a friend, but if I tried the leave the house she would literally get violent.

What else is he struggling with?

amother

↑ OP ↓

Thu, May 23 2024, 8:32 pm

amother Freesia wrote:

exactly this. he loves going to school and friends but we don't dare leave him.
he has rage, throws things, social anxiety, will only play with a select few kids, definitely some sensory issues.
I just called the doc to make an appt.
this separation anxiety is new though.

amother

↑ Freesia

Thu, May 23 2024, 8:33 pm

amother OP wrote:

Sounds like pandas. Try giving him motrin, see if the behaviors improve.

amother

Cherry

Thu, May 23 2024, 8:33 pm

This was my child months after he was violated by an older child in the community. (He was not actually molested but violated) it took many of those cries for him to finally tell us this was the source of his anxiety. (We were aware of the incident, just didn’t realize how affected he was)

amother

↑ Wheat ↓

Thu, May 23 2024, 8:40 pm

amother OP wrote:

If he's fine at school, it may be intense anxiety that something bad will happen to you/DH when you're not home. Especially if he cries & says tehillim also when just 1 of you leaves the house.

amother

↑ OP

Thu, May 23 2024, 8:51 pm

amother Wheat wrote:

If he's fine at school, it may be intense anxiety that something bad will happen to you/DH when you're not home. Especially if he cries & says tehillim also when just 1 of you leaves the house.

yea, he told me what if you dont come back? what if something bad happens to daddy?
I don't know what triggered this sudden new fear.

amother

↑ Wheat

Thu, May 23 2024, 8:54 pm

amother OP wrote:

yea, he told me what if you dont come back? what if something bad happens to daddy?
I don't know what triggered this sudden new fear.

Did something like this happen recently to one of his friends or anyone you know?
Maybe the teacher told a story or he kids were talking in school about this topic?

behappy2

Thu, May 23 2024, 9:03 pm

It's very normal for kids this age to develop new fears, especially a kid who already has anxiety.

amother

Blueberry

Thu, May 23 2024, 9:24 pm

amother OP wrote:

yea, he told me what if you dont come back? what if something bad happens to daddy?
I don't know what triggered this sudden new fear.

I had severe anxiety when my parents would go out to the point of throwing up. I think it was around the time I understood more about what death meant and I worried what if something happened to them, what would happen to us kids.

amother

Whitewash

Thu, May 23 2024, 10:07 pm

amother OP wrote:

yea, he told me what if you dont come back? what if something bad happens to daddy?
I don't know what triggered this sudden new fear.

I'll never forget when my son's morah got engaged and left overnight. The next day when my husband went to mincha, my son was hysterical. I think he thought that just like his morah who he was attached to just got up and left one day, what's to stop anyone else in his life doing the same? He was younger than your son, but does your son maybe have someone he's attached to who left suddenly? A teacher/rebbe/family member?

amother

↑ Natural

Thu, May 23 2024, 10:14 pm

amother OP wrote:

yea, he told me what if you dont come back? what if something bad happens to daddy?
I don't know what triggered this sudden new fear.

Get him to a therapist right away before it spirals further out of control.