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Forum -> Parenting our children -> Our Challenging Children (gifted, ADHD, sensitive, defiant)
Getting a non-ASD child an ASD diagnosis to qualify for ABA
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amother
  Royalblue  


 

Post Wed, May 08 2024, 6:01 pm
amother OP wrote:
To clarify: I know ABA is not for him. It is purely to pacify the school. They know he won’t be able to get a diagnosis, but they also know that there are ppl who know how to play the system.
I cannot homeschool him- I work, and besides, I’d lose my sanity.
He is not behind socially at all- if anything, he is advanced in that category too.
The ADHD is a possible diagnosis, but I know that his diagnosis is completely dependent on what and how I share. Other than spending thousands and hours on a neuro-psych evaluation (which the school wanted lol) I don’t see a way to accurately diagnose my child.
We’re currently working with a child play therapist, but it will not solve our problem of getting him into school for the following year.


Get a real diagnosis for yourself. It doesn't have to cost so much. Many have sliding scales and insurance usually covers too. If he does have adhd he deserves the proper targeted help for that.
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amother
Darkblue  


 

Post Wed, May 08 2024, 6:02 pm
amother Bellflower wrote:
I don't understand what you're saying. As someone who did 2 very lengthy full evaluations (one private and one thru board of ed) and ended up with both asd and adhd. (Side point, I plan to test him out of both labels, imyh in another year and see how he does)

The parent observations are only one part of the evaluation. And most of what I provided was concrete objective data like stories or incidents.
A professional evaluator is needed for a diagnosis, yes. You want to scam a diagnosis over the phone from someone who hasn't even seen your child? That I wouldn't do. That's not even called playing the system, let's be honest, it's straight fraud.

In my case I really didn't think I'd get asd and honestly I don't think he's asd. But his behaviors and abilities are low enough to qualify for the diagnosis as established by 2 separate professionals. Your kid can be smart and still fail the test of what they're looking for especially since the spectrum got widened.
My 2e daughter with adhd also qualified for an asd diagnosis because there is enough overlap. And at 3 she was advanced socially and most of the other things op describes. She fell behind socially once she started school. And that age was when lots of other symptoms came out as well.

Are there people who just give the diagnosis with a phone call? How does that even work. How do they keep their license?

Op it sounds like you genuinely need a diagnosis because your child needs real help. Why wouldn’t you get the evaluation the school recommends? Why are you seeing it as just something you need to do to get the school off your back? Assuming the school is competent, you sound like a parent in denial.

The younger you can get interventions the better.
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amother
  Seafoam  


 

Post Wed, May 08 2024, 6:03 pm
Some Jewish kids end up in public school for a year when they’re young if the yeshivahs won’t take them without a shadow.
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amother
Raspberry


 

Post Wed, May 08 2024, 6:12 pm
There are many psychologists who will write an add diagnosis in exchange for cash.
Everything that insurance pays for stays on the record
There are so many ways people will know he had aba services even if they can’t access the record
And the other kids in the class and the school can also tell people that he needed aba in school
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  #BestBubby  




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, May 08 2024, 10:32 pm
Even if people knew he had services in preschool.

It won't matter if the boy doesn't need services and does well academically and socially when he is older.

Better to get the services he needs when he is little, so hopefully he won't need services when he is older.
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amother
NeonPink  


 

Post Wed, May 08 2024, 11:04 pm
#BestBubby wrote:
Even if people knew he had services in preschool.

It won't matter if the boy doesn't need services and does well academically and socially when he is older.

Better to get the services he needs when he is little, so hopefully he won't need services when he is older.

Doesn't this explain, though, why ASD diagnoses have skyrocketed in recent years?
And that it is not because of vaxxines, but because of how inherently wrong insurance and other policies are?

OP isn't alone, there are lots of parents paying for fake ASD diagnoses because that's the only way their children will get help, or because the schools pressured them into it.

Nothing to do with vaxxines or anything else.
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amother
  NeonPink


 

Post Wed, May 08 2024, 11:06 pm
To OP, even for ASD children, ABA is so controversial that I would think three times about doing it for a truly ASD child, and would never ever countenance it for a child who isn't really ASD.

