Chassidish minhagim regarding foods

↑ patzer ↓

Mon, Apr 22 2024, 2:15 pm

amother Scarlet wrote:

Why is it sad? Who said everything they did was correct? There was a lady who posted here she made up her dh doesn't allow makeup on pesach to cover for herself when she had to go to mikvah...imagine if that gets passed one for generations because one lady made it up. Same thing , if someone feels a chumrah is too much for them and speaks with a rav abt it what is sad abt changing it...maybe the origins were nonsense.

I do agree that she should find a tactful way of letting them know that it's not a real minhag. That's on her.
But...if she doesn't, and her daughter - in - laws end up keeping this minhag. Who knows? I may be mistaken, but I do sincerely believe that Hashem will reward them for keeping what they honestly believed was a minhag.
And Yes. If you truly believe that a minhag is too difficult, maybe you should talk it over with a rav. My post was referring to people who don't consult with a rav.

amother

Amaryllis

Mon, Apr 22 2024, 2:17 pm

Chasidish rebbish style here.
In laws only eat carrots, onions, parsley, parsnip, potatoes. Apples, pears and oranges. My parents eat whatever can be peeled. I go according to my parents. My mil does what her mother did not what her mil did. So I do what my mother does not what my mil does.
My mil does use store bought potato starch so I also so. My mother makes her own. We make our own must aka grapejuice. We of course use only shmaltz. We crack/peel nuts ourselves. We don't use any spices whatsoever. We eat fish. Both my in laws and parents do too. I have some very close vizniz family-they don't eat fish. They eat falcha fish. Wine is used although dh buys from someone who makes his own so it's heimisha Wine. Liquor isn't used. My father has a few bottles from someone who made his own. That person is no longer alive so he uses it very minimally.
Anything I missed?

amother

Yolk

Mon, Apr 22 2024, 2:18 pm

Im chabad. The basics in Chabad is peelable fruits and vegetables only no garlic ginger or radishes, no spices, and minimal processed foods.
In the olden days most families only used shmaltz and if they used sugar they would boil and strain it before pesach. Now many use oil.
How minimal the processed foods are, whether you use oil or shmaltz is very family specific.
When I was a kallah I was taught to take on my husbands minhagim. I sure as heck hope there is a reward in the afterlife for it. They are very strict and I work very hard. I don't think I'm better than anyone else who chose to switch to what's easier but to say that there is no reward for the extra effort put in to do pesach bhiddur is not what I was taught.

amother

↑ Scarlet ↓

Mon, Apr 22 2024, 2:18 pm

patzer wrote:

Why should generations need to keep a minhag she made up for her convenience? And who knows what reward they get. I have no clue how that works.

I do assume that most people who drop a minhag do speak it over with someone first idk why you think otherwise.

↑ patzer ↓

Mon, Apr 22 2024, 2:19 pm

amother Chambray wrote:

Simchas Yom tov is a deoraisa. Being miserable because your family has minhagim that don't work for you right now is being meikil on Simchas YT and sholom bayis.

I was thinking about your post, and how I would respond to that, when I noticed that Rasberry had already expressed many of my thoughts very eloquently.
But if you are really miserable, then yes, speak to a rav about it.

amother

↑ Wandflower

Mon, Apr 22 2024, 2:21 pm

patzer wrote:

I'm not in charge of the afterlife, so I'm not going to comment on that.
But, yes, I do think that family minhagim are important, and that's especially true on Pesach.
Here's some food for thought: my family has never eaten kitnityos on Pesach. If, one Pesach, I decide to indulge in a kosher l'pesach rice cake, will that affect my afterlife? It is, after all, kosher.

Kitniyos is very different than something that was peeled. Don't conflate the 2. There were edicts across the entire Ashkenaz population by the rabbis at large regarding kitniyos.
That's like saying if I'm an Ashkenaz man, I can marry many women- it won't affect my afterlife since it's not against the Torah. False, it's from the rabbanim.

