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Forum -> Parenting our children -> School age children
My 6yr old CRIES when either parent leaves the house



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amother
OP  


 

Post Thu, May 23 2024, 5:20 pm
I'm at a loss. he's actually crying bitterly, he wants to say tehillim in his bed. yesterday was the same thing when one of us had to go out for a bit.
he's really struggling all day in so many areas, not anxiety, but this takes the cake.
what can I do?
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amother
Wheat  


 

Post Thu, May 23 2024, 5:22 pm
This is anxiety. I think it's time to have him evaluated by a social worker or therapist. Play therapy can do wonders for children.
Good luck!
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amother
Natural  


 

Post Thu, May 23 2024, 5:24 pm
This is stereotypical anxiety. Does he have a therapist?
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amother
Freesia  


 

Post Thu, May 23 2024, 5:24 pm
This was pandas for my kid. Crazy separation anxiety out of the blue. She had zero issue leaving me to go to school or a friend, but if I tried the leave the house she would literally get violent.

What else is he struggling with?
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amother
Hyssop


 

Post Thu, May 23 2024, 5:26 pm
Was he always like this or is this something new?
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amother
  OP  


 

Post Thu, May 23 2024, 5:32 pm
amother Freesia wrote:
This was pandas for my kid. Crazy separation anxiety out of the blue. She had zero issue leaving me to go to school or a friend, but if I tried the leave the house she would literally get violent.

What else is he struggling with?


exactly this. he loves going to school and friends but we don't dare leave him.
he has rage, throws things, social anxiety, will only play with a select few kids, definitely some sensory issues.
I just called the doc to make an appt.
this separation anxiety is new though.
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amother
  Freesia


 

Post Thu, May 23 2024, 5:33 pm
amother OP wrote:
exactly this. he loves going to school and friends but we don't dare leave him.
he has rage, throws things, social anxiety, will only play with a select few kids, definitely some sensory issues.
I just called the doc to make an appt.
this separation anxiety is new though.
Sounds like pandas. Try giving him motrin, see if the behaviors improve.
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amother
Cherry


 

Post Thu, May 23 2024, 5:33 pm
This was my child months after he was violated by an older child in the community. (He was not actually molested but violated) it took many of those cries for him to finally tell us this was the source of his anxiety. (We were aware of the incident, just didn’t realize how affected he was)
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amother
  Wheat  


 

Post Thu, May 23 2024, 5:40 pm
amother OP wrote:
exactly this. he loves going to school and friends but we don't dare leave him.
he has rage, throws things, social anxiety, will only play with a select few kids, definitely some sensory issues.
I just called the doc to make an appt.
this separation anxiety is new though.


If he's fine at school, it may be intense anxiety that something bad will happen to you/DH when you're not home. Especially if he cries & says tehillim also when just 1 of you leaves the house.
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amother
  OP


 

Post Thu, May 23 2024, 5:51 pm
amother Wheat wrote:
If he's fine at school, it may be intense anxiety that something bad will happen to you/DH when you're not home. Especially if he cries & says tehillim also when just 1 of you leaves the house.


yea, he told me what if you dont come back? what if something bad happens to daddy?
I don't know what triggered this sudden new fear.
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amother
  Wheat


 

Post Thu, May 23 2024, 5:54 pm
amother OP wrote:
yea, he told me what if you dont come back? what if something bad happens to daddy?
I don't know what triggered this sudden new fear.


Did something like this happen recently to one of his friends or anyone you know?
Maybe the teacher told a story or he kids were talking in school about this topic?
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behappy2




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, May 23 2024, 6:03 pm
It's very normal for kids this age to develop new fears, especially a kid who already has anxiety.
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amother
Blueberry


 

Post Thu, May 23 2024, 6:24 pm
amother OP wrote:
yea, he told me what if you dont come back? what if something bad happens to daddy?
I don't know what triggered this sudden new fear.

I had severe anxiety when my parents would go out to the point of throwing up. I think it was around the time I understood more about what death meant and I worried what if something happened to them, what would happen to us kids.
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amother
Whitewash


 

Post Thu, May 23 2024, 7:07 pm
amother OP wrote:
yea, he told me what if you dont come back? what if something bad happens to daddy?
I don't know what triggered this sudden new fear.


I'll never forget when my son's morah got engaged and left overnight. The next day when my husband went to mincha, my son was hysterical. I think he thought that just like his morah who he was attached to just got up and left one day, what's to stop anyone else in his life doing the same? He was younger than your son, but does your son maybe have someone he's attached to who left suddenly? A teacher/rebbe/family member?
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amother
  Natural


 

Post Thu, May 23 2024, 7:14 pm
amother OP wrote:
yea, he told me what if you dont come back? what if something bad happens to daddy?
I don't know what triggered this sudden new fear.


Get him to a therapist right away before it spirals further out of control.
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