At the extreme end, there are adults with ASD who call ABA out as actual child abuse.

So no I would absolutely not get a fake ASD diagnosis just so that I could give my child ABA to pacify the school.

It sounds like it is time to find a new school.

However please do get your child a proper and impartial, full neuropsychological evaluation, because it sounds like your child is struggling and needs both a correct diagnosis (so that you can understand what the struggles are) and the appropriate interventions. And better sooner than later.
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amother
  Bellflower  


 

Post Wed, May 08 2024, 11:07 pm
amother Darkblue wrote:
My 2e daughter with adhd also qualified for an asd diagnosis because there is enough overlap. And at 3 she was advanced socially and most of the other things op describes. She fell behind socially once she started school. And that age was when lots of other symptoms came out as well.

Are there people who just give the diagnosis with a phone call? How does that even work. How do they keep their license?

Op it sounds like you genuinely need a diagnosis because your child needs real help. Why wouldn’t you get the evaluation the school recommends? Why are you seeing it as just something you need to do to get the school off your back? Assuming the school is competent, you sound like a parent in denial.

The younger you can get interventions the better.


I also don't understand this. I suggested maybe it's 2e. This kid needs help, there's no such thing at age 4 as a smart kid that just needs a little more discipline. Maybe when we were growing up, now looking back I can say all those kids needed diagnoses to receive help and intervention.
And if that's the case then what's the problem to do an evaluation and receive one?
These things get worse not better with age.
Trust me you want a 4 year old with services. You don't want to start at 12 years old with no self esteem and years of wasted potential.
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LovesHashem




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, May 09 2024, 12:39 am
amother NeonPink wrote:
To OP, even for ASD children, ABA is so controversial that I would think three times about doing it for a truly ASD child, and would never ever countenance it for a child who isn't really ASD.

At the extreme end, there are adults with ASD who call ABA out as actual child abuse.

So no I would absolutely not get a fake ASD diagnosis just so that I could give my child ABA to pacify the school.

It sounds like it is time to find a new school.

However please do get your child a proper and impartial, full neuropsychological evaluation, because it sounds like your child is struggling and needs both a correct diagnosis (so that you can understand what the struggles are) and the appropriate interventions. And better sooner than later.


This.
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imasinger




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, May 09 2024, 3:02 am
It's sometimes less expensive, and covered by insurance, to get an evaluation from a developmental pediatrician. Would that help?

Please think seriously about doing as much evaluation as you can, to get a handle on the issues. Look for both OT and speech evaluations in addition to something more general.

Yes, it's expensive, but the stress on your pocket will overall be far less if you know and treat earlier in life. Teens or young adults diagnosed later can end up costing you in a whole lot of ways.
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yachnabobba




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, May 09 2024, 4:37 am
I find your question galling and highly offensive. There are two possibilities either you haven’t come to a place of acceptance about your child’s actual situation in which case he may honestly qualify for ABA or you are highly disrespectful of children who are actually neurodivergent. I’m not your neshoma shammas I am however the mother of a child with a significant disability who has to fight and claw for assistance because of people like you. There isn’t an endless deluge of government funding for children with disabilities and using it in the manner you describe is evil
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amother
Cantaloupe  


 

Post Thu, May 09 2024, 4:55 am
can someone please post a developmental ped in brooklyn that is top and wont just write up a diagnosis but actually figure out the real problem also a neuro psych im looking to find the root and real problem not just label him
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amother
  OP  


 

