Chassidish minhagim regarding foods

↑ Ruchel ↓

Mon, Apr 22 2024, 11:09 am

It's praiseworthy for men to not force it on children but even also women. Remember we're the ones dealing with pregnant nursing and even just periods 🤷‍♂️ and it's not just hassidim. There was a yekke gadol like this. Iirc he held xholov Yisruel for himself only

amother

↑ Pink

Mon, Apr 22 2024, 11:09 am

amother Raspberry wrote:

I never understood why these women who ask their husbands to be more lenient with them have issues with the men being more 'superior' in religion.
If you don't want to feel less then stop making yourself less then!
Yes I'm starving throughout pesach. Still, these are our minhagim and I'm not going to switch them just because I'm a woman.

Women don't "ask" their husband's to be more lenient with them. It's just acceptable in many sects & families, for the men to be more stringent then the women.
In many cases, men take on extra stringencies on themselves but they don't make the women & kids do the same. (As per advice of their Rav.
This is common in all circles, not just chassidish. The Brisker Rav used to tell his talmidim to not put extra stringencies on their wives & kids.

amother

↑ Raspberry ↓

Mon, Apr 22 2024, 11:34 am

amother Pink wrote:

I'm talking about women who grew up with specific minhagim, they're inlaws have these minhagim too, but once married they decide to be lenient. I have a bunch of these women in my family.
I'm not talking about taking on extra chumros, I'm talking about the things we grew up with.

amother

↑ Raspberry ↓

Mon, Apr 22 2024, 11:36 am

amother Scarlet wrote:

Who said its the same women?

I'm referring to the ones who are quick to find heteirim for themselves on account of them being women yet complain that Judaism favors men.
Personally, I know a few such women, that's who I thought about when writing this post.

amother

↑ Amaranthus ↓

Mon, Apr 22 2024, 12:08 pm

amother Jade wrote:

Im very surprised that ladies go after their parents minhagim. Minhagim are from the husband!!!

We go after my parents and my husband. Basically everything is the same give or take a few things.

patzer ↓

Mon, Apr 22 2024, 1:30 pm

I really don't think I'll ever understand people who don't keep to their parents'/husband's family minhagim "just because I don' wanna..."
Even on this thread, I was bothered by the posters who admitted, "we added...." or "we switched to...".
It really seems so sad. Crying

amother

Celeste

Mon, Apr 22 2024, 1:33 pm

amother Jetblack wrote:

Probably each is different
We eat all fruits and peel them
my inlaws switched to oil, we still use shmaltz

Same
We only eat carp fish
We use salt pepper balls cinnamon sticks fresh ginger

amother

↑ Wandflower ↓

Mon, Apr 22 2024, 1:38 pm

amother Jade wrote:

Im very surprised that ladies go after their parents minhagim. Minhagim are from the husband!!!

When I got married dh said whatever you did until now, continue to do in the kitchen. He didn't want the extra chumras and he decided what was good enough for the family he married into was good enough for him and he didn't want to mess with the kitchen that I was running.

amother

↑ Amaranthus

Mon, Apr 22 2024, 1:40 pm

amother Wandflower wrote:

Only dif with DH family is they buy black pepper balls and crush and check them themselves.
We always checked and crushed our salt.

amother

Lightcoral ↓

Mon, Apr 22 2024, 1:42 pm

patzer wrote:

You dont have to understand everything

amother

Brunette ↓

Mon, Apr 22 2024, 1:44 pm

I don’t think anyone is going to have a better afterlife because they struggled to eat shmaltz or unspiced food.

amother

↑ Raspberry ↓

Mon, Apr 22 2024, 1:51 pm

amother Brunette wrote:

I don’t think anyone is going to have a better afterlife because they struggled to eat shmaltz or unspiced food.

Who said anything about a better afterlife? Who said anything about it being a struggle?
We follow the customs of our parents and grandparents, I for one feel good about it.

amother

↑ Raspberry ↓

Mon, Apr 22 2024, 1:53 pm

amother Lightcoral wrote:

You dont have to understand everything

Patzer makes a good point. Do you have a good answer or is this your response? To me this sounds like you're feeling uncomfortable and maybe guilty?

amother

↑ Scarlet ↓

Mon, Apr 22 2024, 2:00 pm

patzer wrote:

Why is it sad? Who said everything they did was correct? There was a lady who posted here she made up her dh doesn't allow makeup on pesach to cover for herself when she had to go to mikvah...imagine if that gets passed one for generations because one lady made it up. Same thing , if someone feels a chumrah is too much for them and speaks with a rav abt it what is sad abt changing it...maybe the origins were nonsense.

↑ patzer ↓

Mon, Apr 22 2024, 2:04 pm

amother Lightcoral wrote:

You dont have to understand everything

Very true, Lightcoral. Smile

But I like to try. Do you think you can try and explain it? I will do my best to listen with an open mind.

amother

Chambray

Mon, Apr 22 2024, 2:04 pm

patzer wrote:

Simchas Yom tov is a deoraisa. Being miserable because your family has minhagim that don't work for you right now is being meikil on Simchas YT and sholom bayis.

↑ patzer ↓

Mon, Apr 22 2024, 2:08 pm

amother Brunette wrote:

I don’t think anyone is going to have a better afterlife because they struggled to eat shmaltz or unspiced food.

I'm not in charge of the afterlife, so I'm not going to comment on that.
But, yes, I do think that family minhagim are important, and that's especially true on Pesach.
Here's some food for thought: my family has never eaten kitnityos on Pesach. If, one Pesach, I decide to indulge in a kosher l'pesach rice cake, will that affect my afterlife? It is, after all, kosher.

amother

↑ Raspberry ↓

Mon, Apr 22 2024, 2:14 pm

amother Chambray wrote:

Simchas Yom tov is a deoraisa. Being miserable because your family has minhagim that don't work for you right now is being meikil on Simchas YT and sholom bayis.

I guess I just don't understand why someone would be miserable if they couldn't eat klp store bought cake, maybe because I don't like the taste?
And I can survive a week without chocolate or klp candy without being miserable.

My food tastes great without any spices, my kids beg for the Pesach version mid year too. So I guess I really don't relate to thos miserable feeling.
I can admit to being hungry and not having much to eat, but I'm definitely not miserable.