↑ patzer ↓

Mon, Apr 22 2024, 2:22 pm

amother Scarlet wrote:

She shouldn't make them keep it, true.
However, if they genuinely believe it to be a minhag, I do believe they'll be rewarded.

amother

↑ Raspberry

Mon, Apr 22 2024, 2:24 pm

amother Scarlet wrote:

Most of the minhagim that come from the alter heim aren't made up, they have explanations for it
You can argue that a lot of these chumros aren't really nogeia anymore today but that's where the beauty of mesorah comes in.
I'm Chabad, a lot of things we don't eat has explanations that go back to Russia that really aren't relevant anymore today. Some things we don't eat just because the Rebbes didn't eat them. That's enough for me.

amother

Daffodil ↓

Mon, Apr 22 2024, 2:25 pm

patzer wrote:

Kitniyos is a much more established minhag, going waaay back across all Ashkenazi communities, and may even have the status of halacha to some extent. You can not say the same for some of these other minhagim.

↑ patzer ↓

Mon, Apr 22 2024, 2:34 pm

amother Daffodil wrote:

Good point. My point was that one could theoretically do away with many family minhagim saying that "it won't affect my afterlife". But what would that leave us with?

amother

↑ Daffodil

Mon, Apr 22 2024, 2:38 pm

patzer wrote:

Good point. My point was that one could theoretically do away with many family minhagim saying that "it won't affect my afterlife". But what would that leave us with?

A halachic pesach? One that brings us joy and peace?

amother

↑ Scarlet ↓

Mon, Apr 22 2024, 2:52 pm

patzer wrote:

Good point. My point was that one could theoretically do away with many family minhagim saying that "it won't affect my afterlife". But what would that leave us with?

There us plenty of halacha to keep too

amother

DarkGreen ↓

Mon, Apr 22 2024, 2:54 pm

patzer wrote:

Doing the right thing brings me joy and peace. Very Happy

The right thing is to do ratzon Hashem. Period. Simchas YT is a de’oraisa.

If someone can keep chumros and minhagim and and and b’simcha, then great. Not everyone can. And arguably not everyone should. If it’s stressful and takes away from simchas YT - better to be machmir on a de’oraisa than on things that developed thousands of years later.

amother

↑ DarkGreen

Mon, Apr 22 2024, 2:55 pm

Ruchel wrote:

Only for Pessach?

Also my Bobov family pre war? Sounds like as my saba said charedi today wouldn't eat by charedi pre war 😉
Gebrokt 2 first days
No peel

Ohh that’s interesting. I wonder if people today would eat by their own great-great-grandparents in the shtetl.

amother

↑ Lightcoral

Mon, Apr 22 2024, 4:57 pm

patzer wrote:

Very true, Lightcoral. Smile

But I like to try. Do you think you can try and explain it? I will do my best to listen with an open mind.

I can only speak for myself. I changed things in other areas of my life too. My father is a moody uptight person w a temper so everything was influenced by that. And my mother does things to extreme.
And my husband for his own reasons is also less strict with foods that we use on pesach.
It works well for me because im not so geshikt and deal with depression at times especially in stressful times like erev pesach so it helps that I dont have to start from scratch ie cooking up shmaltz erev yom tov morning.

But maybe its an excuse and I dont understand it either.

amother

↑ Brunette

Mon, Apr 22 2024, 5:51 pm

amother Raspberry wrote:

I guess I just don't understand why someone would be miserable if they couldn't eat klp store bought cake, maybe because I don't like the taste?
And I can survive a week without chocolate or klp candy without being miserable.

My food tastes great without any spices, my kids beg for the Pesach version mid year too. So I guess I really don't relate to thos miserable feeling.
I can admit to being hungry and not having much to eat, but I'm definitely not miserable.

Ahhh so now I understand. Because YOU don’t like specific foods, and YOUR kids like your food and YOU enjoy cooking and everything else that churros entail….. we all should. Wow, that’s so so brilliant. Thank you for your explanation.

↑ Ruchel

Wed, Jun 05 2024, 1:25 pm

amother DarkGreen wrote:

Ohh that’s interesting. I wonder if people today would eat by their own great-great-grandparents in the shtetl.

"Just as the pot in which I cook something in the inn when I have to stay there overnight, differs from all other pots. Because I make a mark on it. Three letters, a kaf, a shin and a resh, inside on the bottom. The word “kosher”. If the letters are still there next time I know: I can use the pot. You understand?’"
Imagine relying on this today? frum frum people, sheitel and all.

They also already had pessachdik dishes (1873) and the mother in law kisses her daughter and her daughter's chosson once the match is concluded. The chosson can also kiss the girl's cheek. And once the mother has forgotten and she regrets it! It is SO fascinating.
(book, Melnitz)