Obese + dieting How much weight to lose before a/o notices??

amother

OP ↓

Tue, Apr 09 2024, 10:14 pm

I am feeling a bit discouraged.
I am obese and have been working really really hard to lose weight. Like REALLY hard.
Regular diets don't help me lose weight. I just gain on everything.

I know that if I lose five lb, no one will notice. obviously.

But over the past few months, I lost more than 20 lb, which is huuge for me, no pun intended.

I had a simcha recently and saw family who I haven't seen since before I lost any weight.
No one said a word about it.

I'm not talking about friends or acquaintances who wouldn't know if they should say something or if better not to.

I'm talking about close family who certainly DO say when they notice.

Feeling a bit discouraged......

amother

Stonewash

Tue, Apr 09 2024, 10:16 pm

How much do you weigh? 20 lbs is relative.

Anyways, they say it’s like a paper towel roll 😂 in the beginning when you use it there’s no change but at the end each paper towel makes the roll much smaller.

amother

Tanzanite

Tue, Apr 09 2024, 10:37 pm

I'm obese as well. When I diet and lose pounds, I get no comments. When I exercise and lose inches (even not dieting and losing weight) I get compliments on how good I look....

lamplighter

Tue, Apr 09 2024, 11:04 pm

25 lbs. Until I lose 25 lbs I look the same and no one notices. Unfortunately I've done this so many times I have it down to a science.

amother

Azalea

Tue, Apr 09 2024, 11:13 pm

Same. Im tall and fat. Takes a lot to notice.

So far I lost 35 pounds in 14 months. Its slow so no one noticed.

amother

DarkRed

Tue, Apr 09 2024, 11:40 pm

Took close to 40lb a for anyone to realize. It’s hard but keep going eventually you’ll get there!

lovelylife

Tue, Apr 09 2024, 11:51 pm

Just a thought for you; I never comment on people's weight loss, whether it's significantly noticeable or not.
Your body is none of my business, and your body is the least interesting thing about you.
I think you may need to circle back as to what your "why" is for your weightloss if you seek approval to continue.

Chana Miriam S

Tue, Apr 09 2024, 11:53 pm

lovelylife wrote:

This. I came here to say this.

Pandabeer

Tue, Apr 09 2024, 11:56 pm

lovelylife wrote:

Same here
You also never know if they're sick and are not very happy with the weight loss. Better not to step on anyone's toes

Dolly Welsh

Tue, Apr 09 2024, 11:58 pm

I have that attitude too. I just don't say anything. I barely care. I just relate to the person.

Even if they lost a hundred pounds and looked completely different I would have a shy attitude unless they brought it up first. It's just not my place to mention other people's bodies, I feel.

I would compliment a very different color hair. But to me that's different. It would have to be very different, too.

So it's that.

People do see, and they do admire. Sometimes you will catch a fleeting smile. They see.

amother

Oleander

Wed, Apr 10 2024, 12:02 am

20 pounds is like not schlepping around 4 bags of flour wherever you go. Soon people may notice how you are glowing with that relief.

amother

DarkViolet

Wed, Apr 10 2024, 12:14 am

Personally, I wouldn't comment. I'm obese too and if I ever lose weight (hashem, please help me lose 70 pounds one day!) I wouldn't want anyone to comment. I'm still the same person, my body shouldn't matter to anyone else besides me. Perhaps they do notice and are choosing not to comment.

amother

↑ OP ↓

Wed, Apr 10 2024, 12:32 am

I DONT want random people commenting.
But certain close family members who have commented on things like this in the past (mother, sister) who would certainly comment if they notice, said nothing.
Which to me indicates that it's not significant.

I'm not doing it for them or for their approval, I'm doing it for myself. But I was kind of using this simcha as a barometer to see if it's noticable yet.

Hope I'm explaining myself well.

essie14

Wed, Apr 10 2024, 12:51 am

I never comment on anyone's weight loss.
If an obese friend or relative is wearing a beautiful dress, even if she has gained weight, I'll say "you look beautiful " but I'll never ever comment on weight.

amother

Anemone

Wed, Apr 10 2024, 4:07 am

lovelylife wrote:

Thank you so much for that!
I am an obese person who has gained and lost gained and lost for my whole life.
I can't stand that people comment all the time about my body.
Thank you

imasinger

Wed, Apr 10 2024, 7:22 am

amother Stonewash wrote:

Love this analogy!

OP, regardless of what anyone else around you says, I want to say, good for you, that's fantastic! May you continue to see success, and to feel better.

amother

↑ OP ↓

Wed, Apr 10 2024, 8:25 am

imasinger wrote:

Love this analogy!

OP, regardless of what anyone else around you says, I want to say, good for you, that's fantastic! May you continue to see success, and to feel better.

Thank you so much!

amother

↑ OP ↓

Wed, Apr 10 2024, 8:29 am

essie14 wrote:

Nice but not the point of the thread. I'm referring to my mother and sisters who I know for a fact would say something (encouragingly), not to general others who I don't want commenting.

and again, it's not that I want the comments, but rather was using this simcha as a milestone barometer.

amother

Catmint

Wed, Apr 10 2024, 8:55 am

If it’s for you, why do the opinions of others matter? Also, some people find commenting on weight uncomfortable. I’m one of them.