Post Thu, May 09 2024, 5:32 am
I’m genuinely confused by this thread. I’m still not sure what to do, but I do have a lot more information.
A few points:
he won’t go back to this school for elementary (it’s a girls school with a preschool).
I apologize to parents I may have slighted by this question. I do have a genuinely challenging child, this one is just not it.
That segues to my next point of being in denial. Because I have such a hair pulling, tear inducing child, I have what to compare to. I don’t think I am in denial about what may be wrong with him. He’s had no shortage of therapies- the latest of which is pointing to possible trauma from one of the instances when he was suspended and the way in which it was done, teaching him that adults are not secure, capable, etc, and that he is too much for them, which can be terrifying for a child.
I do believe that a school can label a child where they grow into that role and that it’s not denial by the parent.
He’s also received and OT and speech evaluation by the schools therapists and did not meet any of the criteria.
Additionally, the therapist we’re currently working with says ABA may be counterproductive with him- he will get a thrill out of testing the boundaries on every new skill.
And lastly, perhaps some people on this thread can elaborate on the various kinds of doctors and tests that may be done for someone who may have an alternative diagnosis- adhd, add, odd, etc.
I am by nature a very honest person and can’t see myself wrangling such a diagnosis - and besides, I truly believe that nothing good comes from lying
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amother
  Royalblue


 

Post Thu, May 09 2024, 5:37 am
amother OP wrote:
I’m genuinely confused by this thread. I’m still not sure what to do, but I do have a lot more information.
A few points:
he won’t go back to this school for elementary (it’s a girls school with a preschool).
I apologize to parents I may have slighted by this question. I do have a genuinely challenging child, this one is just not it.
That segues to my next point of being in denial. Because I have such a hair pulling, tear inducing child, I have what to compare to. I don’t think I am in denial about what may be wrong with him. He’s had no shortage of therapies- the latest of which is pointing to possible trauma from one of the instances when he was suspended and the way in which it was done, teaching him that adults are not secure, capable, etc, and that he is too much for them, which can be terrifying for a child.
I do believe that a school can label a child where they grow into that role and that it’s not denial by the parent.
He’s also received and OT and speech evaluation by the schools therapists and did not meet any of the criteria.
Additionally, the therapist we’re currently working with says ABA may be counterproductive with him- he will get a thrill out of testing the boundaries on every new skill.
And lastly, perhaps some people on this thread can elaborate on the various kinds of doctors and tests that may be done for someone who may have an alternative diagnosis- adhd, add, odd, etc.
I am by nature a very honest person and can’t see myself wrangling such a diagnosis - and besides, I truly believe that nothing good comes from lying


Go to a neuropsych for a real diagnosis. They will tell you all of his issues. You can then move on to target the correct help.
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  miami85  




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, May 09 2024, 6:26 am
The way I see it is that a child with true ASD will feel comfortable knowing about it and for them it will make sense why and how they are different.

A child who is otherwise neurotypical but with some quirks or differences, it won't make them feel better and may further stigmatize them socially.

When I was faced with this dilemma for my own child there was a behavior that I really wanted help with and I was tempted to take the diagnosis for my son so I could get that help, but being trained in ABA myself and as a school psychologist it didnt' feel like the right diagnosis. So my husband and I basically staged an "intervention" and we got my son over the hump that he had been facing and we never looked back. To me that is one of the biggest differences with ASD and non-ASD. ASD often requires lots and lots of conditioning to meet a certain result, but my son often once we figured out the 'why' he moved on and he was fine.

I see the functions of ASD-type behavior as different from neurotypical behavior, for example, the hand flap. There is something called "the non-autism hand-flap" and it can be a form of communication or a sensory thing--and even neurotypical people can have sensory preoccupations. But to a developmental Pediatrician or someone just filling out the DSM-V checklist a hand-flap is a hand-flap and you can meet ASD criteria.

Thus a lot of ASD and ADHD can be misdiagnosed for one another if combined with a speech delay, but according to the science the manifest differently in the brain, have different treatment (one medication one not). Yes they can be comorbid but that's more typically when you have an ASD child who is just moving uncontrollably and cannot sit still long enough to get their therapies.

But sadly I see a lot of lazy diagnostics. Drs don't care enough to differentiate diagnosis and the result is very murky understandings of both conditions.
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amother
  Bellflower  


 

Post Thu, May 09 2024, 6:32 am
The child study center at NYU is excellent but costs money. Before that, you can do a neuropsych with insurance.

Look into ODD for which the method of dealing with is called pcit. And if it's odd you must do early intervention.
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amother
  OP  


 

Post Thu, May 09 2024, 6:37 am
miami85 wrote:
The way I see it is that a child with true ASD will feel comfortable knowing about it and for them it will make sense why and how they are different.

A child who is otherwise neurotypical but with some quirks or differences, it won't make them feel better and may further stigmatize them socially.

When I was faced with this dilemma for my own child there was a behavior that I really wanted help with and I was tempted to take the diagnosis for my son so I could get that help, but being trained in ABA myself and as a school psychologist it didnt' feel like the right diagnosis. So my husband and I basically staged an "intervention" and we got my son over the hump that he had been facing and we never looked back. To me that is one of the biggest differences with ASD and non-ASD. ASD often requires lots and lots of conditioning to meet a certain result, but my son often once we figured out the 'why' he moved on and he was fine.

I see the functions of ASD-type behavior as different from neurotypical behavior, for example, the hand flap. There is something called "the non-autism hand-flap" and it can be a form of communication or a sensory thing--and even neurotypical people can have sensory preoccupations. But to a developmental Pediatrician or someone just filling out the DSM-V checklist a hand-flap is a hand-flap and you can meet ASD criteria.

Thus a lot of ASD and ADHD can be misdiagnosed for one another if combined with a speech delay, but according to the science the manifest differently in the brain, have different treatment (one medication one not). Yes they can be comorbid but that's more typically when you have an ASD child who is just moving uncontrollably and cannot sit still long enough to get their therapies.

But sadly I see a lot of lazy diagnostics. Drs don't care enough to differentiate diagnosis and the result is very murky understandings of both conditions.


Can you elaborate on “staging an intervention”?
I KNOW for a fact he doesn’t have ASD. the school knows it as well. They just want a shadow to deal with him so that they don’t have to.
I’m truly curious to hear what other parents in this situation have done.
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  miami85  




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, May 09 2024, 7:48 am
amother OP wrote:
Can you elaborate on “staging an intervention”?
I KNOW for a fact he doesn’t have ASD. the school knows it as well. They just want a shadow to deal with him so that they don’t have to.
I’m truly curious to hear what other parents in this situation have done.


We kind of cornered him--he was 4--and I thought about what his "hang up" was and why it was causing him anxiety and we figured out a way to expose him to what was making him anxious without the actual trigger and within an hour or 2 we were done, he conquered his fear and we were able to get past his behavior.

This was a major cause of "perseveration" on his part and when I went back to follow up with my son's developmental pediatrician--a highly respected one--and I wanted to show him how we eliminated 98% of his perseveration (he still has a phobia of bees, but that one we haven't quite cracked, he like will NOT eat in the sukka if he sees one bee) , once he saw "ASD" in his notes, he didn't even look at my son. He talked entirely with me, and ignored him. I was very disappointed by that. To me that is a big reason to not put ASD inappropriately, because people will see the ASD label and make assumptions before they get to know your child.
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amother
Smokey


 

Post Thu, May 09 2024, 8:29 am
Our son was like this in preschool. They only allowed him to come 3 hours a day because they simply couldn’t handle him. We got him an asd diagnosis although it’s probably just adhd. You want to know what has helped him succeed in school more than the 4 years of aba therapy he’s had? Medication!! Ritalin has literally been a game changer. Her able to control his impulses and he is a different kid!! He can interact appropriately with the other boys simply because of the medication l. Not sure how helpful the aba was at all..
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  #BestBubby  




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, May 09 2024, 8:34 am
amother NeonPink wrote:
Doesn't this explain, though, why ASD diagnoses have skyrocketed in recent years?
And that it is not because of vaxxines,


The original autism was non verbal or very minimal language.

In 1975, non verbal autism rate was 1 in 5,000. (Psychology Today).

Today the non verbal autism rate is around
1 in 500!

that is 10x increase in non verbal autism!

Many doctors and PhDs Scientists say vaccines are main cause for this 10 fold increase in non verbal autism.

Autism is listed on vaccine inserts.
Vaccine Court awarded damages for autism caused by vaccines.
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